This is a discussion on How do you get over friend break-ups? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by HalfBloodDragon I thought I'd eventually get over it, but it's been 5 years now, and I still ...
To explain what happened, we were close friends in a group, and had our first real fight. She's an ENFJ, and took every disagreement with her as attacking her. I wasn't the only one she did this to in the fight, just the closest one. We tried to set up a mediation with her, but she refused it flat out. She has since blocked me on every way to contact her. Obviously, I can find ways around that, I just see no reason to. The moment she was hurt, she lashed out and hurt everyone else, seeing no problem with that because SHE was hurt.
tl;dr she's selfish and vindictive and not worth trying to force into more resolution.
Friend breakup?? this is comical. wha tha fuk iz ther to geh over???
or do you wana get gasht trying to pik it up???
<<<<<<--------------------take it frum a koon!
wha iz ther 2 geh over??
Thank you, that was incredibly helpful.
Actually the second comment sounds rather vindictive to me - due to you being hurt. Thing is, that by writing such a comment about your friend, you're actually not so much different than your friend imo.
Yes, talking about the same person. During the fight, I learned that she had never shared those sentiments, seeing me as merely a friend from her past that she enjoyed doing some things with -- and nothing more.
If she wanted to reconcile right this second, I would be ecstatic. There would be nothing I'd want more. The problem is that at the time, during the fight, she literally refused to even reference anyone's pain other than her own. She deleted any message that "made her feel bad," and guess what, being held responsible for ANYTHING made her feel bad. Repeatedly, I tried to seek mediation with her. She refused. I tried anything I could to repair the relationship and keep it from utterly imploding. She was completely uninterested. I had made her "feel bad" and that was a crime she could not tolerate. She cut off all forms of communication with me.
Yes, I feel betrayed and am bitter about that. She had viewed me as a disposable friend, which hurts a hell of a lot when it's someone I expected to know forever. You are seeing comments I made because I am still in pain from her -- a wound that could not have been inflicted had my first statement of the retirement home not also been true.
Ok, I understand. Just try to move on then and forget about her. And try not to get bitter. Maybe even try to be happy that you saw her real face before it was too late. At any rate, you don't need such a friend and shouldn't waste any more thoughts on her. Better focus on finding another friend. Good luck.