[INTJ] Excerpts from everyday conversation - Page 388

Excerpts from everyday conversation

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This is a discussion on Excerpts from everyday conversation within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; INTP: *presses elevator button* Me: *waiting downstairs* *elevator goes up instead* INTP: Oh no. ...We got cucked. Me:...

  1. #3871

    INTP: *presses elevator button*
    Me: *waiting downstairs*
    *elevator goes up instead*
    INTP: Oh no. ...We got cucked.
    EyesOpen, brightflashes, Doccium and 1 others thanked this post.

  2. #3872

    today was so weird. it needs procedural subheadings.

    product owner emails colleague sometime just around lunch.
    p.o: there are doughnuts down here
    p.o: come on down and we'll discuss things with you.
    colleague forwards the email to me.
    me to self: oo doughnuts but i'm eating lunch
    colleague: you finish your lunch, maybe later we go.
    me to colleague: what's going ON with [feature dev just said he had changed a few hours ago]

    we agree that at some point, probably, we probably ought to go on down there for ass-kicking purposes if nothing else. but not until i've finished lunch. and not until we've made at least enough sense of the thing to know what we're griping about.

    usability person from other team now appears at my desk. she has my colleague in tow.
    u.p.: rise up and follow me. there are people down on floor x who want to give us chocolate.
    colleague: yes, is true. come down.
    me: who wants to give us chocolate?
    them: *people we used to share a floor with*
    me: why?

    i rise up and leave my chicken shawarma wrap like it's lazarus' tomb windings. we go downstairs to floor x and have a nice time hanging out with the data analytics guys, who we haven't seen since we all lived together on the same floor.

    come back upstairs bearing chocolate and i re-address myself to my chicken wrap. application still in a schroedinger state.
    me: what did he do to this thing?
    colleague: do you want to go down now to talk to them?
    me: yeah, lets. i want to know what's going on .

    once more i rise up from my chicken wrap and we go down, only now i'm giddy from all the chocolate and also loaded for bear. find product owner and dev in a room.

    p.o.: hi, come on in!
    dev: hi guys.
    me: yeah, we didn't come here to talk to you guys. where's the doughnuts.
    p.o.: there aren't any.
    me: you ate them. okay.
    colleague: you lied?
    p.o.: basically, colleague's right.
    me: weird.
    colleague: you lied to us?
    p.o.: yup.

    and then it gets weird. and yet, typical. the developer looks up from his laptop.

    dev: there's doughnuts
    colleague: oh suuuuure there are.
    dev: no, there's doughnuts.
    p.o.: no, see, i was just pretending there were.
    dev: there's doughnuts. remember po? we saw them.
    p.o.: oh yeah. that's right. i forgot.
    both of us: -.-
    me: i demand to see these doughnuts. i don't even want them, i just don't believe you people and i want to see them.
    dev: they're *vague and general directions.* out there

    we leave the room. search. return to these two.

    them: find them?
    us: no doughnuts. we don't believe in these doughnuts.
    p.o.: they're there.
    us: where? we need specs, damn it. and while we're on that topic -
    p.o.: there. you just go round the corner, and get them.
    me: you go get them.
    he does . comes back with two sad-looking somebody else's leftover doughnuts on a paper plate.
    p.o.: see? DOUGHNUTS.
    colleague: i don't like that kind.

    i had a laughing jag on the bus going home afterwards.

  3. #3873

    Me: I saw a really cool looking tree at the beach earlier today and wondered if you could tell me what kind it is?
    Turi: Yeah, sure, I just need to see it to be able to tell you.

    ::2 days later in the car::

    Me: *points* There, right there what is that called?
    Turi: Hmm? Oh. That's a tree.
    Green Girl, EyesOpen, Squirt and 1 others thanked this post.

  4. #3874

    Me: Everyone here is very friendly. We got stuck talking to some old guy on a park bench yesterday, he was explaining how he'd lived here since he was little.

    Turi: Yeah, they do that. They always want to tell you their story about how they used to walk their cow down to the ocean in the mornings. But they all tell the same story, it's like, why did you all have cows, and why did you all walk them every day?

    Me: Maybe it was the same cow? They just took turns?

    Turi: Or maybe I'm just bad at faces and they're actually all the same person.
    Green Girl, Napoleptic, EyesOpen and 3 others thanked this post.

  5. #3875

    my squishy programmer friend is the definition of just not knowing how awesome she is.

    me: *buttface update*
    her: sheezus. what is the matter with them? why can't they just spend their time abusing old people and going on family picnics or something?
    me: i just laughed rice all over my keyboard.
    her: oh good. i was worried.

    she makes these dark, terrible, hilarious jokes no one else makes (except my family) and then worries until i tell her no lilies were harmed.
    Green Girl, Napoleptic, sherkanner and 5 others thanked this post.

  6. #3876

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyAeroniel View Post
    I have a theory Rossini must have gotten super drunk while composing and just went along with ever he wrote when he sobered up.
    this is still making me laugh. as michael marra said 'scribbled down drunk but posted sober'.

    my sister is hunting for yoga venues.

    me: surely that isn't hard.
    her: except i don't want the wifty crystal-fondling namaste crap. i like the yoga that hurts.
    me: ha.
    her: *sends link* look at this.
    me: what am i looking at?
    her: that drawing. the woman sitting.
    me: it reminds me of rudyard kipling.
    her: wat?
    me: the hat. how the rhinoceros got his skin? 'more than oriental splendour.'
    her: i'm looking at the text now. 'communion and nourishment'. oh ffs.
    me: yabbut, you're in britain.
    her: oh right. how silly of me. 'how do you do. have a biscuit.'

    Green Girl, EyesOpen, LadyAeroniel and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #3877

    XNFP sister (most of the time when Iím around): ugh, youíre useless, look at you...all you know how to do is crochet and draw and other useless girly/ dumb nerdy stuff. Youíre so lame...
    (this is paraphrased)


    Sister: hey, can you please fix my horseís fly sheet...youíre the only one of us who knows how to sew...Iíll pay you

    My inner monologue: oh, now Iím useful...

    I did agree to do it because Iím a nice big sister and my mother doesnít know how to fix the mesh material for the fly sheet.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Negotiator thanked this post.

  8. #3878

    Me: Ok, you've put me in a situation, Turi, you said you'd get back to me after you did X and now you're two hours late.
    Turi: I didn't put you in any damn situation. You actually sent this message at the time that I usually leave.
    Me: Oh Weird. Please don't cuss at me. I must have been confused about the time [zones].
    Turi: I didn't cuss.
    Me "I didn't put you in any damn situation" is sorta like cussing, yeah?
    Turi: No, damn isn't a swear word here [Australia]
    Me: Ok. I'm sorry it is here [U.S.]. Please don't be angry with me. I should have double checked the time. Just don't cuss at me.
    Turi: I'm not "angry" I was more "wtf'd" by what (to me) was complete bullshit messages lol.
    hornpipe2 thanked this post.

  9. #3879

    Coworker: Good morning

    Me: *being dramatic like usual* I donít want to be here (I was forced onto the Saturday schedule against my will)

    Coworker: Well, good morning to you too...

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Green Girl, EyesOpen, brightflashes and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #3880

    my programmer friend, not enjoying her latest job:

    her: Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats! Mountain goats!

    me: something not going right?

    edit: not sure i should have done this, but her chat cracked me up.
    Green Girl, brightflashes and Squirt thanked this post.

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