Why is this not stickied yet?
*grabs popcorn and sits down in his favorite chair*
INTJ (me), ISTJ (infamous sis), ESTP (infamous friend/former roommate), all at lunch:
Me: yeah we'll just have to figure out how to split her up. (Sis is broke so ESTP and I need to pay for her tab)
ISTJ: Who wants the top half, who wants the bottom?
ESTP: *semi-pervvy tone* I want the bottom half!
Me: That works out nicely.
ISTJ: I DONT WANT ESTP TO HAVE MY BOTTOM HALF!! *scared*
ESTP: I don't need all the back talk. I'll just have the bottom half and get business done!!!
back story: the artsie had a few years where he found himself and a female sidekick teaching 'Family Life', which is the early-high course in which the government mandates kids should learn All About Sex. I'll spare you his summary of the formal curriculum, but here's his own self-declared 'only time I was at an absolute, irretrievable loss' from that time.
They had this question-time convention, where kids would put anything they wanted to know in a hat, and the two of them would stand at the front of the class and play tag-team at answering So here we go:
Question: How do guys deal with this clothes thing with their junk hanging down like it does?
Sidekick: Well, see, when they're getting pants made, the tailor will ask which side it hangs on and then build that leg of the pants slightly wider to accommodate them.
Artsie (to whom this idea is as preposterous as it is revelatory): *Thinks*: You have got to be kidding me.
Sidekick: Every guy's equipment hangs to one side or the other, you see.
Artsie: *recovers from boggle, begins to giggle*
Sidekick: So, Mr A - which leg is wider?
He told me he had no idea. And the rest of that year he was dealing with rooms full of little Grade 9's all silently eyeing his crotch, trying to diagnose which side he packs the junk on.
Haaaaaahahahhaha that one killed me @lilysocks
At breakfast this morning:
ENTP: *cranes neck over my shoulder to peer into quiche* Bacon? I'm still trying to figure out what other people's idea of quiche lorraine is.
Me: I'm not sure but I think quiche lorraine has ham, not bacon, but I'm not complaining because I love bacon.
INFP: I thought it was spinach, but it could be ham too. If only there was a place we could ask these questions.
ENTP: Yes, a place full of information.
INFP: Information that would be at our finger tips.
INTJ: Someone should go to the library and look it up in the encyclopedia.
ENTP: Someone should invent that. Maybe a vice president.
Me: Or a former vice president. Maybe Al Gore, he seems to be concerned with saving the world. He could make it happen.
Note: Upon further investigation quiche lorraine does in fact contain bacon.
[At a grocery store which is still fairly new to me; just walked into the baking aisle and saw a woman jumping up and down trying to grab something on the highest shelf but not succeeding.]
Woman (muttering/jumping): Why isn't there anyone around to help me?
Me (quick look around while still 10 feet away; sees a lone yellow box sandwiched between two large cardboard boxes on the high shelf; deduces that was the woman's aim): That can't be the only cornstarch.
Woman: Well, where are they? I don't see any others unless I'm going blind.
Me (walks closer and wordlessly points at a shelf that was one below waist level stocked full of the same yellow boxes of cornstarch)
Woman (sees the cornstarch and grabs one): Thanks!
Me (on the inside :dry:): Sure.
Actually, my facial expression was as deadpan as could be because I was trying not to physically laugh out loud at her. Going blind indeed.