[INTP] Are You Somewhat Domineering?

Are You Somewhat Domineering?

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This is a discussion on Are You Somewhat Domineering? within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I normally let people live as they please and don't let their actions bother me, but when I am forced ...

  1. #1
    INTP - The Thinkers


    Are You Somewhat Domineering?

    I normally let people live as they please and don't let their actions bother me, but when I am forced to work on a project with others, or when I am in a relationship, I tend to be dominant. I think I feel the need to be the leader in a group because letting others think for me makes me very uncomfortable. As for relationships: I wish to be dominant because I'm afraid of allowing my partner to have control over me. Can anyone relate to being dominant in these situations?
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  2. #2

    I don't really care to be dominant. In fact, it's why I don't like to work in groups as much, where the group isn't open to my ideas -- because I don't play the power game / wrest control well. I'm more apt to leave and do things alone when I want to remain in charge of something.

    However, I think Eric B and others have discussed the DISC system and how NTs can fall have a D component to their personality, or the Four Humours system that also adds a directive component to NT types.

  3. #3
    INTP - The Thinkers


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennywocky View Post
    I don't really care to be dominant. In fact, it's why I don't like to work in groups as much, where the group isn't open to my ideas -- because I don't play the power game / wrest control well. I'm more apt to leave and do things alone when I want to remain in charge of something.

    However, I think Eric B and others have discussed the DISC system and how NTs can fall have a D component to their personality, or the Four Humours system that also adds a directive component to NT types.
    In one of my classes my professor assigns me to work with two C students. I don't trust or agree with most of their judgments, so I assume the leadership role. I can't help myself! I've been forced to revise their papers, and, as a result, I can't respect their input!
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  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by username View Post
    In one of my classes my professor assigns me to work with two C students. I don't trust or agree with most of their judgments, so I assume the leadership role. I can't help myself! I've been forced to revise their papers, and, as a result, I can't respect their input!
    Yeah, that's what it comes down to. Basically I don't like the tension/conflict that comes with that, so I avoid it when I can. I've also been in positions where I had an official title (like when I was editor for a friend's RPG) and I found myself really wrestling with how far to assert myself upon the material vs letting other people provide input I considered faulty... it was all grass-roots/volunteer work.

    As it was, I kind of made no headway after a certain point, so I backed off, and the project failed as I had expected because changes I saw as necessary were not made. But it was just a Catch-22 experience. I don't like imposing myself on others, but I don't like investing in work that will be meaningless because other people took things in other directions.
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  5. #5
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I sorta get it.
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  6. #6
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Only in group projects really.
    If I don't completely trust others to do their share of work I try to step up out of fear of failure.
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  7. #7
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I'm not naturally domineering so usually sit back. Unless I assess that everyone else is less domineering than me and nothing will get accomplished otherwise.
    If it's something that is in my wheel house than I'll step up and take control quickly if I don't think the leader knows what he/she is talking about.

    I'm a high C (conscientious in the DISC profile, and we had a personality seminar last week. It was interesting to see that my boss and her boss were also both C's. I had some D mixed in too, but it was lower than theirs.
    The other C's were 3 INTJs, and an ISTJ.
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  8. #8

    l'm also a C on the DISC system

    But no, maybe l seem like it around types who won't make decisions. l get the sense some people try to make me look domineering sometimes but l am really the last person who is going to tell some what to do outside of a project or something. Also l'm like the size of a 7th grader lol.
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  9. #9
    INTP - The Thinkers


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennywocky View Post
    Yeah, that's what it comes down to. Basically I don't like the tension/conflict that comes with that, so I avoid it when I can. I've also been in positions where I had an official title (like when I was editor for a friend's RPG) and I found myself really wrestling with how far to assert myself upon the material vs letting other people provide input I considered faulty... it was all grass-roots/volunteer work.

    As it was, I kind of made no headway after a certain point, so I backed off, and the project failed as I had expected because changes I saw as necessary were not made. But it was just a Catch-22 experience. I don't like imposing myself on others, but I don't like investing in work that will be meaningless because other people took things in other directions.
    I'm contemplating this character trait because my professor said I'm a bossy person. I wonder if the judgment is correct, or if he's just generalizing because he sees that I ignore the input of the non-serious students in my group. I asked my boyfriend what he thinks, and he agrees with my professor's observation. I know I am dominant in my relationship for fear of allowing myself to be vulnerable, but I honestly don't think that I'm an all-around bossy, domineering person.

    Also, my boyfriend doesn't have good manners, is lazy, and extremely messy. Sometimes I have to tell him what to do because he doesn't know how not to offend people or not ruin property. For example, he kicked my parents' oven door shut with his leg! My father was understandably offended. My boyfriend didn't understand why! It wasn't enough to explain to him that when you are a guest in someone's home you don't kick their oven door shut. I have to keep repeating myself over and over because he forgets what I tell him in the first place.
    Jennywocky and Lady O.W. Bro thanked this post.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by username View Post
    I'm contemplating this character trait because my professor said I'm a bossy person. I wonder if the judgment is correct, or if he's just generalizing because he sees that I ignore the input of the non-serious students in my group. I asked my boyfriend what he thinks, and he agrees with my professor's observation. I know I am dominant in my relationship for fear of allowing myself to be vulnerable, but I honestly don't think that I'm an all-around bossy, domineering person.
    This can go a few different ways, IME.

    To be fair, l am ENTP so l think no matter what l really do, l project a little more energy than most I types and there's not much l can do about it.

    But l would say l'm more often called "bossy" by women. lt's mostly a reaction to the way l talk, l think, they may feel like l'm being short with them. My mother definitely tries to make me look like l boss her around and it never stops being funny because l want zero control over this woman xD She's just very reactive.

    But yeah, lots of women in general will react to me like l have a more masculine energy.

    Men usually won't react that way, seeing as they're actual men who can see that l'm a short human who clearly isn't intimidating and can't really control them. l also think most of the time men just naturally view my energy as less intimidating because they're used to it in themselves.

    But there have been a few men who have reacted to me like l was being uber bossy on what l think is the sole grounds of my being female. l think there's sometimes a stronger reaction just because the person is female, it's usually a man who has an issue with women but it happens rarely.

    Overall, people can easily see that l'm a punk who really has no desire to control anyone lol.
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