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This is a discussion on Excerpts from everyday conversation within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; backstory fact 1: the scrum teams at this place all gave themselves names. backstory fact 2: product guy is now ...

  1. #1011

    backstory fact 1: the scrum teams at this place all gave themselves names.
    backstory fact 2: product guy is now a snowboarder.
    backstory fact 3: excitable dev is still learning to swim.

    so, today:

    product guy, wearing dorky hat and clutching swaddled snowboard: well, you guys, i'm off . . . going to go try be faster than *dev 1*
    us: don't crash
    me: i can't help it. i'm suddenly picturing you in a body cast, web-exing from your nice traction bed
    dev 2: that's what the snowboard bag's for. if something goes wrong they just bag you up.
    dev 1: yeahno. or, if bits break off in the collisions, you collect them inside the bag
    me: guys, this is callous.
    dev 2: i dunno. if we can mock <excitable dev> with stories of sharks . . .
    me, to product guy: that's what you need. a shark.
    pg: ??
    me: then, if something goes wrong, the shark can take care of it all.
    pg: shark on a frozen mountainside . . . h'm.
    dev 1: could happen.
    dev 2: happened in sharknado
    all of us: wha?
    dev 2: sharknado. it's a movie. google it.
    me: *googles* oh fer crud's sake.
    dev 2: *giggles*
    dev 1: *explains to the excitable dev*
    excitable dev: nooooooo. . . .
    me: *reads* well, i like this. the main character's name is apparently fin.
    excitable dev: is a real movie?
    devs 1 and 2: yup.
    me: our team should rebrand itself. sharknado.
    dev 2: *eyes light up*
    me: NO.
    Agni, TrippedOnReality, EyesOpen and 1 others thanked this post.

  2. #1012
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by lilysocks View Post
    sharknado
    ah yes sharknado
    my brother likes to find really shitty movies because he finds them hilarious for some reason.
    Like there's one about a rubber car tire that goes around killing people. It also has telepathic powers.
    Actually the trailer does look kinda funny

  3. #1013
    ENTP - The Visionaries


    Friend: "Miley Cyrus looks like a DS stylus"
    Friend 2: "Feat. Ke$ha."

  4. #1014
    INTJ - The Scientists

    After a longer than usual commute to the office due to snow:

    INFP Guy: Who is all here? Stand up and be accounted for!
    Me: Me, but I just got here. Took me an hour and a half.
    INFP: Really? I came in late to avoid the traffic, and there wasn't really any.
    Me: You must have teleported all the traffic from your side of the city to mine.
    INFP: Yes, that's my super power, the ability to transport traffic.
    Me: Ooo, that's a good super power but not as good as INTJ's super power.
    INFP: Oh? What is INTJ's super power?
    Me: She can control the weather with her attire. If she wears flipflops, it's 80 degrees.
    *INTJ laughs*
    INFP: Oh, that is a good super power, but I'd go with flying, hands down.
    Me: I'd go with shape shifting because I could be invisible and fly, minus the Odo bucket mess.
    INFP: Oh. Hm, that is a good one.
    ENFP: I'd be an owl.
    *INFP, INTJ, TOR and ISFP all bust out in confused laughter*
    Me: I'm not sure that being an owl is a super power.
    ENFP: But owls are awesome, and I didn't hear the first part of the conversation about super powers, so yeah, my super power will be being an owl.
    *collective laughter*
    INFP: Yes, for my super power I shall be...an animal.
    Me: Somewhere there is an animal wishing for it's super power to be a human.
    INFP <pretending to take the perspective of an animal>: Yes! My super power will be increased cognitive abilities!

    Pretty sure poor ISFP doesn't have a clue what to do with us nutcases.
    lilysocks, EyesOpen and ffjasmine thanked this post.

  5. #1015
    ENTP - The Visionaries


    Quote Originally Posted by lilysocks View Post
    backstory fact 1: the scrum teams at this place all gave themselves names.
    backstory fact 2: product guy is now a snowboarder.
    backstory fact 3: excitable dev is still learning to swim.

    so, today:

    product guy, wearing dorky hat and clutching swaddled snowboard: well, you guys, i'm off . . . going to go try be faster than *dev 1*
    us: don't crash
    me: i can't help it. i'm suddenly picturing you in a body cast, web-exing from your nice traction bed
    dev 2: that's what the snowboard bag's for. if something goes wrong they just bag you up.
    dev 1: yeahno. or, if bits break off in the collisions, you collect them inside the bag
    me: guys, this is callous.
    dev 2: i dunno. if we can mock <excitable dev> with stories of sharks . . .
    me, to product guy: that's what you need. a shark.
    pg: ??
    me: then, if something goes wrong, the shark can take care of it all.
    pg: shark on a frozen mountainside . . . h'm.
    dev 1: could happen.
    dev 2: happened in sharknado
    all of us: wha?
    dev 2: sharknado. it's a movie. google it.
    me: *googles* oh fer crud's sake.
    dev 2: *giggles*
    dev 1: *explains to the excitable dev*
    excitable dev: nooooooo. . . .
    me: *reads* well, i like this. the main character's name is apparently fin.
    excitable dev: is a real movie?
    devs 1 and 2: yup.
    me: our team should rebrand itself. sharknado.
    dev 2: *eyes light up*
    me: NO.
    I wish I worked where you do. If I even started this conversation people would be confused.
    lilysocks thanked this post.

  6. #1016

    Quote Originally Posted by MegaTuxRacer View Post
    I wish I worked where you do. If I even started this conversation people would be confused.
    these guys are a good mix. and around this place, conversations like those are the ones that make sense. i'm already sorry about this, you guys, but you'll just have to skip over this one. my need may be greater than yours.

    4 weeks ago, sprint planning:

    product guy: story x. estimates?
    devs: 30 mins work. 1 point.
    me: no.
    them: reason?
    me: 6 days testing. 3 days test-case writing. 8 points.
    scrummaster: 1 point it is then. next!
    me: no.
    me, sm and pg: *cunning plan to make the real qa effort in doing it right visible to the wide world*
    product guy to me: 160 hours of qa tasks for 2 weeks of work. i luvvit. watch this.
    product guy to the wide world: see these hours here? we need more than one qa analyst.
    thing 1: *silence*

    3 weeks ago, mid-sprint
    product guy and scrummaster to thing 1: we need more than one qa analyst.
    thing 1: *silence*
    product guy and scrummaster to wide world: we are at risk because of qa overload.
    dev 1: *twiddles thumbs*
    me, pg and sm to dev 1: here, pretend you're a tester. test this.
    dev 1: *tests*
    me: *writes regression cases*

    2 weeks ago, new sprint.
    scrummaster: 3 incomplete stories from last sprint, rolling over into this one as 'QA only' stories.
    pg and me: deal.
    me: let's see if that fetches thing 1.
    product guy: hee.

    10 days ago.
    thing 1: YOU HAD A DEVELOPER TESTING LAST SPRINT NO NO NO NO THIS IS WRONG WHERE WAS LILY?
    pg: writing your frigging regression cases. she was fully booked the whole time just doing that.
    thing 1: THIS IS NOT SATISFACTORY OFF WITH YOUR HEADS GET LILY IN HERE
    me: . . . que?
    thing 1: EXPLAIN
    me: *explains*
    thing 1: *sees golden opportunity to patronize, settles right down* no no you see lily dear, this is what offshore is for. not developers.
    me: *breath* thing 1, as you will see from the task descriptions, the bottleneck is the writing of cases for offshore to run.
    pg and sm: . . . and you will notice we still have 18 story points of 'QA only' work rolled into this sprint. for writing cases. left over from last sprint.
    thing 1: HOW DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE ANY SENSE?
    pg and sm: glad you asked that question. we believe it points up the fact that we need more than just one qa analyst if you want things done the way that you seem to want them.
    thing 1: THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN. YOU LEFT IT TOO LATE. YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR HELP LONG AGO.
    sm and pg, in chorus: but thing 1 . . . we did.
    thing 1: *silence*
    pg and sm: every few days for a month, and starting back even earlier than that.
    thing 1: this is a highly unsatisfactory situation and i'm not happy.
    thing 2, first communication with me in a month: what the hell's going on?
    me: *describes* *shuffles him off to pg and the whole email thread*
    thing 2, to all: i fully support lily.
    pg to me: ...? who asked him anyway?
    me to pg: i dunno what he thinks he's supporting. i don't think i've said anything yet.
    pg: ksnrrk.

    thing 1: *three more days of silence*

    last friday
    me, to self: sprint end next tuesday . . . 40 hours' work still waiting . . . thing 1 . . . sidekick . . . bullshit . . . ah, fuck it.
    me to workplace: i'm *cough cough* sick today.
    pg, back at me: i don't blame you at all.

    monday
    sm and pg: still silence out of thing 1, we note.
    me: meh, that's how he works. stall and block, then disappear. then he shows up once it's too late, abuses you for letting that happen, and starts it again.
    sm: hell with that. i'm scheduling a meeting right now. him AND his sidekick.
    me: oh god. can't i just have the galloping shits again and go home?

    thing 1 sidekick, to me: can you call me? we need to decide what we're going to say in this meeting.
    me to self: . . . what? i'd rather be testing.

    phone call with sidekick, my lord
    sidekick: so what is the problem here?
    me: *imeanwhat*. the problem is the one described in all the emails so far. and in the two or three meetings we've already all lost five or six hours on. we have -
    sidekick: no, no, you see <explains to me in simple terms how to perform a test>
    me: sidekick, i know how to test.
    sidekick: so then what is the problem here?
    me: *mutes phone* FUCK ME
    dev 2: *jumps six inches*
    me: *unmutes* sidekick, i guess i'm just not understanding why this concept is difficult. *describes functional change*. *spells out ramifications for QA purposes*. it's just a really straightforward situation of a simple dev task needing a lot of verification and validation.
    sidekick: *wisdom* ahhh, now i see. but lily dear, we have regression test cases for that. that's why we have them. you don't need to waste your time on all this. *soothing voice* see, then you just let the offshore people do that, and you focus on -
    me: NO! <dev 2 jumps>. i don't think i've quite made my point then. the thing that we did was a CHANGE. the existing test cases no longer apply.
    sidekick: well, then you write new ones. or update the ones that exist.
    me: yes, exactly. i do. i'm relieved; it seems we do have the same thoughts on.
    sidekick: so what is the problem here?
    me: *hangs self with phantom necktie. product guy blows warm tea out his nose* BECAUSE . . . *stop. breath*. i believe that was the point we've all been making from here, on my team. it takes a substantial amount of time to do that. it takes the time you see in those task estimates.
    sidekick: hmmm.

    product guy, to me, late today: yeah, i just fucking hate them both. both of them.
    Agni, TrippedOnReality, EyesOpen and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #1017
    INTJ - The Scientists

    INFJ bro: If I'm on a cruise ship and there's a gym, I shouldn't really do leg exercises because if it sinks, I'd have to tread water with sore muscles
    Me: I'll keep that in mind

  8. #1018

    *me very busy working*

    Finance manager comes in (unknown MBTI): Hey Alles, I've not said hi yet this morning :) !
    Me: O yeah. Hi!
    Her: *silence*
    Me: *silence*
    Her: *walks off*

     
    She was a bit bothered, so I made her some tea later the way she likes. Doing nice things remains easier than saying them...
    TrippedOnReality, lilysocks, EyesOpen and 1 others thanked this post.

  9. #1019

    Church ends and a few of my friends, sis, and I are just kind of standing around .. I tried saying bye but was met with "you're going right away?? Awww."
    So, sis and I stand around and chat a bit longer..

    Me (quietly to sis): well, we can probably just go if the conversation is dying down now.
    Friend: *bursts out laughing*
    Me: oh...did you hear me?? Oops I meant that for sis.
    Sis: I didn't even hear you!
    Friend: I like how you just don't want to hang out..
    Me: well...it's more that I don't really like to just stand around after something is done. I'm like "what are we doing? Why are we just standing here?" Especially if everyone is done talking.

    --a few days later, out to dinner with same friend--
    meal ends, bills have been paid.
    Friend: do you want to go? I know how much you hate just hanging around..!
    Me: no, this is different...the point of going to dinner with a friend is to chat. Although...yeah eventually sometime soon I would wrap this up since we already ate and paid.
    Friend: uh huh...yep! Don't worry, I'm learning all your EyesOpen little ways!
    Me: tee-hee
    Hermes, sherkanner, TrippedOnReality and 3 others thanked this post.

  10. #1020

    gorgeous. scrum master, you may remember, is the guy with the shattered collarbone who just had it fixed.

    i arrive late at standup meeting today.

    cavernous dev lead: ... it's amazing. i spent part of the weekend watching russian freestyle wrestling
    others: mm hm.
    cdl: the speed, the power
    ginormous dev 2: they're not especially big either
    cdl: nooo. that's the point
    scrum master, 5'11", uber-athlete: see, that's the thing. if you have lean muscle mass . . .
    cdl: exactly. you see. strength! speed! just - explosive. a little guy can surprise you. a guy you wouldn't think could do anything, he can just cripple you
    scrum master: i know. like product guy here.
    product guy (6'2", possibly 140 pounds, congenital lazy eye, smug) yup.
    scrum master: yeah, lookit him. modest little smile, mild -
    product guy: guess he told you all about the shoulder, right?
    scrum master: *complete fabrication replay, pg keeps up the modest smile*
    me: this is such a guy conversation


     
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