The five INTP subtypes
It has come to my attention and that of my esteemed colleagues that there are various subtypes of the MBTI INTP type. Following is a breakdown:
1) Liberal Loser:
This INTP subtype tends to let an overwhelming sense of social injustice often due to their inability to control their immature feelings cloud their logic. Too much weed, or not enough, smoked at the peace rallies they attend with their overwhelmingly illogical SP soul mates typically add to the feelings of social injustice. They tend to rationalize everything around them in black and whites and gross generalities, by spouting off cliches and urban myths as fact. They are the classic pseudo intellectual, who look for social injustices in the way that INTPs are generally thought to look for facts, and are always ready to spout off why something is bad or wrong based upon one of their illogical findings, which they consider "conventional wisdom" or "common sense". Unfortunately, as an INTP, they don't actually do anything about it, just complain about it on groups such as the INTPopen.
2) Golden Boy (or girl):
This INTP subtype is as rare to see as a baby pigeon, as they tend to be physics professors, philosophy professors, professional programmers for prestigious universities or international companies, or as government analysts for the CIA and NSA. They are rarely seen, but when they are, it is typically due to personal issues that they need to whine about on internet lists, such as "my wife is a crazy bitch" or "I have no friends, I want someone to love me". They tend to be blind to the plight of their lesser INTP brethren because they have been given a golden spoon, accelerated classes in grade school, honors classes in high school, and full scholarships to MIT and Princeton. They tend to be very strange, as they are successful enough to not know or care how to bathe or take care of themselves, and tend to dress very poorly, and are incapable of brushing their hair. They tend to marry the first woman who lays them in their late 20's or early 30's, but eventually end up with their wives cheating on them with their more "normal" colleagues in the Business Administration department, but never tend to notice anyway, because they are too busy and engrossed in their esoteric work for any human activities.
3) Classic Nerds:
Similar to golden boys without the golden spoons, they tend to be intelligent, yet utterly incapable of holding a jargon free conversation. Most normal humans are incapable of communication with them outside of topics such as Star Trek, role-playing games, or the latest Matrix movie. To most, they appear asexual (and tend to BE asexual). They tend to get low level programming jobs, teach computer science at the local community college, or unemployed creating annoying email viruses while living in their parent's basement in a rat-hole filled with moldy pizza and empty potato chip bags. If they find a woman at all, it tends to be in their late 20's to mid 30's, when they realize that the odd human mating rituals involve things such as bathing and clean laundry, however, fortunately, they tend to attract others of the same subtype for mating – greasy overweight slobs, or Auschwitz- skinny freaks with coke bottle glasses, and can easily be spotted together with dyed black hair, wearing matching "Card Captor Sakura" t-shirts while browsing the latest additions to the anime section at blockbuster, while talking about their latest goth festival or roll playing gathering.
4) Religious Fanatic:
This type has given internal logic up for the external imposition of logic. This is usually due to severe bullying and ridicule as a child, which causes this INTP to be crushed to an empty shell – the perfect vessel for religion. These INTPs have no need for mere objective logic; they become masters of their religion, able to counter any argument logically within the confines of said religion. They accept the tenets and scriptures on "faith", and then feed it into their pool of logic. This type of INTP is incapable of losing an argument as they can creatively invent new logic off of old ideas. If their religion tells them the sun is a big chocolate square, they WILL FIND A WAY to deflect any argument that points out that the sun, in fact, is not a big chocolate square at all. The easiest way to end a debate with this type is "you are right" (due to the fact that they are incapable of being wrong, as that would require more pages of the dead sea scrolls which have yet to turn up).
5) Cynical Realist:
This type of INTP has seen the world, and realized that they want no part of it, except where they can get knowledge, experience, and entertainment from it. They see life for what it is, a big cosmic joke, and often wonder if they should laugh or cry, but otherwise just say the hell with it, and go get laid. They tend to be sarcastic and funny, are world travelers, and can blend in to any environment, and they tend to get laid a lot. They also tend to be fairly well educated, yet stuck in worthless and meaningless jobs, both because the people around them are idiots and because they don't have the mindless compulsion to kiss ass to move up in life. They are the street philosopher, the beat poet, the writers, and fountains of knowledge and wisdom. They tend to play multiple instruments, and just generally look cool and sexy. Their experience is as wide as their knowledge is deep, and tend to be very observant, and get laid a whole lot. They shower regularly, dress well yet comfortably, tend to be sexy in a low key sort of way, and tend to score easily with members of the opposite sex. Although their living quarters tend to appear disorganized, it is an organized disorganization, arranged in such a way as to be easy to get from the bed to the door, and back without interruption. This subtype also tends to like to party, likes to go out for drinks, can get along with pretty much anyone, and tends to get laid more than any other subtype of INTP.