I am an INFJ breaking into INTP territory ;-) and I feel a little pathetic doing this...maybe my introversion function likes trying to work these things out independently, but no matter.
Here's the story:
I noticed this guy at a Quaker meeting and was intrigued by him. But, obviuosly that is not the time to meditate on potentially interesting people, so I kept my focus. Then, after it had ended, I was talking to some other people and he came up and sat with us. I looked at him as he joined in the conversation, and there was just some extraordinary intuitive spark that felt very mutual.
So we got talkiing and he asked if I fancied going for a drink, and it was really wonderful. he was totally random and off the wall, and I completely was on the same wavelength and vice versa. The conversation flowed very freely cosidering how shy I normally am around new people; we seem to be totally on the same wavelength re spirituality and philosphy and exploring those ideas, and it was amazing not to have to do the boring small talk stuff. I felt kind of inspired by him, and that felt mutual. And he paid me a few compliments, which with an S-type I would be kinda suspicious of, but they seemed to come out more as observations. I felt like he was kind of detatched and observing, and my hunch is definitely INTP. I have a few INTP (married) guys friends who I have the same sort of connection in conversation that we had. At the end of the evening, he didn't ask for my number - I guess maybe that's cos I hold back a lot until I really get to know anyone - but he said he might see me at the next weeks meeting.
I didn't actually see him there, however, by chance we bumped into each other at his univesity. I was sitting eating lunch alone, and he was just about to, so we went outside and ate together. Again, the ideas and conversation was really exciting and flowing, and he observed that I was cold and gave me his jacket, which I thought was kinda nice. Appeals to my romantic sentiments!! ;-) He had to go to a class, but before going, we exchanged numbers.
After a few days, I texted him about something we'd been discussing, and he was interested in the idea, added something and asked me my opinion. I replied, but I never got a response back. Then, a week later- and much against my usual style, I have never ever intiated with a guy and don't enjoy doing it at all - I asked him if he fancied meeting up. His response was very enthusiastic and cordial, however he has exams so asked if he can take a raincheck.
Its been a fortnight now since that last communication, and I'm not at all clingy and totally understand the need for space etc, however I don't want him to get away, even if just for friendship, there was something there that was just too exciting to leave unexplored.
So my question is about INTP's and initiation. I do feel that there is something mutual, but since we first met, I appear to be driving it, which makes me feel a little vulnerable... and of course, certain types do just play you along, though my instinct is that he isn't. Do INTP's not generally initiate? Would it be viewed negatively if I were to drive (at least) a friendship? Or would it be seen as needy and clingy, which is far from what I'm like!
Well, sorry for the essay, it is very ESFX to talk about every detail like this, but I just can't stop thinking about him. (roll of eyes)