[INTP] Do men really like intelligent women?? I highly doubt that... - Page 3

Do men really like intelligent women?? I highly doubt that...

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This is a discussion on Do men really like intelligent women?? I highly doubt that... within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; @ Hiraeth First of all my question is about highly intelligent women in general, I'm not asking about myself and ...

  1. #21
    INTP


    @Hiraeth First of all my question is about highly intelligent women in general, I'm not asking about myself and whether I'm intelligent or not is not the topic at hand. I had this debate with a collegue and we both weren't sure on how men view non typical and smarter than average women,in terms of something serious. Second of all, intelligent or not, not everyone goes about in their lives with the latest copy of a book about the science of relationships, so unless someone has a certain knowledge of this..."science", I don't see how or why someone "should know it"? That seems more like a personalised absolute view of yours, to me than something that people "should" know lol. And finally, my question and description were pretty clear, don't see why you go around it so much?
    Last edited by Limee; 04-22-2017 at 08:54 AM.

  2. #22
    INTP


    Yeah because opening a thread with a clear question directed to others, is a sign of having made up my mind for sure on this? Which parts exactly define my question as a rant?

  3. #23

    I don't think the issue is intelligence, rather, understanding. I meet a lot of different types of people and the ones I get along with best are those who I can just talk to and they understand me. Some of these are highly intelligent and some are not so much. I may be wrong, or may be misunderstanding, but I think how we get along with people is more related to how we think than our IQ/ intelligence.
    Ethanol, grandpa2390, forgotten reason and 2 others thanked this post.

  4. #24
    INTP


    @LinkToTheLast You know what the problem here is? I posted a thread to which some people had this..unhealthy instict to reply to with clear and decent points to the question I asked. Then you come here, see the thread which you obviously don't like for your own reasons, do not reply to the topic, insult me in a passive aggressive way by devaluying my point, without really explaining your reply or elaborating on it. The only one who doesn't have a clear point so far is you. So unless you have something to offer in this thread intellectually, I don't see why your highness is still around inferior subjects like me?? You're welcome to leave anytime you wish ;)

  5. #25
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Eryngo View Post
    Well, it's hard to put a new topic out there, so I'm cutting some slack.

    For example, the thesis here is that men are "threatened" by smart women. I think that's true (to the degree that we're all a little threatened when people are smarter than we are-- it's a jarring ego checkup) but it doesn't explain why men don't choose smart women. My husband is threatened by me and he wants me. He wants to not be threatened by me, but he doesn't want me to be dumber to make that happen--he wants to be smarter. It's always more fun to be smarter than someone smart than to be smarter than someone dumb! So whether or not we are together doesn't rest on whether he can predictably be smarter than I am and therefore his level of feeling threatened. On the contrary. And I wouldn't be surprised if many men were just like this.

    The trouble is, smart women (as smart people of any gender) are a pain in the ass for reasons related to being smart. And being with another human is a pain in the ass in the first place, so add that special level to it, and it's a dealbreaker. It's not because their potential mates are threatened, it's because they don't need whatever you are offering enough to put up with you being a pain in the ass. Totally reasonable. We all do this.

    So through this post we can clear up a common misconception. I think it still works as discussion.
    That's an issue I have with people, and not just women, who may be smart, but more importantly, who think they are smarter than everyone, in a very overconfident fashion.

    I mean I can see how that could threaten one's ego, especially when there's not effort done with the tone used to communicate things. I could see that many insecure people wouldn't want that in a relationship, but if both want to be in a relationship, a difference in smarts levels can be accommodated for, if it isn't too big. If one makes the other feel like and regularly remind them they're much smarter than them, there's no reason for either one to stay. It's not interesting either for the smarter one.
    Ethanol, grandpa2390, Tamehagane and 6 others thanked this post.

  6. #26
    INTJ

    Quote Originally Posted by Limee View Post
    In several ways, *some* men tend to say that they are charmed by intelligent women. They might even be *turned on* by witty and genuinely smart women.

    But will those men think the same when they come face to face with a battle of wits, in which the woman has equal if not more 'weapons' than them? Do they easily make relationships with such women? And what kind of men will genuinely prefer to actively be associated romantically with such women? Perhaps only the very strong in themselves and equally or more intelligent men? For example I think INTP and INTJ women are mostly favored by males of the same types or even ENTJs and ENTPs or perhaps only a couple different types?

    But in general I really believe that the majority of men in society, even if they might be pleasantly 'intrigued' by intelligent women, will eventually end up fearing, disliking or even abhorring such women to their deepest core.

    Let's face it. No man wants to feel 'threatened' by other men..much less by women.

    The intelligent woman might bring up a new and 'fresh' intriguying experience for most men but that's just as far as it goes. Most men will later be put off by the prospect of having a really intelligent and different non-typical woman in their lives. Keywords: Most men.

    What are your thoughts on this? If you are a male, how do you view intelligent women and how far would you go with them? If you're a female, what have you seen happening the most in these situations?
    Here's the rub: women date/marry 'up' but men date/marry 'down'.
    This presents problems either for the hard-charging career woman, or for the intellectual woman.
    For while a career woman will not like a blue collar type (say, electrician or plumber, even if he owns his own business and makes more than her), or an intellectual woman will quickly grow bored with a jock (what a thrill! in bed, but the temporary boost of having other women drool over your arm candy grows stale, as he cannot hold onto a real conversation for long)...
    guys don't seem to have the same compunction: an executive might be perfectly happy with a secretary, as long as she is hot and feminine, and keeps the home fires burning.
    However, when it comes to intellect, most highly intellectual guys want a girl bright enough that she can keep up (well, _most_ of the time), but not enough that she feels compelled to challenge him constantly.
    The other issue, is that except for INxx women, most women are light years ahead of most men, when it comes to social nuance and communication: and the "intelligent" men tend to be INxx men, who have all the social grace of Attila the Hun. This does not often wear well...
    As for me, when I was single, I looked at an IQ of ~140 as a *floor*.
    grandpa2390 thanked this post.

  7. #27
    INTP


    Quote Originally Posted by WhoIsJake View Post
    I like women who are not easily influenced. To me that takes a certain intelligence to be so aware. I don't understand the concept of being threatened by intelligence either.

    Powerful women are hot. I think only a true sexist would dislike powerful women.

    Maybe from your experience all the smart women you know are straight ugly swamp donkeys and that is why men don't like them
    Would you call ugly men, donkeys too? More like my experience tells me that men who dont have their egoism validated by gullible and typical emotional females, tend to react like cowards and usually end up insulting other women. I don't refer to lack of attraction due to physical traits.
    lolalalah thanked this post.

  8. #28

    Quote Originally Posted by UnicornRainbowLove View Post
    If a man takes pride in his intelligence, he will get a blow to his ego by hanging out with women who talk about subjects he doesn't know anything about. If he doesn't have an inferiority complex about his intelligence, say, because he knows he is good enough since he has a fancy car, dating an intelligent woman will not pose an ego problem for him (although it might give communication problems - relate to being attracted to your opposite, etc).
    Hm, I'm not sure that's the best way to describe it, if we're just generally talking about the male gender. Because if a man takes pride in his intelligence, and it's real pride, not the fake shit where you just act smart using words you just googled, I think that type of man would genuinely be attracted to a woman with similar or an even higher amount of intelligence.

    The only way I wouldn't be attracted to a woman due to her higher intelligence would be because her intelligence isn't just a little or moderately higher than mine, but way higher than mine. Like the difference between night and day. But I wouldn't be weird or jealous about it, I'd just submit to the superior mind, and use her as an example for how smart minds are supposed to operate.
    Tamehagane, s2theizay and Eryngo thanked this post.

  9. #29
    INTP


    Quote Originally Posted by Lonewaer View Post
    That's an issue I have with people, and not just women, who may be smart, but more importantly, who think they are smarter than everyone, in a very overconfident fashion.

    I mean I can see how that could threaten one's ego, especially when there's not effort done with the tone used to communicate things. I could see that many insecure people wouldn't want that in a relationship, but if both want to be in a relationship, a difference in smarts levels can be accommodated for, if it isn't too big. If one makes the other feel like and regularly remind them they're much smarter than them, there's no reason for either one to stay. It's not interesting either for the smarter one.
    Well, right. That's what I'm saying. Sometimes being smart makes you an asshole (in this case, pedantic, vainglorious, whatever, but a smart person could also be more sensitive, inflexible, demanding, etc. than the norm as well). And people don't dislike you because you're smart, they dislike you because you're an asshole.

    So it all comes down to how much of an asshole you are, and other people's tolerance for it for their own reasons. Just like it always does.
    Lonewaer and Kenkao thanked this post.

  10. #30
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Limee View Post
    Yeah because opening a thread with a clear question directed to others, is a sign of having made up my mind for sure on this? Which parts exactly define my question as a rant?
    "I highly doubt that..."
    In the very title of the thread.
    Necrofantasia, Tamehagane and Cobble thanked this post.


     
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