This is a discussion on How do an INFJ get an INTP to be interested again? within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Nell ^ Hope is the emotion I fucking hate the most, because of the potential for cruelty ...
Last edited by Mandy34; 01-14-2019 at 11:57 AM.
It's quite hard to tell.
Although I can say with 75% certainty that he did like you. Time can pass by without the INTP noticing. It might explain the differences in response times.
For an INTP to ask a girl out takes a major stroke of courage (well for me at least). I usually play all the rejection scenarios and pump myself full of emotions. I like to keep emotions to the minimum. Also I like basing my judgments off of logic so when I ask someone out, I am kind of going against myself. (It's a lot more complicated than that but that is the gist of it).
About emotions and keeping them to a minimum, I usually like to not experience them even if it means getting out of the relationship. I'm not saying that one bad thing about a person and bam I'm gone. I'm saying anything that prevents an actual relationship to form (like a person taken, lack of interest etc.).
I don't know what his reaction is, so I'm spit balling here, but it was probably hopelessness that overcame him when things were getting real. (I'm assuming when you told him that you were dating someone else).
But then again, I am using my own experiences to predict his behaviour. Take this with a grain of salt.
Then whilst drunk He wrote me he still had feelings for me. We don’t live in the same country, but I had to visit his city for other reasons and we decided to meet. It was great. After a few weeks he writes me he wants to give it a try, for real this time. I tell him he lost his chance, I have someone else, but I too still have feelings for him.Things between us were only platonic
Sounds like you’re confused at where you stand or what you feel. Are you platonic or do you have feelings? Be conclusive.He said I shouldn’t because he doesn’t have any for me. I suggest we can be friends. He likes the idea, he writes me, but when I write him, he answers messages after a long time or not at all. I tell him goodbye. But I feel stupid about it, plus I don’t understand, if he just needs time/ he lost interest because I have someone else or he never cared. Anyway i’d like to be friend with him, that is why I want to fix this goodbye forever situation. But maybe it is not such a good idea after all
Sounds like since you’re with someone else, you also are not in a position to initiate a relationship with him. What do you think would be the best option for someone else in your position? If someone had feelings for another, what would they need to do to get some form of resolve?
The only way for me to get any resolve was to grow some internal rigidity, have a proper conversation with the other, and talk to the other clearly about one’s position and what they wanted , in the friendship with the other guy. Ignoring someone you are, at least friends with, is never a good idea. Too many repressed emotions and unanswered questions. People need much more resolve than that.