[INTJ] The Fi Thread. (Expose your gooey insides here) - Page 224

The Fi Thread. (Expose your gooey insides here)

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This is a discussion on The Fi Thread. (Expose your gooey insides here) within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Im back in my old neighborhood and decided to take a walk down the road where we met before. I ...

  1. #2231
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Im back in my old neighborhood and decided to take a walk down the road where we met before. I could have guessed she wasn't there, but the hope she'll be back remains.
    sherkanner, EyesOpen, birdsintrees and 1 others thanked this post.

  2. #2232
    INFP - The Idealists

    *cleaning up goo*
    I like this not in a 'awwww' way. I've never met an INTJ in real before and there are too many stereotypical descriptions of them online. This thread makes it so relatable and made some kind of connection. For all the intriguing topics that are discussed, I only feel truly connected even at a glimpse of 'goo'.

  3. #2233
    INFP - The Idealists

    '.

  4. #2234
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I am finally beginning to come to terms with this feeling of mortality. Slowly, it creeps up on me and strikes me insidiously when I least expect it. When some one hits a ball at me and I am unable to simply catch it or when a critical rope needs to be held at just the right time to stop the boat. It is difficult to realize that I cannot do everything as efficiently and perfectly as I used to. I am beginning to be more patient and tolerant of others because I am having to be patient and tolerant with myself. Even thought has slowed down. It is difficult to feel this way. It is difficult to know that no one has been with me on this journey all this way (have I been the one to leave them behind in the past???) to give me an understanding look when I struggle at something that took me two seconds a few years ago and to give me a comforting hug as if to say - "it is ok, all clocks slow down eventually, everything stalls, time contracts as one ages". And for now I continue to shoulder the burden of accomplishing things alone and perhaps forever. Everything came together and hit me all at once as I watched "The Jewish Cardinal" last night.
    Ferven thanked this post.

  5. #2235

    LMFAO. The Tuvoc thing made me laugh.

    Mm...

    I don't know what to say here - my Fi is very alien to me and must be bought out by tapping into my mushy side. Even when it is bought out, I want to shove it back in and retreat as far as I can away from it. It scares the hell of out me; things beyond my control I want to stay away from.

    I want to protect people from this side of myself and protect myself. I feel like it is dangerous because I am alienate to them and don't know what will come of it or the outcomes. If I feel attachment coming on, I will disconnect and retreat. Demonstrably, all the times I let my Fi run things, the outcomes have ruined many things, hurt feelings, and hurting my squishy gooey side of myself. I can't handle heartbreak because I am too vulnerable in such a state as it is, so I avoid relationships in general - there are no guarantees, no control, no structure in relationships and love, such a state requires an extreme vulnerability, risk and trust on my behalf.

    I am very sensitive and extremely vulnerable in my Fi - may someone bring it out, and manage to keep it out, will be very scary for me.

    I think my Fi is so messed up - I smile or giggle at the death of loved ones because of lack of understanding and proper registration of feelings.

    I prefer to just keep it away; where I am in my comfortable zone - I am happy there and things go smoothly.
    Last edited by Catwalk; 10-10-2015 at 06:22 AM.
    the_cheshire_cat thanked this post.

  6. #2236
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I am in a rather melancholy mood and was thinking back to the time when my nephew wanted to play the lego video game and we climbed on the bed and as he played the game and climbed up the levels - at each level doing one of those NFL end zone dances on the screen as well as in real life. Ah, the precious moments when all the hard work one does becomes worth it for just a few moments of sunset closing down in a final blaze of glory and revealing in a little ones joy. so sad and yet so joyful. i am reminded of tagore's beautiful poem at this point (or rather pieces of it)

    And she throws her arm around my neck and hugs me.
    I quip, ‘Are you trying to transfer some of that poetic color
    From my throat into your arms?’
    She answers, ‘That’s not how a poet should talk:
    I’m the one who passes the touch of poetry into your voice:
    I may even have awoken song.’

    I listen in silence, too happy to reply.
    I say to myself - The aloofness of nature
    Is constant, like a mountain it looks down loftily
    From numberless accumulated years.
    But my Sunayani,
    Morning star,
    Can lightly and suddenly scale its immensity;
    And time’s great disregard surrenders in that instant.

    Poet of Mohenjadaro, your evening star
    Has passed through its setting
    To surmount again the crest of morning
    Here in my life.

  7. #2237
    INTJ - The Scientists

    thanks to starbucks. yesterday I had a wonderful conversation with my older son. and yet i feel so sad. when he sits there trying to understand my work and I his (optical cooling apparently), i am bereft when he says that he may not celebrate his graduation after finishing undergrad because its just one step on the road to a PhD. oh my son, celebrate these accomplishments, let your father partake of your joy. why do you deny me my small pleasures. the pleasure of seeing you look at the future in that clear eyed way you have and your curly hair. children deliberately drive the knife in deep without even realizing what they are doing. do you not even realize that all i care about is you and your brothers vision for the future - the rest be damned.
    EyesOpen, jeb, Shameless Nation and 1 others thanked this post.

  8. #2238

    Quote Originally Posted by Flamingo View Post
    LMFAO. The Tuvoc thing made me laugh.

    Mm...

    I don't know what to say here - my Fi is very alien to me and must be bought out by tapping into my mushy side. Even when it is bought out, I want to shove it back in and retreat as far as I can away from it. It scares the hell of out me; things beyond my control I want to stay away from.

    I want to protect people from this side of myself and protect myself. I feel like it is dangerous because I am alienate to them and don't know what will come of it or the outcomes. If I feel attachment coming on, I will disconnect and retreat. Demonstrably, all the times I let my Fi run things, the outcomes have ruined many things, hurt feelings, and hurting my squishy gooey side of myself. I can't handle heartbreak because I am too vulnerable in such a state as it is, so I avoid relationships in general - there are no guarantees, no control, no structure in relationships and love, such a state requires an extreme vulnerability, risk and trust on my behalf.

    I am very sensitive and extremely vulnerable in my Fi - may someone bring it out, and manage to keep it out, will be very scary for me.

    I think my Fi is so messed up - I smile or giggle at the death of loved ones because of lack of understanding and proper registration of feelings.

    I prefer to just keep it away; where I am in my comfortable zone - I am happy there and things go smoothly.
    Sounds like avoidant attachment to me.

    We never really have control; only the illusion of it. Reality is much like falling dominoes, and it tends to taste best when we embrace the fall. Study the history of everything, and it is very difficult not to notice how one thing leads to another - whereas will and choice tend to fade away.

    Also, since this is the thread of gooey insides,


  9. #2239

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    Sounds like avoidant attachment to me.

    We never really have control; only the illusion of it. Reality is much like falling dominoes, and it tends to taste best when we embrace the fall. Study the history of everything, and it is very difficult not to notice how one thing leads to another - whereas will and choice tend to fade away.
    Thank you for this and the link - It seems to correspond with a lot of my behavior and reasoning exactly, everything from the article seemed exactly on point. I guess I must work on somehow improving this - thankfully it hasn't caused me any real problems other than lack of relationships and trusting others, etc but that still doesn't bother me much, either - I don't think these are necessarily problems. I do prefer a more temporarily lifestyle when it comes to relationships, intimacy, etc because of so much uncertainty. I just don't like uncertainty.

    Maybe on day things will change.


  10. #2240

    Quote Originally Posted by Flamingo View Post
    Thank you for this and the link - It seems to correspond with a lot of my behavior and reasoning exactly, everything from the article seemed exactly on point. I guess I must work on somehow improving this - thankfully it hasn't caused me any real problems other than lack of relationships and trusting others, etc but that still doesn't bother me much, either - I don't think these are necessarily problems. I do prefer a more temporarily lifestyle when it comes to relationships, intimacy, etc because of so much uncertainty. I just don't like uncertainty.

    Maybe on day things will change.

    You're welcome. As stated in the article, it's the avoidant attachment style itself that likely causes the "doesn't bother me" part When you have an avoidant attachment style, you've learned to "turn off" the part of you that wants to care - or more likely, to keep it outside the conscious parts of your mind. Your attachment style can change, especially if you work on it. I have some avoidant traits, mostly in my relationship to my parents but not so much romantically. Humans are (alas ) not "designed" to be solitary.
    Shameless Nation and Schema B thanked this post.


     
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