[INTJ] Guides to mastering human interaction? Fellows got any? - Page 3

Guides to mastering human interaction? Fellows got any?

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This is a discussion on Guides to mastering human interaction? Fellows got any? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Kaboomz treat everyone with respect and without expectation. Without expectations, what provides the motivation to bother with ...

  1. #21

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaboomz View Post
    treat everyone with respect and without expectation.
    Without expectations, what provides the motivation to bother with anyone in the first place?

  2. #22

    Quote Originally Posted by bentHnau View Post
    Without expectations, what provides the motivation to bother with anyone in the first place?
    it's irrelevant. there's nearly 8 billion people in the world. whether you're bothered or not, you're surrounded

  3. #23

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaboomz View Post
    the best advice i have is treat everyone with respect and without expectation. nobody owes you a thing and if you take this personally, you're not going to get very far unless you're a delusional narcissist
    Quote Originally Posted by bentHnau View Post
    Without expectations, what provides the motivation to bother with anyone in the first place?
    I've been contemplating expectations in social context for years, and I have also come to the same conclusion that the fewer the expectations the better it is in several regards. First you avoid unnecessary conflict, then you also enter the social realm both more open and stronger in the sense that you cannot be disappointed if you have no expectations. The most enjoyable socialization in my opinion is when I regard it as an experience, and allow the subject of the interaction to engage with all my functions without weighing it down with prerequisites and conditions. Realize that we're all flawed, we all want mostly the same fundamental things and we disagree on how to get them. I think if you enter an interaction with this attitude you will leave it with nothing but new information, new insights, a potential new friend, and interaction bar in the green (unless you walk all over their expectations to you, which is likely).
    Kaboomz thanked this post.

  4. #24
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    The best and purest path to connection is having a shared interest to talk about. The more passionate the better.

    I think it is safe to say most people have interjected themselves into someone else's conversation regarding something they like and have been interjected themselves. In the end you at least become acquaintances. A mutual interest is great because it provides both people with a topic to fall to as they steadily share personal details. The main obstacle then becomes making the first move, strive to be the initiator.

    It would seem there are quite a lot of people that dislike being the initiator even though it only lasts a moment. People are worried about how they will be perceived by new people, as such people are more internally critical of themselves in first time interactions. We are less focused and harsh on any minor awkwardness from the person we are engaged with. Initiation comes with an ultimately silly but hard to shake off anxiety.

    Having difficulty figuring out the interests of others? If you are in a school join a club: Anime, Video Games, Debate, etc. The shared interest is now obvious! Magic! Now simply muster the courage to chat up someone that seems interesting to you. If you struggle with introversion aim to grab yourself a charismatic extrovert such as an ENFJ. ENFJ's tend to be regular aficionados when it comes to their interests, and are generally happy to be engaged by others. My professional INTJ evaluation of ENFJs: excellent communicators with whom I consistently experience quick chemistry.

  5. #25

    I pretend / act as if I am someone who is very socially skilled and enjoys meeting new people. Approaching it as a game of acting, to get a certain reaction from someone, allows me to bypass social anxieties and really engage people. At some point, one must be real, but this is good to break the ice and give a strong first impression. It helps enormously with self-confidence.


     
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