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Excerpts from everyday conversation

[INTJ] 
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intj
454K views 4K replies 524 participants last post by  Miharu 
#1 ·
On an almost daily basis I am confused (and amused) by certain conversations I have with others. I suspect I'm not alone. Please post examples (and the other person's MBTI) if you have them - if not the exact words then the general gist.

Here is one from today:


ISFJ: X's house was broken into yesterday and they stole her TV. I'm sure she'll want to move now, which is such a pity cause her house is so perfect.

Me: Does she have an alarm?

ISFJ: I don't think so. Plenty of people over there don't have them. I'm sure she'll end up moving.

Me: Or she could just get an alarm...

ISFJ: But she won't want to live there now that someone's broken in. Especially because she's elderly and alone.

Me: But she is no more or less likely to get broken into when she moves than she is now.

ISFJ: It's awful and she's older and has to live by herself. I'm sure she'll move.

Me: She'll still be living by herself if she moves...

ISFJ: I can't talk to you. Why are you so difficult to talk to?

:dry: :laughing: :ninja:
 
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#1,996 ·
INFJ: Part of me thinks you should just be able to reason with them and it will work: It's bad for you; just don't do heroin, ok?

INTJ: That's nuts.

INFJ: Yeah, I know it doesn't really work, but it seems like it should.
 
#1,997 ·
ESFJ: So, I was out with my friend. Did you notice?:kitteh:
Me: Hummm, what?
ESFJ: Did you notice I wasn't at home?
Me: Not really.
ESFJ: So, you thought I was here all time?
Me: I didn't think of it. I don't know if you were here or not...I am always in my room, so, I don't know.
ESFJ: So, basically I could be dying here and you won't notice.
Me: Well, you can always scream and let me know.
ESFJ: :dry:
 
#1,998 ·
Discussion with friend that I've mentioned before as ISTP, but is likely actually likely INFJ.

INFJ (her): I want candy.
INTJ (me): Get in my van.
INFJ: honestly, I'm surprised I'm not obese and kidnapped. Like, give me food and I'll trust anyone.
INTJ: Are you a cat?
INFJ: I'm one of those skittish cats who hide under beds.
-ISFP friend pops up-
ISFP: I detest you (in reference to saying she's a skittish cat)
ISFP: Why can't you be a real cat and bump on my leg?
INFJ: Because you'd get off on that
 
#1,999 ·
*in the dressing room after the performance in which I was involved*
Me: "It's hot in here and I have to stay for awhile. Damn it." *tries to think of something*
ENTP friend: "You really have a sexy back."
ISTP friend: "Yeah!"
Me: *looks at them blankly*
ISTP friend: "You don't even know how to respond." *laughs*
Me: "Mm... I was just thinking of how to stay without... Never mind."

I didn't even say thanks after all. Why is it always hard to take compliments? It makes me either skeptical or awkward.
 
#2,001 ·
My math teacher doesn't quite like me much because I tend to poke holes in his (loose) logic about things...


Teacher: I bought this new ladder! It's great, it's so nice! I use it to clean my gutters, I've had to rent one every year for about $75 each time, but I finally broke down and bought one!!!
Me: Why didn't you just buy it in the first place, if you were going to use it every year?
Teacher: Well, they're like $500!
Me: How long have you been renting one?
Teacher: For about eight years.
Me: Then you've essentially bought it twice.


...he didn't bother telling the next class about his exciting new purchase.
 
#2,002 ·
Discussing this image.

INTJ: The premise is wrong because no study doesn't necessarily equal failure.
INTP: Why is that so? It's clearly stated as such in this case.
INTJ: Computer = $500
Monthly rent = $500
Therefore computer = monthly rent?
NO.
INTP: it's not the same thing
studying is not an object
nor is failure
in this case they're variables defined as inversely related
INTJ: because the "=" means equal. It is not meant to symbolize the exchange of activities.
INTP: hold on, if you have an exam and you know that not studying will equal failure, then it that case you can say that no study = failure, therefore study = no failure since in that case you're aware that not studying will lead you to sure failure (because it might be a highly specific test or a mnemonic exercise in a class you didn't attend)
INTJ: But they're not mathematical values
INTP: It's applying mathematical properties to theoretical statements.
(10 minutes later)
*INTJ sighs and posts a facebook video*
 
#2,008 ·
me at gas station across the street from new worksite, tired. buying precisely one pack of gum.

cashier: are you buying any gas today?
me: no, just the gum.
cashier: and are you getting our esso luxury car wash today?
me: no, just the gum.
cashier: well, would you like to?
me: :dry: i came here on a bike. no.
cashier: and do you have an esso extra points card?
me: no.
cashier: would you like to get one?
me: no, just the gum.
cashier: how about some coffee candy doughnuts chips pretzels toothpaste . . .
me: :'| stop selling me stuff.


me, 2 minutes later: i understand that they make you do it, but if you have a comment card handy i'll use it. i'd be really happy to tell them exactly what i think of them for forcing you guys into this perpetual nagging at us.

**i don't mind naming the fucking chain, for a change**
 
#2,012 ·
A great example of a very controversial conversation topic being discussed in depth. =)

INTJ friend: What is your opinion on the whole gamergate thing?
Me (INTP): People on all sides are being idiots again, quite typical.
INTJ friend: I agree, shitstorm in a teapot.
Me (INTP): Counter Strike 1,6?
INTJ friend: Definitely
 
#2,013 ·
*chatting with an INTJ friend on messenger*

Him: "dyeats"
Me: "Yea"
Him: "So..."
Me: "I suddenly got a bad feeling."
Him: "blablabla..."
Me: *keeps reading*
Him: *after explains what is happening* "...and everyone whom I chat with always got a bad feeling whenever I chat them first."
Me: "Hahaha you're just being you. Can't blame."
 
#2,014 ·
Out on the balcony with bf last night chit chatting about nothing.

Me: Oh by the way. I'm going to the GP tomorrow in my lunch break. Won't be able to stop by and drop off your lunch. Sorry
BF: Hmm.. yeah sure. Why are you going to the GP again?
Me: Getting my knees checked out and also picking up the last script for my birth control.
BF: Last?
Me: Yeah. Last.
BF: Hm. Ok *nods and proceeds reading*
Me: *stares* so... no immediate heart attack? No need for an ambulance? any shortness of breath?
BF: nope. no heart attack.
Me:......

Is that a 'yes' in ISFJ language?
 
#2,015 ·
Conversations with my overly-attached mother tend to be like so:

Mom (ENFJ): Hi
Did you get the package I sent?
Me: Yep.
Mom: Is that all you can say for yourself? I thought they were quite cute and thoughtful?
Me: They were.

--

Mom: About how much should I spend on Katherine's family for a Christmas gift?
Me: No idea, but spelling her name right would be a great start.

--
Mom: Fruit doesn't fall far from the tree!
Me: Unless you're fruit from a tree from outer space.
Mom: That means you are too by genetics!
Me: No. I was adopted.
--
 
#2,016 ·
With my coworker over IM.

INFP: <asks random question>

Me: <responds>

INFP: I can't judge your tone in text.

Me: I know...it's awesome...

INFP: Nope, still can't.

Me: There are some people who can't judge my tone in person. :wink:

INFP: Oh, no. I know better.

Me: I know. :laughing:


Two days later...

INFP: I still can't judge your tone in text...

Me: <snickers>
 
#2,018 ·
My ESOL kids had to write a dialogue for another student to turn into indirect speech.
African INTP kid (13-14 y/o) wrote a conversation between an employer and employee.

Me: INTP, can you read yours out?
INTP: "(......) 'Why didn't you just fire me?' - 'Because I'd have to pay you a severance package and I don't want that.'"
German EXTJ kid: What's a severance package?
Me: It means the boss has to give him money if he fires him. INTP, where did you come across that?!?! :shocked:
INTP: It was on the TV. :|
German EXTJ: I wouldn't even know what that means if I heard it on the TV.
Me: If you are a great philosopher like INTP you'll just sit there and think about it until you've figured it out. Isn't that so, INTP?
INTP: :|
 
#2,019 ·
African INTP kid was in a Science lesson and they were doing revision on laptops. The teacher said they should share a laptop between two kids, but of course they all hogged one each.

Teacher: INTP, can you share that laptop with Joe?
INTP: She's only saying that because I'm the only black one. *tiny troll face*
Me: Heheh, no INTP, she's saying that because you're the only silly one.
INTP: :)
 
#2,020 ·
Hanging with my ISFJ and ExFJ besties, right after ISFJ broke up with her boyfriend, and she feels terrible about it.


ISFJ: *sniff* *tears* I really tried not to hurt him, but I think I did.
ExFJ: *hugs* It will be all right. He'll get over it. You'll get over it.
Me: *sitting on the floor awkwardly and not knowing what to do to comfort her*
ISFJ: *still crying* I--I just need to--let him go...
Me: (thinking) OH NO, SHE SAID IT, DON'T SING IT DON'T SING IT DON'T SING IT
Me: *bursts into song* LET HIM GOOOOOOOOOO, LET HIM GOOOOOOOOO, DON'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMOOOOOOOOOORE!!! (etc.)
ISFJ: *stops crying*
ExFJ::shocked:
ISFJ: You know, if it was anybody else who did that, I would have slapped you. But you are the least romantic person I know, so I guess it's ok.
 
#2,022 ·
Me: I need to just order mum's phone for Christmas.
Sis: *while writing up stuff about chicken embryo development* Oh yeah.... I need to order.... a brain (meaning to say 'book').
Me: .... Yeah. You do.
Sis: *covers face*
 
#2,025 ·
Since we're getting close to Christmas, I remembered this gem of a letter that I wrote in high school for English class seven years ago. The assignment was to write a persuasive letter to Santa Claus explaining exactly why he should give us the presents we asked for. Of course, I didn't believe in Santa Claus, so I thought the assignment was stupid and pointless. My mom challenged me to just have fun with it. While my classmates wrote letters asking "for an iPod so I won't bother my parents", I wrote the following (note: I was [and still am] a Star Wars fanatic, so Harrison Ford was my celebrity crush at the time):

***

Dear Sir:

Since I have never written you before, this may not be your typical “Dear Santa”. I would like to discuss with you the matter of what I want for Christmas. First off, I am not a snotty-nose six-year-old asking for something stupid like a bee bee gun or a Red Flyer wagon. I am a delightful, fifteen-year-old, altruistic young lady. If I don’t get what I want on this list, I am apt to sue.
Enclosed is a 300-page alphabetized list of my Christmas wishes for this year. If your workforce is unable to get it done in time, here are a few of the most important items: a black Yamaha grand piano, a date with the cutest guy on the Willamette Valley basketball team (#31), an instantaneous college education, a leather jacket with matching sunglasses, and a full-size Harrison Ford poster.
Out of the kindness of my heart and considering your workload, I will give you reasons why I want these five items in particular. I want the piano because it would look great in our living room and everyone would think we’re loaded (if you think that you would have a problem getting it in through the chimney, feel free to send it via FedEx). You should know why I want a date with the cute guy because you’re always supposed to be watching us “to see if we’re naughty or nice” anyway. I want an instant college education that can be acquired within two minutes. When this is accomplished, I will go on Jeopardy and win millions of dollars like Ken Jennings. When I get that rich, people would try to kidnap me for ransom. Of course, this problem can be solved by a disguise, and that’s where the leather jacket and sunglasses come in. They make you look like a CIA agent, then nobody will bother you; and besides, they’re cool-looking.
My last request is kind of tricky to explain, but look at it this way. I come home from school with all its stress, cares, and worry. I look at my bedroom wall – and there HE is – instant stress relief, better and less fattening than chocolate.
Remember, if I do not get all of the above for Christmas, not only will I sue, but I will systematically, using the principal's hunting bow, proceed to slay your sleigh reindeer in the order that they are mentioned in the classic poem, “T’was the Night Before Christmas”. Rudolph will not be spared in this homicidal endeavor.

Merry Christmas to all,
DragonWriter

***

My INTJ tendencies started early :cool:
 
#2,027 ·
ESFJ best friend, ISTJ husband and me were window-shopping and had a look around a gift/novelty shop.

Me: LOOK! A Star Trek TOS lunchbox! I want it!
ISTJ: *grumpy face*
Me: What? Is it too kitschy?
ISTJ: Yes.
Me: My little TOS lunchbox!
ISTJ: What kind of gun is that?
Me: It's some kind of phaser rifle, but they never use it in any of the episodes only in merchandise pictures.
Me to ESFJ: What do you think?
ESFJ: If you like it. :) :) :)
Me: It is too kitschy.
ESFJ: Hehehehe. :) :) :)
 
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