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Excerpts from everyday conversation

[INTJ] 
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454K views 4K replies 524 participants last post by  Miharu 
#1 ·
On an almost daily basis I am confused (and amused) by certain conversations I have with others. I suspect I'm not alone. Please post examples (and the other person's MBTI) if you have them - if not the exact words then the general gist.

Here is one from today:


ISFJ: X's house was broken into yesterday and they stole her TV. I'm sure she'll want to move now, which is such a pity cause her house is so perfect.

Me: Does she have an alarm?

ISFJ: I don't think so. Plenty of people over there don't have them. I'm sure she'll end up moving.

Me: Or she could just get an alarm...

ISFJ: But she won't want to live there now that someone's broken in. Especially because she's elderly and alone.

Me: But she is no more or less likely to get broken into when she moves than she is now.

ISFJ: It's awful and she's older and has to live by herself. I'm sure she'll move.

Me: She'll still be living by herself if she moves...

ISFJ: I can't talk to you. Why are you so difficult to talk to?

:dry: :laughing: :ninja:
 
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#52 ·
>.> I get the impression that INTJs talking with ISFJs are having 2 different conversations that only seem to be about the same thing. But the context for each is completely different. You almost have to read between the lines to see the real meaning in the ISFJ side....and I think they in turn sometimes do read between the lines and find a alternate meaning in the INTJ side. :p
 
#55 ·
Boss: I need X completed by the end of the day.

Me: It isn't due for 5 more days, we are ahead of schedule, and there are other things that need attention.

Boss: I just want it done. And don't disrespect me.

Me: What is the point of having a due date if you are going to disregard it. I would have the thought it defines a maximum amount of
time something can take, perhaps on the off chance that there are other things that also need to be accomplished. In addition, I am not disrespecting you sir. I was merely pointing out a few facts that you may have missed.

Boss: I didn't miss anything. And that other stuff can wait.

Me: It will go past it's due date if we wait.

Boss: Then let it go past, I want X done today.

Me: I'm not staying late to complete Y. Considering I pointed it out today.

Boss: Whatever.

*Y becomes overdue, X doesn't exist anymore, and closing time comes*

Boss (to employees): I hope everyone has their coffee.

*sound of a door closing*



I happen to be an exceptional performer... and they really can't do without me. For now. I have lost a few jobs for this kind of thing. I told him I wasn't going to stay though, and why.
 
#56 ·
ENSP: I got a tattoo.
Me: Where?
ENSP: In City, State
Me: Huh?
ENSP: I think it was there, could have been Another City, Same State
Me: Well that's great
ENSP: You know what it was?
Me: I'm still trying to figure out where.
ENSP: Oh, you mean where on my body, my foot

Later with another person, who noticed she was wearing socks and shoes:

ENTJ: You shouldn't wear sock or closed shoes until the tat sets. When I got mine three years ago, the part covered by my shoe faded.
ENSP: Oh, mine's a real tattoo, not a temporary.
 
#58 ·
Other person 5:04 PM
Hi, Good afternoon buddy

me 5:04 PM
hello =]

Other person 5:04 PM
busy??

me 5:04 PM
not really

Other person 5:05 PM
okay!
anything new with you these days?

me 5:05 PM
nope , everything is the same
what about you?

Other person 5:06 PM
same here my friend
as usual
did you make any of your video??

me 5:07 PM
not yet
i made some of me playing a game
but no talking
my videos are here: cztanu - YouTube

Other person 5:08 PM
okay..... I just go through them.. dear if it doesn't take so much of your precious time, so, please can you shoot some more videos in which you are talking anythin you like to say.........
I want to hear you buddy

me 5:08 PM
howcome?

Other person 5:10 PM
howcome?? means
I didn't understand

me 5:10 PM
why do you want to see more videos?

Other person 5:11 PM
coz, I like to see and hear you buddy
I hope you don't mind and don't consider me wrong

me 5:11 PM
i am just curious

Other person 5:12 PM
ohh....... i like you my friend
but couldn't get courage to tell you .........

me 5:12 PM
you are sweet

Other person 5:13 PM
thanks buddy.....
but It's true that I like you by heart

me 5:13 PM
i believe you, but I live so far away

Other person 5:16 PM
I can understand , at least I can see you in videos or hear you......
I am not that beautiful or rich ,,
to stand by you
but...... my feelings are true for you buddy





what even
 
#60 ·
In a meeting to close on X item with 4 people on the call and 1 person in the room with me.

Me: So, we have to complete X today, so we can launch it on Monday. Some discussion on that.
Person in the room: Yes, let's do that. We should discontinue doing Y..followed by a long (illogical and faulty) explanation on the "reason"
Me:Let's take that offline, as we have to close on X
Person in the room: Ok..<offended face>
Me: some more discussion on X
Person in the room: I don't want to take Y offline, let's discuss it now. Let's take a poll with people on the call on discontinuing Y...whole bunch of other nonsense.
Me: Let me come back to you on Y. Let's close on X...ignore "person in the room" and her <offended expression>

Person in the room complains to my boss that I'm argumentative. BTW, person in the room is a level above my boss.
 
#65 ·
INTJ: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive do you consider yourself?

ENFP: 7.5, probably. Uhhh my face is asymetrical. the space in my teeth. scars on my back. and I'm not as defined as i'd like to be. and my nose is slightly crooked and it irks me.

INTP: Get someone to break it and then put it back normally.

ISTP: I could do it. I could punch you in the nose.
 
#3,840 ·
I'm so glad to have been introduced to this thread. I'm enjoying reading these posts. Particularly this one:

INTJ: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive do you consider yourself?

ENFP: 7.5, probably. Uhhh my face is asymetrical. the space in my teeth. scars on my back. and I'm not as defined as i'd like to be. and my nose is slightly crooked and it irks me.

INTP: Get someone to break it and then put it back normally.

ISTP: I could do it. I could punch you in the nose.
Those last two lines are one of the most stereotypical-to-MBTI interactions I've ever seen. In fact, embarrassingly enough I think I've actually made that particular crooked-nose-fix suggestion to someone before. And if my ISTP brother had been present, I don't doubt for a moment that's what his response would have been. :laughing:

For the first time I think I can see the perspective of someone giving an INTP one of those sideways WTF, does he even realize what he just said looks. Earnestly offering a suggestion that would successfully solve the problem but that no sane normal person would actually choose to do is something I can easily see coming out of the mouth of just about every single INTP I know.

I certainly now have a better understanding of the utterly baffled expressions on my former ESFJ boss's face when my coworker and I would get excited with a particular train of thought and completely derail the conversation into INTP-land. :tongue:
 
#66 ·
Person I could or not know who I'm not interested in talking to: Hi! How are you?
Me: Fine.
Person I could know or not know who I'm not interested in talking to: Me too
Me: That's good..
....

INTJ Friend: Hello
Me: Hello, how are you?
INTJ F: Fine, hey- do you know Hitler's love story?
<40 minutes later>
INTJ F: I want this to be written on my tombstone:
"I died and all I got was this lousy tombstone."
"User was banned"
"Respawn in 5...4...3...2..."
"You know when they tell you not to try this at home?"
"Suck it"
"The person you have reached is currently out of service."
Me: lol
"Please come back in three days"
INTJ F: /life
 
#68 ·
There's an ISFJ girl back at school that has liked me for way too long. I've tried to be INCREDIBLY straightforward with her telling her that I didn't like her any more than a friend. Yet, I think in her mind, it COULD still happen.

Point is, we have conversations like this one ALL THE TIME hahahaha.
 
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#69 ·
Conversation with ESFJ aunt:

Me: I download movies, save them on my external hard drive, then delete them on my computer. If anyone calls me all suspicious, I'll just say "yeah, I felt like it was wrong, so I deleted from my computer right away, I didn't even watch it."

Aunt: (Dramatic gasp) But yannibos, that is illegal! You can go to jail for a very long time. Oh my gosh you're so unethical!

Me: If you're stupid about it, you might get caught, but I'm pretty sure you're more likely to win the lottery.

Aunt: Yannibos, you should really consider taking a class in ethics. I think it'll do you good.

She's a teacher.
 
#70 ·
(Talking to my ISTJ dad)

Me: Everyone has Marx all wrong. He doesn't necessarily say communism is the way to go, but rather that we are heading in that direction. After capitalism comes socialism. I personally think we'd be better off that way, anyway.

My dad: OK, but you see China and Russia? The people lived like hell there.

Me: That wasn't the type of communism Marx speaks of. We live in a country where we are all prostitutes, and the constant pursuit of money and taking advantage of people is everywhere, but the up and ups (the bourgeois) make it seem like we can become one of them (I'm getting rather ranty now). Then, right when you're about to get to that level, they move it up again. It's wrong, and people are like whorish sheep, blindly following what their pimps tell them to do.

Dad: My son, you have so much to learn about the world.

Me: Dad, I don't expect you to understand. Nobody does. That's why the system is always going to be like this. "Working class unite, all you have to lose are your chains." Sound familiar?

Younger ESTP brother: (Laughing and clearly not understanding at all) You should just become a monk then. You should want to get as much money as you can. That's how you put food on the table.

Me: Hahaha OK, Chris.
 
#520 ·
i hope you don't mind me bring amused at your expense, but an intj with an estp younger brother and an istj dad to top it off is a pretty funny combo, i would love to just hear the kinda conversations you guys have :L
 
#71 ·
Another of the conversations I have with my mum via text.

Mum: (waiting for a train) The platform's really crowded.
Me: Do you still have the bathroom scales in your bag?
Mum: Yes.
Me: You can use them to deal out divine justice.
Mum: Oh yes, will do.

Later.

Me: Did you hit anyone with the scales?
Mum: No, will do at *home town*
Me: It will be splendid.

This came after the very sarcastic conversation about buying Barbados or the moon with a £2.50 Tesco voucher.

Forgot to add my favourite recent conversation with my sister. It happened when we were reading Japanese books together, and I was helping her with some kanji.

Sister: So, it's the 11th month.
Me: Which is the 11th month?
Sister: ... September.

(What made it funnier is my sister's really smart, so it was completely unexpected.)
 
#72 ·
This conversation occurred between me(INTJ) and two of my coworkers(INTJ and probably ISFP) while discussing food preferences.

Me: Oh, I really like cottage cheese.
INTJ: I don't really like cottage cheese.
Me: Oh? Why not? Texture?
INTJ: Yeah, I don't really like the texture.
Me: Yeah, I can understand that, I don't really like tapioca pudding for that reason. But I do like cottage cheese, despite the texture.
INTJ: Yeah, I don't like cottage cheese.
ISFP: Wow, INTJ, you really slammed her for liking cottage cheese.
Me and INTJ: <surprised look> ....
Me: What?
ISFP: Well, she said she doesn't like cottage cheese, and I didn't want to tell you this because I felt bad because she already said she didn't like cottage cheese, but I'm with INTJ, I don't like cottage cheese either.
Me and INTJ: <exchange glance and burst out laughing>
ISFP: ? :(
Me: Wait, you thought we were fighting about cottage cheese?
ISFP: You weren't?
Me: I don't think we were fighting about cottage cheese.
INTJ: Me either, we were just discussing differences.
ISFP: ...
 
#73 ·
Me and my friend I met at a training for a long established and successful mentoring charity training thing.

Him - I'm setting up this bullying awareness charity thats going to put young people in touch with services that can help them, it's going to be AMAZING
Me - Whats different about it?
Him - It sets people up with services
Me - -_- google?
Him - There isn't anything like this
Me - why would people use you when theres google and established charities?
Him - Because we can put them in contact with services that can help them

(when i got bored of that we progressed to this)

Me - How will young people know about you to use you?
Him - I dunno... google?
me - o_O And how are you going to fund it?
Him - I'm selling stuff on ebay
Me - Made much money?
Him - Only a tenner so far but I have loads of old CD's to cell

And this went on until i just told him to go away. Seriously. I WANT TO KILL SOMEBODY. NOW.
 
#75 ·
INTJ: *sends an ecard that reads 'Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing'*
INFJ: SCHMETTERLING!
INTJ: SCHLIEßFACH!
/conversation
 
#77 ·
Me: Wow, that project of yours sounds like a nightmare
Other tester: Oh, it's horrible
Me: Yeah, I've been listening in on these confabs of yours for a while. It sounds bad.
Sidekick: It's just awful.
Me: It's some kind of conversion/port, right?
OT and sidekick: ...

And then:
OT: No, really, it's more like a growth.
 
#78 ·
Me: Dude! Nicola Tesla always had huge scalability problems, he's nothing but an overrated poster child for the circle jerk of libertarian college students. The thing is, his electromagnetic fantasies are practically infeasible. That's why you can't compare Edwin Howard Armstrong with Nicola Tesla.
ENFJ: Well, you've got a point there.
Me: I didn't mean that you are completely wrong for sure. I'm just trying to explain that I'm not disagree with you anyway.
ENFJ: I know, that's why I didn't interrupt you.
Me: So, where's my ice cream?
ENFJ: Are you serious? It was a joke! I can't believe that you think I was serious.
Me: Treachery!
ENFJ: Alright! What do you want? Chocolate?
Me: Vanilla please!
ENFJ: Vanilla? Heh, you never surprize me.
Me: What does that mean?
ENFJ: Never mind.
ME: You know I can't!
 
#79 ·
Let's keep this thread going; I like it.
 
#81 ·
Needs more ISFJs....


[ENFP went in this weird charity where she had to stay up for 24 hours or something...]

Me: How much money did you raise? My nan was part of a charity thing, 8 old ladies raised less that 20 dollars. The accountant in me was horrified.

ENFP: We did better than that! We raised about 60 dollars, and any effort is a good effort so you should be proud of your nan.

Me: Why don't you just work for four hours, get $60 and donate that to charity, and spend the remaining 20 hours at a soup kitchen thing? You'd be donating the same amount of money that your group did, and doing 20 hours of work that won't just indirectly benefit people. And you'd be able to work at your leisure, meaning you'd likely have no discouragement from working there often. Humanists make good people, not good business people.

ENFP: I'm too tired to talk. We'll rain check. Talk soon :) night night xx
 
#80 ·
You saved me hunting for it. Last week I got into the (crowded) elevator with this exuberant Irish woman. Ewww, she says, smells like beer in here. It's Monday, 9 am. I mumble something about how it's probably hand sanitizer or something.

'Or lithium' she says. 'Could be lithium. You come up next to some of those poor devils who have to take it and you think eeee what an alkie, but really it's just the lithium.'


*blink*
 
#82 ·
ESFJ explaining to me why he's mad at his ENFJ bro:

ESFJ: dude I hate *bro*, he crashed my car on purpose. I let him borrow my car and drive it to the store, so he goes out and crashes it. All because of him I have no car, and insurance isn't giving me jack.

Me: You gave him your keys and let him drive the car though, and it wasn't his fault. He got hit by a guy who ran a red-light, then the guy ran off.

ESFJ: No... you are wrong, he wrecked my car. Now the only car I can get is some shitty piece of crap.

Me: If he wrecked your car you wouldn't be getting any money from your insurance.

ESFJ: *bro* was driving the car and got in the wreck (reexplaining story). He can't drive, he's always getting in accidents and getting tickets.

Me: but you gave him the keys... to your car... isn't it your fault for giving him the car if you knew that?

ESFJ: No, I'm a way better driver! I don't get in any car accidents, and I have no tickets.

Me: and because of all that its his fault some guy hit him? and you're getting the money for that?

ESFJ: YOUR WRONG, ITS HIS FAULT. gets frustrated and doesn't talk to me for the next few days.
 
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