[INTP] Do men really like intelligent women?? I highly doubt that... - Page 21

Do men really like intelligent women?? I highly doubt that...

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This is a discussion on Do men really like intelligent women?? I highly doubt that... within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Sillyasuarus I think most men want more of a partner rather than an opponent, though I suppose ...

  1. #201

    Quote Originally Posted by Sillyasuarus View Post
    I think most men want more of a partner rather than an opponent, though I suppose a couple could be both at different times. However, I have known couples who were opponents, and it worked for them, at least one has been married for longer than me, and they seem happy.
    It's both at the same time, not at different times. Just like if you're fencing, playing tennis or doing whatever competition it's simultaneously your partner and opponent. Partner, because without them, you wouldn't be able to play, opponent because you're trying your best to beat them.

    Like I said, it's not about the outcome. That also means "opponent" has zero negative connotations. You do not desperately have to beat them, you just try to because the attempt itself is fun. And what's the point of a relationship if not having fun (more fun than you would have alone)?

    That everyone isn't wired that way is obvious, a lot of people either care too much about winning, making them bad losers (and worse winners), or not enough about playing, so they aren't giving their best, which makes it unsatisfying to try and beat them. I dunno what I would list as requirements to be that kind of person. A healthy dose of self-assurance might help to be able to shrug off losses, but I don't think that's really it. Perhaps it's a certain (emotional) distance that makes it impersonal, quite in the literal meaning -- not about the person. If everything is personal for you, you'll hardly handle losing (and winning) well.
    Eryngo thanked this post.

  2. #202

    Thanks for that, makes sense. I still cant imagine having that kind of relationship, but at least now I have an idea of how it works.

  3. #203

    Quote Originally Posted by Sillyasuarus View Post
    Thanks for that, makes sense. I still cant imagine having that kind of relationship, but at least now I have an idea of how it works.
    Is it so strange, though? I mean -- and this post is just because the example popped into my head, so ignore it if you like, it's not that relevant -- the context we're talking about is challenging the other in intellectual pursuits (hence being of comparable intelligence, and the same kind of intelligence, if there are different ones), but it could just as well be reduced to actual games. Imagine board games, those that require strategic thinking, not just luck.

    Now if I'm playing, and actually want to have fun at that (as opposed to entertaining others or just bonding), I would require you to study the rules carefully, draw your conclusions, and then put up your best fight. Because I'm doing the same. That is fun.

    What is not fun is not caring enough and playing half-heartedly, allowing me to win for <reasons>, or plain sucking so bad that I trounce you. All of those lead to me looking for a different person to play with. And I don't think that's that outlandish?

    Now generalise that concept, and you have a relationship like the one discussed. An ongoing, unstated, friendly game, pushing and improving each other, resulting in being the best you can be. For me, that's a nice thought.
    Santa Gloss, SouDesuNyan and Eryngo thanked this post.

  4. #204

    If someone, regardless of gender, is stupid, I'll basically choose not to interact with them. Unless I decide to troll them by inciting a debate and then intentionally using logical fallacies and putting holes in my argument and laugh to myself as they fail to notice.

    But anyway, yeah. Most of the time I don't usually want to be someone's friend or have an interest in them romantically unless they match or outmatch me in wits or intelligence at some point. It's almost like a rite of passage to get through to me that I don't outright tell anyone about, so I don't have many friends XD

    So I guess it's not so much of me being attracted to intelligence as avoiding of unintelligence. But attraction to intelligence plays a part in there.


     
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