Hi everyone. First of all, I'm new here and an INTP (as you can see in my name) so let me provide you a brief introduction.
I'm a gay/bisexual (whatever lol) 26 year old man, fairly attractive, well educated, not too socially awkward and generally considered a very nice guy with a good aura (so I've been told anyway). I first learnt about personality theory about 3-4 years ago near the end of my 'great depression' as I like to call it and was floored by the accuracy of the INTP description, it was mind blowing actually, since I often wondered what was wrong with me and why my thoughts were so...'unique' lol. Overall, I believe it helped me mature at a much faster rate had I not discovered it. So anyway...onto my story.
I met a guy online (call him Chris) about 4-5 years ago, who attended my university (different degrees though) and we got along fairly well; at best I would have called us acquaintances at the time. I did find him a bit off putting at times but nothing to affect our relationship in any significant way. After a couple years we decided to meet and since then we went out a few times as platonic friends. Being around him and talking to him on the phone, I found my interest piquing more and more, however, his quirky ways and the long periods of little to no contact between us kept me at bay. I'm typically really good at reading people especially people that I know well but I could not for the life of me interpret what was going on his head. I figured that he did have some interest in me as well but nothing ever came out of it and we both had our share of failed relationships over the years. Near the end of each of my relationships I would always feel a strong desire to be with Chris but I always ignored it. He also began to frequently hint at his desire to be with me, sometimes out right stating it but I didn't take him seriously due to it often being so random and his lack of expression and inability to flirt (lol) was confusing to me.
About 2.5 years ago I got burnt out from the drama with my ex and vowed to myself to not go into another relationship if it wasn't with Chris (at that point we were talking more frequently and the spark was clearly there). I decided to finally tell him how I felt about him, we gave dating a try and soon after we became official. It was easily the most intense (both ups and downs) relationship as we got along so well and so easily. We spoke on the phone every night (which I generally hate) and I found myself becoming obsessed with him as my attraction became so strong (I didn't let it affect us though) so quickly. As we got further along in the relationship however, his lack of affection started to get to me and we discussed it after I got upset about it one night. He basically said that that was just how he was and how it didn't mean anything. Some time after I told him explicitly how I felt about him and that I loved him (I think my INTP wires got fried at some point in our relationship lol) and that I needed to get it off my chest. I didn't expect him to say it back and was fine with that however he did some days after, very randomly too. Needless to say, it did make me incredibly glad that he did (I apologize for the length of this story so far).
Fast forward about 6 months into the relationship, I had the feeling that something was off for the first time and decided to check his phone one night only to find incriminating photos (I had no intention of going further than that at the time). This led me to check his messages where he admitted in his first conversation that he cheated (by kissing, no sex) and his intention was to break up with me. He even tried to hook up with the guy with whom he had the conversation but for whatever reason the guy didn't answer his phone when the time came. I asked him if he had ever cheated on me the next morning (he slept by me overnight) and he denied it until I recalled his entire conversation to him after which his response was that since I already knew he had no need to explain any further (disrespectful much?). Simply shocked at Chris' response, the only thing I could do was stay silent. I dropped him off at the usual spot and went to class without saying another word. A few hours after I believe the reality of the situation set in and he attempted to apologize but I ignored him...for about three days. He seemed somewhat frantic at losing our relationship and continued to apologize, told me that I was the most perfect guy for him. I was skeptical naturally, but more so deeply hurt to the point of tears. Anyway, we did work on repairing our relationship for the next few weeks when he suddenly decided that he didn't want to be gay anymore and couldn't accept himself. Again, I was incredibly hurt but we did agree to be friends. After one too many insensitive acts by Chris, I could not deal with it anymore and told him on his birthday (we were heading out to eat with friends) that we would no longer remain in communication. I could have seen the shock and sadness in his face but the pain was just unreal and I could not take it anymore. I cut him off completely and he continued to beg for us to remain friends, always telling me how special I was to him. After some time he stopped and I found out that he now had a girlfriend.
Up to today, two years later, we spoke very rarely (all him initiating, usually asking us to go back to being friends) but I was always very curt and sometimes flat out mean to him even though deep down I wished things were different. Not a single day has gone by where I didn't think of him or what happened between us (I've accepted that and consider it part of routine daily life now). Recently, to my surprise, I received a message from him asking me if I'd ever be willing to take him back. He told me how many changes and experiences he has had in life since our break up and that he was now comfortable with himself and ready to be with me. He kept reiterating that I was the perfect guy for him and he doesn't see it making sense searching elsewhere. My question is this, why after all this time would he just come back into my life like that with such grand intentions? I can't shake the feeling that it is just him being selfish and self centered again. Why would he just come back and try to undo all the hard work I put into forgetting him (unsuccessfully)? I'm not even single at the moment but I won't lie, I'm so confused right now. While I do consider him a soul-mate for lack of a better term, I can't help but wonder if to continue to cut my losses for good. Any advice? I can't go to my friends about how I really feel about this situation so that's why I'm here.
Again, sorry for the giant wall of text. TLDR - INTP (me) fell in love with INTJ, he broke my heart, I cut him off completely, he continuously begged for me to stay in his life as a friend, I refused to for two years now, he out of nowhere asks me to now consider going back into a relationship with him, me = ???