[INTP] Confessions of an INTP - Page 890

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This is a discussion on Confessions of an INTP within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I really dislike discussing politics. I put this in the 'confessions' thread because people usually get upset about it. It's ...

  1. #8891
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I really dislike discussing politics.

    I put this in the 'confessions' thread because people usually get upset about it.
    It's not that I don't care about politics, it's just that all my experiences of discussing politics involves people slinging insults at me (or other people involved in the discussion). I'm not interested in that.
    HAL, Alice Alipheese and Chyceria thanked this post.

  2. #8892

    I admit doing this when I was a kid.

  3. #8893
    INTP

    Quote Originally Posted by School View Post
    I really dislike discussing politics.

    I put this in the 'confessions' thread because people usually get upset about it.
    It's not that I don't care about politics, it's just that all my experiences of discussing politics involves people slinging insults at me (or other people involved in the discussion). I'm not interested in that.
    Absolutely. Rational discussion seems to have been firmly jettisoned from most aspects of political discourse. It's all insults, name-calling, and a weird fetish for those who are best at those things.

    A mate of mine quite firmly believes that the best politicians are the ones who can "hold their own" during the childish debates that take place in the House of Commons, as if that bares any relevance at all on politics.

    I used to really like politics. Discussing, viewing, learning etc. Not any more though. It seems to be that the loonies are truly running the asylum right now - this goes for politicians and public alike. I'm just waiting, patiently, for the light at the end of the tunnel.
    GusWriter and School thanked this post.

  4. #8894

    I was foolish to offer to take the fridge. Things blew up of course. Not fridges though.

  5. #8895
    INTP

    In my university, it is mandatory to go through a travel agency to buy flight tickets for a business travel. It is so a pain in the ass. It takes 3x more time to get a flight tickets, they do so many mistakes and you have to pay more... the price can be up to 50% more for the same flight if I don't take account how the price rises due to the delay of those back and forth email:

    Hi, I want to go from A to B on day C and from B to A on day D. (proposing the option to get from B to A (yep, they inverted it) on day C and saying that there is no flight on day D and proposing flight the day after). Hi, actually there is a flight on day D which is cheaper than the flight you propose me for the day after... also sending the price I saw on the web. (listing the flights with a significantly higher price). Me thinking: well, good job, the price for the first flight increased in the mean time and you are not able to fucking check the company website for the second one... sending a screen shot along with the website URL to this travel agency.

    Confession: I'll do my best such that this travel agency won't get a new contract with my university and, at the same time, changing my university policy on that matter. Luckily, I live at equal distance from three different airports... so, the probability that they do some mistakes or miss something is higher and I'll be able to document how incompetent they are. Nothing personal but their incompetency is annoying me too much: they are normally paid to make traveling smoother, the preparation faster and find the best deal, not the inverse.
    Pifanjr and HAL thanked this post.

  6. #8896

    So....when I consume Sour Diesel I am more productive, more energetic, quicker thinking, more positive.

    I am also more open.
    So open in fact I told a classmate I've been suicidal for 3 months. She immediately followed by asking to meet at college and work on personal projects and talk about what I've been going through

    I hate this.... I hate any interaction that comes from anything other than someone's own natural wishes.

    It's not actual enjoyment of my company that makes you want to hang out, it's the obligation to help. This isn't your will, it's social contract bullshit. You don't actually care about anything I have to say, nobody does, nobody really responds when I talk in the group discord. I was always out of place there.

    In trying to undo my stupidity as carefully as possible, I expressed that just telling that to someone was plenty helpful... it wasn't a lie, but I just don't want to be anyone's obligation. She apologized for naturally resorting to "Active Problem Solving" right off the bat.

    It hurt... I don't think she's aware it did, but I wouldn't be surprised if it had been intentional. I don't intend to tell her either way, I deserve it if it was intentional and if it wasn't, I don't want others to walk on eggshells because I'm so easy to hurt.

    I have always felt like every time I am even seen by any of them, I'm just feeding the gossip engine. Providing a cautionary anecdote. Being an example of what not to be, making others feel relieved they are who they are, or providing a handy dandy punchline. It could be my neurosis, it could be the truth. I don't even trust myself enough to tell anymore.

    I admire them, they are all wonderful people, but a part of me wishes to just wipe them off my life. I want to take the food chain, tie it into a noose and hang myself with it.

    Now I gotta plan for damage control...definitely wearing long sleeves.
    I don't know how to explain that no matter how suicidal I feel, the risk of me actually attempting is minimal because I am more afraid of the prospect of pain and crippling myself for life via a failed attempt than I am of dying. How do you even begin to tell this to a normie? God I fucked up.

    I'm just ...tired....I am insanely limited in terms of energy and now I gotta waste a fuckload of it on this. I knew animation was social....I didn't think it'd be like this. As if I have eyes on me every day. They're in all my fucking social media except this. Every day I don't add anything to Instagram is a fucking inadequacy trip.

    It seems the more I strive to become Nell, the further away from her I get.
    Last edited by Necrofantasia; 08-22-2019 at 11:30 PM.
    mimesis, Aridela and Marvin the Dendroid thanked this post.

  7. #8897
    INTP

    An old mate killed herself yesterday.

    She was actually just someone I worked with, but our attitudes toward life were highly similar. I was 20 at the time and she was 30, so it was kind of a little brother / big sister dynamic, where she treated me like an adult but was a decade ahead in life experience, while sharing a very similar outlook on the world. I had just started going to raves, getting wrecked on drugs and doing all that other wild stuff that happens along the trails of youthful discovery, whereas she had done it all already. She really knew the life I was living, and we connected because of it.

    Anyway I didn't really see her again after working there, but we did cross paths a few times and it was always great, like nothing had changed. She was one of those people that you just get on naturally well with, without any falseness or insincerity. It's rare to find that with someone. Fuck, actually the last time I saw her (two or three years ago) we were both wasted and got a little bit kissy. I never expected that to happen, though she had once admitted mild interest in me when we were working together. I suppose there's some obscene humour in the fact that one of my last memories of her is the feeling of my hand over one of her breasts.

    Either way she's dead now, fucking killed herself. Those lame virtue signalling Facebook posts are so very true - you really don't know who's contemplating suicide. Can't fucking believe it. She was great. Never thought this would happen. Don't know why I'm so affected by it either. As far as I was concerned, she was just an old mate who I may or may not see again at some point. It didn't hugely concern me. But now I've learned of her suicide, I'm struck far more than I would have thought. WTF, it's fucked. What an odd daze I am now in. I feel bad making this post about me and my feelings, because it's supposed to be about her. Dunno what I'm doing. Absolute madness.
    Last edited by HAL; 08-30-2019 at 02:37 AM.
    School, Pifanjr and Aridela thanked this post.

  8. #8898

    Quote Originally Posted by HAL View Post
    I feel bad making this post about me and my feelings, because it's supposed to be about her. Dunno what I'm doing. Absolute madness.
    This seems like a perfect place to post about it honestly. Your feelings are still valid and you should have some place to express them.
    School and HAL thanked this post.

  9. #8899
    INTP

    Quote Originally Posted by Pifanjr View Post
    This seems like a perfect place to post about it honestly. Your feelings are still valid and you should have some place to express them.
    Yeah you're right.

    One of my favourite things about this forum is how much I can let all them feels out. No way in hell would I do it anywhere else.
    School and Pifanjr thanked this post.

  10. #8900

    Quote Originally Posted by HAL View Post
    An old mate killed herself yesterday.O

    Either way she's dead now, fucking killed herself. Those lame virtue signalling Facebook posts are so very true - you really don't know who's contemplating suicide. Can't fucking believe it. She was great. Never thought this would happen. Don't know why I'm so affected by it either. As far as I was concerned, she was just an old mate who I may or may not see again at some point. It didn't hugely concern me. But now I've learned of her suicide, I'm struck far more than I would have thought. WTF, it's fucked. What an odd daze I am now in. I feel bad making this post about me and my feelings, because it's supposed to be about her. Dunno what I'm doing. Absolute madness.
    You're stunned by the reminder of your own mortality. You can't really make it about her feelings because obviously you weren't close enough to know what they were in the first place.

    Good on her for finally being done with it all.


     
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