This is a discussion on Need advice from INTPs within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; heh. :)...
This is great ... how often do INTPs usually get to try and bring two people together?
Well, not often I would assume!
INTPs aren't as heartless as people assume. We don't lose interest in people we made a real connection(like someone already said) to or have a crush on. I am sure there are some who try to live the Vulcan lifestyle of pure logic. According to a website Vulcans were more like INTJs. But that's not the point. But some of us are hopeless romantics and watch romantic comedies despite the over the top emotional scenes that annoys us so. We learn to put up with it time to time since it's illogical to have an overly logical romance since its obvious that love normally involves some form of chaos to it. Oh dear God what am I saying? That was an interesting and most likely useless rant. Tell him how you feel and try to not go overboard with the emotions other wise he will need a bit to gather what happened. Sorry if I wasn't any help
I would just like to say if you decide to say how you feel, his reactions may or may not be what you expect. I know whenever someone says something "overly positive" to me, whether a "well done" comment, or something like, "You're a good friend," I tend to think about the comment, think over a suitable response, and reply in an underwhelming way even if I'm very pleased and happy. Emotional comments can be a bit hard to deal with, especially when they are directed at you, but they don't make INTPs blow up, so it's all good. : D Just a thought, in case it's helpful.
More related, I don't think you'll have an issue if you do- from what it sounds like, it sounds like you have connected. This: "our experiences were more mental/verbal/discussion based" reminds me of interactions with my friends when I've felt the closest to them- I love anyone who is willing to interact on the mental plane. Plus, if he's already mentioned romance, well~
I'm a female INTP so i don't know if i'm similar to the guys but i'm guessing so. I don't usually keep connections with anyone and I hate talking on the phone, unless if the other person calls me, so the only time i'd actually want to keep contact with someone is if it really interested me, and usually if i thought it would go somewhere. When I liked someone in the past, i always waited for the other person to make the first step, i didn't want to seem embarassed, and there were times when i felt connection with guys i wanted to be with, and they seemed like it too but it didn't go anywhere because both of us didn't want to feel rejected, and later on, years later, after i was in relationship, we met online and found out the guy liked me whole lot, but usually, if someone doesn't tell me that, i don't know it, and if like the person and don't see any signs back from that person, i ignore my feelings towards them and move on. But after i broke up with my b/f at the time, i connected with the one guys because even though so much time passed, the connection was never forgotton.
He might think you moved on since you haven't mentioned how you feel. I am not one to read between the lines, someone can tell me i'm the coolest person ever and i'm fun and great and blah blah but if they don't say "i have feelings for you" i'd never know.
We have more feelings then we like to admit, i guess it depends on the strength of the T or F, i think i'm pretty in touch with my feelings even though everyone else seems to see me as a cold hearted monster. Only my close friends know the real me, they see me as the nicest person ever, and that's what I appreciate, and that's why they're my friends. Because they can see past the "poker face" i like to show.
Almost everything that needs to be said here, has been adressed by the many intelligent INTPs out there.
The main point that I wish to elaborate on, is the assumption that INTPs are heartless because we are thinking functions. I've never been more flabbergasted at an idea such as that before. From what I've come to understand, INTPs love rarely, but hard. If someone, somehow, captivates me, it's like some sort of magic that I simply cannot resist, despite my logic, despite my desire to stay away from things that make me vulnerable. Just the mere fact that he's kept in contact with you all this time, means something. Just the fact that he finds you smart enough to handle his theories, means something.
To sum it up, you've got something here. The only way to know for sure what it is, is to bring it up to him, honestly and as straightforward as possible. My guess is that he'll spend a lot of time thinking about it, but no matter what, he will reach a conclusion and let you know what it is. Whether it means that he wants to see you again and rekindle the romance, or that it's simply not there anymore, chances are: he'll let you know.
There's nothing to be afraid of. We are all just humans after all.
Now I'm curious, let us know what happened after you talked to him. =)
Also, it is probably better to contact him online... so you can think better while expressing your feelings, and also because, idk about the other INTPs, but I hate when ppl call me/contact me through phone. I never know what to say.
You have been hiding all your feelings so far. So he likes the version of you that has been evasive towards any form of emotional expression. As much as I would like to encourage you to express how you feel, do know that if it does work out between you, you will be hiding a lot of how you feel from now on. (except if you really are that T-ish of an INFP)
Also, he may not lose interest quick.. but it is highly unlikely that he will take actions quick either. (like traveling halfway across the globe)
That being said, I do wish you all the luck there is as you seem to be a very nice person.
I think your concern is unfounded. If I had confessed to someone that I had an "intense romance" with them I'm certain that I'm not going to be put off by them telling me they have deep feelings for me. How do you know that he doesn't feel the same and just afraid to tell you? We are not good at dealing with crazy emotional outburst coming from people we don't have a close relationship with, but it sounds like you already have that. Just don't call him up out of the blue and tell him you love him and are flying out tonight to be with him forever. Start out suddle and build up to it. I have never forgotten someone I have been close to no matter how many years have passed and no matter how short the relationship was. Good luck!