[INTJ] Not Getting Along with ENFPs: Contrary to stereotype

Not Getting Along with ENFPs: Contrary to stereotype

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 98
Thank Tree129Thanks

This is a discussion on Not Getting Along with ENFPs: Contrary to stereotype within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I've read a lot and a lot and a lot about ENFPs getting along with INTJs. But out of all ...

  1. #1

    Not Getting Along with ENFPs: Contrary to stereotype

    I've read a lot and a lot and a lot about ENFPs getting along with INTJs.

    But out of all the ENFPs I've met (making this statement only empirical), one I completely doorslammed ((she laughed about panic attacks and mimicked one in front of me in attempt to narrate my little story for the world to see -- she has the EQ of a boar despite her emotional expressiveness) and being the oblivious idiot she is, she still hasn't noticed that I've doorslammed her), one I get along quite ok with but frankly, I'm quite irritated by how she gets offended by everything, and another that I'm childhood friends with and that I feel comfortable talking to but ultimately have no common interests with because she babbles on about gossip or trivial things I have no regard for all day, in which she then asks for my opinion on (I say 'I don't think anything', and she exclaims 'how can you have no opinion!!!!' in which I say 'what's the point of having an opinion towards these matters'. and when I tell her an interesting fact or study I saw, she says 'you know I won't bother remembering this right?')

    So what's the appeal? I don't mean to say that I won't get along with all ENFPs or that they are all terrible people, but I want to understand where the electrostatic attraction -- or the stereotype, for that matter -- is coming from.
    Praesepe, Judson Joist, Reiyn Isa and 2 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    I can relate.Because this is what I think about the ENTJ x INFP thing,too.But then I guess in a way,ENFP and INTJ get along better from what I've seen...

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    sounds like the problem is with mistypings, either you are not intj or all three of them are not enfps
    EyesOpen, Schizoid, Trec93 and 3 others thanked this post.

  4. #4

    1. Are you intj
    2. Are they enfp
    3. How old are yall

    All that is really important in relations
    petitpèlerin, Santa Gloss and nam thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    My INTJ father gets along just fine (great, even) with ENFPs... All of them are very intellectual and respectful though, and actually more introspective than most people would think. They do talk a lot, but mostly it's about how we could improve society, what's problematic with the politics of today, how we could build more efficient infrastructure, and so on. I don't think I know anyone who hates gossip as much as the ENFPs I know, and they're often quick to hammer down onto whoever speaks ill of someone else behind their backs.

    Your ENFPs really don't sound like they're very balanced people. Most things you mentioned about them sound very rude actually, a trait I'd like to associate with being unbalanced rather than being a specific type (even though I have to say I've seen the kinds of behaviour you've mentioned more often in ESFs than in other types - they could just be unbalanced though, it might not have to do with their type either).
    Last edited by Elaihr; 02-29-2016 at 11:09 AM.
    Judson Joist, ai.tran.75 and fanaticalmusings thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INTJ - The Scientists

    They don't sound anything like the ENFPs I have known. Most are actually a bit reserved/private/hesitant in emotional expression. I have NEVER heard an ENFP openly mock anyone. In fact, the ones I've known are champions of the misfits and can choose to get along, even when they don't particularly like someone.

    Sounds like a load of mistyping somewhere.
    Figure, kaleidoscope, Coraline and 6 others thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by hearmeroar101 View Post
    I've read a lot and a lot and a lot about ENFPs getting along with INTJs.

    But out of all the ENFPs I've met (making this statement only empirical), one I completely doorslammed ((she laughed about panic attacks and mimicked one in front of me in attempt to narrate my little story for the world to see -- she has the EQ

    do you mean 1.Q.?

    of a boar despite her emotional expressiveness) and being the oblivious idiot she is, she still hasn't noticed that I've doorslammed her), one I get along quite ok with but frankly, I'm quite irritated by how she gets offended by everything, and another that I'm childhood friends with and that I feel comfortable talking to but ultimately have no common interests with because she babbles on about gossip or trivial things I have no regard for all day, in which she then asks for my opinion on (I say 'I don't think anything', and she exclaims 'how can you have no opinion!!!!' in which I say 'what's the point of having an opinion towards these matters'. and when I tell her an interesting fact or study I saw, she says 'you know I won't bother remembering this right?')

    So what's the appeal? I don't mean to say that I won't get along with all ENFPs or that they are all terrible people, but I want to understand where the electrostatic attraction -- or the stereotype, for that matter -- is coming from.
    it could be your attitude
    you do state in your post that she is a idiot, low I.Q.
    could not a person with a higher I.Q. make the same judgement about you?
    besides imagine how drab the world would be if every one was exactly the same
    try being more tolerant and accepting of others
    cyamitide, EyesOpen, SantaFox and 2 others thanked this post.

  8. #8

    I think we all make this mistake to a degree, my previous posts are even indicative of this but it's unwise to generalise a whole type based on your experience with them. Like said above, the ENFPs (if they really were so) that you met, don't sound like balanced individuals and that is likely to not have anything to do with their types. No one likes someone who would mimic them crying or having a panic attack, that's a douche move for any type.

    However, if makes me question, if you feel these people aren't intelligent or on your level (to put it simply), why do you bother hanging out with them at all? If you hang out with them, you're giving them the impression you like them, isn't that exacerbating the problem? It's easy to fall into the territory of thinking "My pursuits are superior to theirs as they like to gossip and talk about trivial matters. I prefer philosophy." etc. If you don't feel as though they're your equals, why bother giving them the impression that they are? This isn't meant to be an insult, just a question. Perhaps you do like them and simply feel they aren't really 'hearing' your complaints.

    That being said, you don't need to let a compatibility chart dominate who you date or socialise with. You may just be a person who doesn't like ENFPs and that's fine. But don't paint them all with the same brush or you'll miss out on meeting great ones. It sounds like you've made some attempt to let them know why you're irritated with them but I've learnt, sometimes when we think we're being direct and clear, we aren't. So it's impossible to expect them to change if you cannot articulate your feelings to them.

    ENFPs are meant be good matches for INTJs and INFJs because ENFPs help us be more laid back and relax. And we help them organise themselves. There are many other reasons and you can read them up on loads of websites. In my personal experience, I felt most myself and not guarded when I was around the ENFP male I liked and he told me he liked my quietnes and how calm I was because it grounded him.

    These things aren't going to suit or appeal to all ENFPs and INTJs/INFJs. And again, that's fine.
    Last edited by lavendersnow; 02-29-2016 at 05:04 AM.

  9. #9

    tbh i adore NF's
    me closest friends all be NF
    yuose guize are da best
    ninjahitsawall, Elaihr, cryptowang and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by hearmeroar101 View Post
    So what's the appeal? I don't mean to say that I won't get along with all ENFPs or that they are all terrible people, but I want to understand where the electrostatic attraction -- or the stereotype, for that matter -- is coming from.
    I think it's because she is a woman too. I don't see INTJ guys getting along with ENFP guys very often either.
    ninjahitsawall, Stasis and tinyheart thanked this post.


     
Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. What the purpose of arguing if you dont have a contrary point?
    By MisterPerfect in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 01-06-2016, 11:23 PM
  2. [INTP] Contrary Self-Development
    By Ista in forum INTP Forum - The Thinkers
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-31-2015, 04:30 PM
  3. [ENFP] Clumsiness and ENFPs - real life or just another stereotype?
    By Sewcialist in forum ENFP Forum - The Inspirers
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 03-16-2012, 08:17 PM
  4. [ENFJ] Do you ever find your self being more contrary with people you like more?
    By dulcinea in forum ENFJ Forum - The Givers
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-07-2011, 12:48 PM
  5. Relationships with your contrary type?
    By Nutrients in forum Myers Briggs Forum
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 01-25-2011, 02:15 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:04 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0