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Confessions of an INTP

843K views 11K replies 1K participants last post by  Nannerl 
#1 ·
[No message]
 
#33 · (Edited)
-I'd rather be in highschool than college merely due to the lack of responsibility and the simplicity of life.

-I never ask for help, regardless of how badly I need it.

-I constantly try to help motivate others, but I don't put any effort into motivating myself and procrastinate past due dates.

-I have explanations for everything that I do wrong, but in the end, nearly every single one of them is pulled out of my ass.
 
#35 ·
- i wish i could express my feelings better. but it always sounds like a bunch of words thrown together.
- i wish i knew how to ask for help, especially when i desperately need it.
- i wish i were easier to understand. i don't even *get* me most of the time.
- i wish people would realise i need friends just as much as the next person, but i'm lousy at making my friends feel appreciated. (but i do cherish them. and starting a debate is apparently not the best way to bond...)
- i wish i were more warm and fuzzy.
 
#36 ·
*I really don't along well with other people
*I can be a bit too tough on others
*I can come off as a snobby, elitist jerk
*I can come off as pretentious and arrogant
*I have a hard time tolerating people I believe to be wrong
*I'm lazy as hell
*I always focus on the negative, being a cynical bastard
*I don't read as often as I should
ect., ect., ect., ect.

I could spam this thread with confessions, but I'll leave it at that. =]
 
#37 ·
-I wish I could find the guts to confess any feelings I might have to someone

-Sometimes well-written stories make me cry, but I would never tell anyone who asks.

-I'm very, very illogical and a closet Feeler. It's an oligarchy when it comes to my mind -- only the Ti elites rule.

-In my opinion, feelings suck because I can't master them.

-Feelings suck, period.
 
#38 ·
-In my opinion, feelings suck because I can't master them.

-Feelings suck, period.
when i was reading this ISFP thread, i found myself asking: how do they do that, being able to be so blatantly expressive of their feelings? why can't i be more like that???
 
#39 ·
I will do anything to protect the ones I love and who have provided me with their lives to support my dreams. I will be merciless to anyone who tries to harm them.
 
#42 ·
* Sometimes I think I might be a sociopath.

* I hate numbers.

* I either think you are an equal, or that you are weak and pathetic. If you are the latter I want to kick you around like an abused dog.

* When a guy confesses to having romantic feelings about me, he loses my respect and goes into the weak and pathetic category.

* I take advantage of my looks, while also being detached from them. I wear makeup, not because I want to look pretty, but because I want the power to intimidate women and men alike. I call it war paint.

* I like getting into physical altercations and if an opportunity presents itself, I will goad people into throwing the first punch.

* When walking or riding in the car I will see people who just look annoying and cuss at them, knowing they can't hear me... For example, I'll notice a girl looking at me at a stoplight and I will say "what are you looking at bitch?!"...Only for me and maybe my best friend to hear.


* There was a time when I was a very meek and mild person. That person died in 7th grade. I killed her in her sleep...No actually it was due to bullying.
 
#43 ·
* Sometimes I think I might be a sociopath.

* I either think you are an equal, or that you are weak and pathetic. If you are the latter I want to kick you around like an abused dog.

* When a guy confesses to having romantic feelings about me, he loses my respect and goes into the weak and pathetic category.

* I take advantage of my looks, while also being detached from them. I wear makeup, not because I want to look pretty, but because I want the power to intimidate women and men alike. I call it war paint.

* I like getting into physical altercations and if an opportunity presents itself, I will goad people into throwing the first punch.
You think you might be a sociopath!?! If all of the above is correct you are most definitely a sociopath! lmao

However, I don't think you are a real sociopath... Since you are very specific in losing respect for guys who say they have romantic feelings for you, this sounds more like a form of 'fear of commitment' rather than sociopathy. A sociopath wouldn't fear or look down upon intimacy or romantic feelings like you do, a sociopath wouldn't be able to understand these feelings and would probably use them as tools though. You also said something about how you were bullied and how this led to your current self and this current self-image seems to be a cold, independent, machiavellian and at times violent woman... That also doesn't fit the sociopath stereotype either since callous sociopathy has a strong genetic component as it's cause. So you're either a non-callous sociopath (which isn't likely) or you're not a sociopath at all. By the way: non-callous sociopaths are usually faking their sociopathy in order to hide the real problem. Not to be offensive, but you seem to focus a lot on your 'darkside', which is exactly what a fake sociopath would do... However, if you really think you are a sociopath I would advice you to go see a psychiatrist, but if you ask me you are seeing things in your behaviour that aren't there. Your behaviour could be anything: a borderline personality disorder, sociopathy, regular INTx behviour, a histrionic personality disorder or an even rarer psychological deviation... But yet you choose to adapt the sociopathy label, why do you do this to yourself? Do you really believe that you are a sociopath? Do you think sociopathy is cool? Or are you already diagnosed with sociopathy and just bragging about how 'dark' you are? Why do you centre your internet-persona so much around this 'darkness'? I'm really interested in your story, 'cause it doesn't make sense when I read your posts in the forum.

I'm sorry if my tone is too offensive or if you don't know what I'm rambling on about but your posts have aroused my curiosity. I'd just like to know why you think you are a sociopath because I know somebody who speaks of herself exactly the way you do and when I ask her why she has such a 'dark' self-image I get the silent treatment or I get attacked by her (which is kinda cute :crazy:). Just trying to find connections in behaviour I guess, my INTPness and interest in the human psyche get the better of me at times. Feel free to ignore my post if you don't want to talk about this, but just know that I'm just interested and not seeking to attack you in any way.
 
#45 ·
Sometimes I feel like an Fi dom instead of a Ti dom ):




(which rly doesnt make sense cuz that would switch up all my cognitive functions, i think....)
 
#46 ·
I liked your original post devilsapple, and I thought you raised the bar of this thread. I have trouble admitting such things, I think it goes against my type 9w1 disposition. My social tendency - I assume everyone is less than me. When they prove me wrong it is a pleasant surprise I usually enjoy. When they don't it is business as usual.

Lets get crazy in the confession thread :) What happened when I was a kid seems like a lifetime ago. I think my adult life had more of an impact on my current views. I worked as a welder for years and there was nothing remotely feminine about it. If you said anything more than single sentence conversations you were a wierdo, and it beat the intp in me into submission. Every conversation I had during that time usually involved dirty jokes, profanity, and drugs. The girlfriends I had at that time never saw past my new cars and income. It drove me crazy and I related to nobody in my life. The fact that the girls I dated didn't really ever asked what I thought and enjoyed it when I treated them bad made it even worse. I took my negative feelings out on them and they enjoyed it. I was hell on wheels. I wanted more challenge and conversation so I took a job at a fully nude nightclub. I was attracted to the freedom of expression shown at the club. We had girl and guy dancers. Over 150+ dancing employees, 240 seat capacity. I worked their for around eight years and I have seen more than I ever wanted to. I call it staring into the sun. I have always stared into the sun. I am desensitized to everything. That has shaped my views in such a way.. mostly a negative way. I could never escape the fact that I am a thinker. I think the relationship part of PerC is likely the most boring area of the site. I have never check it out much so I shouldn't judge.

You want to know about seeing people as weak and pathetic, I feel that way about so many people talking on so many subjects. I would have to write a small story to share them all, maybe I will blog about it on here sometime. I hide it well, and I try hard to be more and more positive. I like this forum because it seems so pure and I only really want pure in my life at this time. I like the civility and I like other intps.

I feel differently but kinda the same about relationships as devilsapple described. I have experienced so many meaningless relationships, almost every one I have ever had, that I really don't care if I ever have another relationship like that. I guess that I need some kind of romance, but when girls tell me they love me I have to bite my tongue to not give my standard - you don't know me line. That paradox makes me feel like a menace to society. The girls at the club would gang up on me and tell me I was a menace. I never wanted to be misunderstood, and many girls get mad if you don't let them treat you like some piece of meat. Objectifying the opposite sex is not a thing just guys do, but I guess girls don't experience it often when men reject it. My guy friends tell me I'm weird now and girls that I don't show interest in tell me I'm gay. So many people need to define I guess. I would like to just call myself a grown-up, but most of my guy friends are older than me. I just avoid all romantic relationships at this time. I don't go over to my friends houses as much now because I have taken time off from drinking. I am very happily single atm - my female friends tell me I'm weird for saying that:) That is the reason I spend my Saturdays at home doing my homework for Cultural Diversity 210. I am on sabbatical indefinitely from relationships and my nightlife. I am done with confessions for the night. I am hitting submit reply before I erase this comment.
 
#52 ·
- Even though I'm probably much smarter than the large majority of my peers, I don't feel smart enough. I should be a genius. I should be on one of those documentaries about freakishly intelligent children who have won awards and written books. But I'm not. I feel exceptionally average.

- I really regret being into horoscopes and crystals and stuff as a kid. My mum is that sort of person, and I grew up taking that sort of stuff as fact. I learned to be skeptical. I wish I'd never been like that. Still, there's a part of me that's still interested in auras and psychic powers and numerology and all that jazz.

- I want a boyfriend. For the most part, I'm glad to be a nerdy kind of girl, but that seems to have a negative impact on my social life. I don't have time to go to parties or flirt with boys (not that I know how to anyway), and I highly doubt anyone's just going to walk up to me and ask me out. There's not really anyone at school that I would WANT to go out with, but I'm not easily attracted by looks. The guys I like are sexy because they're intelligent, creative and have great minds. Of course, they're old enough to be my dad. :dry: I'm only really attracted by personality (as long as they're still decent in the looks department - I'm allowed to be a bit shallow!) and I'm not social enough to know the personalities of the guys around me. It looks like I'm going to be one of those people who don't have their first kiss (never mind their first, uh...time) until they've left school. I don't want to have to wait! I want a sexy nerd to sweep me off my feet RIGHT NOW!

- I wish I had a better body. I know, I know. But I do. I wish I had a better face, too. A better jaw. An actual chin.
:confused:

- Sometimes I don't like my friends. I don't feel like I can be serious with them. If it's just one-on-one, I can have some really great conversations, but other times, I don't feel like I can ask them for advice or talk to them without joking around. We tried to have a band, but all we did was download tabs and do boring covers. I, personally, wanted to do something creative. I wanted to take it seriously. The rest of them, I think, just wanted to do it for fun. We couldn't write any music because nobody wanted to come up with lyrics. I've tried to write lyrics myself, but I'm terrible. I've always hated poetry and the fact that stuff like that always seems so personal. If you write a poem or a song, people will always assume that it's all about your emotions and your experiences. I don't like when people can see my emotions, even if they aren't my real emotions. I don't like when people pry. I find it really hard to be abstract, so I couldn't write lyrics about just anything. I wanted to try and write lyrics with others, but it just didn't work. These people have been my friends since I was around 5, but we've never really been a group for talking about feelings and stuff. That's probably why I like forums like PerC so much.

- There's one girl in our group (who only joined a few years ago) that we all agree can be really annoying. She's left out of our little group quite a lot, but she's one of those people that can get on with anyone and doesn't seem to mind. Sometimes, though, I wish she was more a part of the group. I find that she can be a lot easier to talk to seriously (see last point). She left the 'band' when we still rehearsed, which was both good and bad. She constantly played over everyone else and couldn't listen to direction, but we managed to get more done when she was there. Now, she does her own thing musically. I think she's written a few songs and even been part of a 'gig'. There are times when I'd like her to be my only friend, because I feel that I do need that sort of person to talk to and the rest of the group kind of ruin it. Still, I love all of my friends, and I could never stop hanging out with them.

- Being a teenager is terrible, but I don't want to leave school because I'll have responsibility. I'm afraid of my dream job because I don't think I'm good enough for it. I'm terrified of having to make decisions about college or uni and having to write applications and CVs. Sure, it'll be okay when I get there, but what if I make the wrong choice on the way? It seems like I've got to do it all perfectly the first time or the rest of my life's going to get severely screwed up.

- My mum doesn't know anything about what I do on the Internet. She has no idea I'm talking to strangers on sites like PerC or displaying my work on deviantART or uploading videos to YouTube, but that's probably where most of my time goes. I feel like I'm living a double life.

- I'm scared.
 
#53 ·
Well, since I'm commenting on other people's posts here, I might as well post my own confessions:

-I'm losing my friends at a fairly fast rate the last half year or so because we're all going to different schools/universities/colleges and I'm having a hard time finding new friends on my current school.

-I have an emotional side of which I'm very afraid at times.

-My twin sister has moved out and I'm amazed to find myself not caring about it as much as I thought I would... Now I force myself to care out of guilt but it isn't working.

-I was dumped by a girl recently and now I'm finding myself to be somewhat hesitant when it comes to flirting with new girls I meet... which I wasn't before I got dumped.

- My mum doesn't know anything about what I do on the Internet. She has no idea I'm talking to strangers on sites like PerC or displaying my work on deviantART or uploading videos to YouTube, but that's probably where most of my time goes. I feel like I'm living a double life.
Well, why don't you show some of your work to her? You don't have to tell/show her everything you do on the internet, but it can't hurt you to give her the chance of getting to know you better. Or do you think she'll disapprove of your internet activity?
 
#58 ·
In high school art class, when I had to do boring still-life and such rot, I used to add the movie theater seats and guys from MST3k over it cuz ya well hurr.. it was a joke.



Maybe I will think of moar.. :dry:
 
#63 ·
^ ILU. <3


OK, ok, I got one...

Deep, deep down, hidden somewhere in the dark labyrinthine caverns of my sick and twisted mind...


*whisper* i am a hopelessly sentimental romantic.


There, I said it D:

I mean, it's horrifying. It's embarrassing. You should SEE the things I write when I get all sappy and moody and gross and ew. And then when I'm all "better," I'll look back at it and go, "....what the hell was I thinking?!" (but I can't get rid of them cuz I like them and think they're beautiful ;-;)


This post is way too emotionally expressive for INTP forum. Sorry. Lol.
 
#65 ·
1. My hatred always loves.
1.25. I am very sweet to my boyfriend, and I see little reason why I should be ashamed of this (there is a difference between shyness and shame). Why the hell would I be cold, distant, and calculating with someone who cares for me and has done nothing to deserve it? I also don't see why I should regret it in the future if my affections were honest at the time.
1.50. The word "boyfriend" is annoying.

2. I am uncomfortable with the personalization present in statements that begin with "I".

3. You don't have to mention the possibility of me being wrong. I leave room for it, even when I judge.

4. I am terribly afraid of dying without being sick of the world from having experienced so much of it.

5. I enjoy cooking as a creative and delicious process.

6. People describe me as being sweet. I am nice to many, but accommodate to few.

7. You cannot convince me that when I cry, it is not a sign of weakness. Therefore, I am a hypocrite. So is everyone else.

11. I write for the sake of writing and wordplay, which may involve unconventional approaches, and may be the simplest piece of prose or poetry. It's not an expression of my soul, it's more like a puzzle with rhyme schemes and patterns. If you have a problem with the way I write, respect it or stop reading. I'm not disgracing the English language just because I use words by their archaic or etymological meaning.

12. I like clothes, shoes, and perfume, though most times I dress simplistically.

13. Sometimes, I indulge in romantic comedies and tubs of pineapple coconut ice cream. But I hate sappy shit.

14. Because sometimes writing and drawing are so easy for me to do, it is difficult for me to believe that others lack this potential. I try to motivate others, although I dislike telling them how to do things - especially when it comes to originality!

15. I CAN'T STAND POLITICS OR SOCIAL REGULATIONS.
15.25. I ALSO CAN'T STAND INSECTS.
15.50. OR WASABI SAUCE.
15.65. OR DIRTY KITCHENS.
15.75. OR WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY HATE MATH OR SCIENCE OR QUOTE FAMOUS SCIENTISTS ON SHITTY FONT THAT REFLECTS ZERO PROFESSIONALISM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW WONDERFUL THOMAS EDISON WAS TO FEATURE HIM ON A 320x400 THUMBNAIL WITH SPARKLING BUTTERFLIES FLYING FROM THE CORNERS IN CURSIVE FONT OR QUOTE EINSTEIN ON YOUR FB STATUS WITH A HEART NEXT TO IT?!

16. I am irritable. I practice ambidexterity. I juxtapose unrelated things.

17. I'm aware of way more things than I bother to say.

18. I fucking love cursing.
 
#67 ·
QUOTE FAMOUS SCIENTISTS ON SHITTY FONT THAT REFLECTS ZERO PROFESSIONALISM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW WONDERFUL THOMAS EDISON WAS TO FEATURE HIM ON A 320x400 THUMBNAIL WITH SPARKLING BUTTERFLIES FLYING FROM THE CORNERS IN CURSIVE FONT OR QUOTE EINSTEIN ON YOUR FB STATUS WITH A HEART NEXT TO IT?!
I actually lawled at this. Good job. xD

P.S. I hate math. :B
 
#66 ·
1.) I had my front tooth knocked out seven times, a torn bicep and ACL, a broken arm, and a separated shoulder.

2.) I have read every book by Kurt Vonnegut.

3.) I lost my virginity to a middle-aged Indonesian female boxer that used me for a rebound.

4.) I do not completely believe in anything, not even this statement.

5.) I would not mind having sex with a member of the same sex if said member was sexy.

6.) I do not think I have ever loved another person romantically, nor do I care to.

7.) I saw my father die on the same day that I returned from a strip club.

8.) I consider myself a realist but I do not know what reality is.

9.) I really enjoy finding or learning about fallacies in ideas.

10.) I listen to audio books to help me go to sleep.

11.) Sometimes I become so bored when dealing with people that I ask strange questions to gauge their reactions. For instance, after reading the Polygamy thread on this forum, I asked a group of random people what they thought about it, which led to a colorful discussion.
 
#73 ·
It took me the better part of four years to come to terms with being bisexual. You'd think, with all that introspection and self-analysis, it wouldn't have been so hard.

Until I was about 19, I didn't believe being in love was a real thing. I thought people were deluding themselves.

I wish I could be as outgoing and confident sober as I am when I'm drunk. When I'm drunk, I talk to everyone, everyone is fascinating, and none of the fear of being thought strange or crossing some invisible social line exists. I wish I could channel this in day to day life. I'm trying.

I read tarot cards, and honestly believe in synchronicity, perhaps more than I believe in anything else.

I am vain as hell.

I vacillate between thinking I am stronger, smarter, and all around better than nearly the entire population and being honestly fascinated by everyone and wondering what I could do to help them.

Similarly, I swing between making a very threatening and unapproachable persona (and being proud of it!) and wondering why most people don't like me. I'm a nice person, really!

I am very smart and have a long list of skills and talents. There are only a couple of things I could name that I'm bad at (sales and playing the piccolo). Yet, I have nothing in my life that I could call success. I have to blame myself for that.

I wish I could be more organized. I wish I was less lazy. I wish I could consistently care about things.

I think, if there was something I was "meant" to do, it was write. I've spent most of the past decade running from that, trying to do something more "useful" and "necessary." As soon as I get this being gainfully employed thing down, I'm going to finally give it my all.

Some characters in books, movies, anime, and video games mean more to me, have gathered more emotional response from me, and have all around been more real and interesting to me than people I've known for years.

I read and write fanfiction even though I think it is one of the most pointless in the world. Yet, it makes me and others happy, so I guess it's not that pointless?

I spend more time procrastinating than I spend doing almost anything else. It makes me feel terrible and useless.

I am almost never sure that I am doing the right thing when it's important. The one time I was, it totally blew

I could probably count the people I've ever really loved on one hand, yet I would do anything for those people, down to kill or die for them.

If I lived in a society that allowed it, and provided my sword skills were up to snuff, I would have probably killed about a dozen people in duels by now.

This whole thread is rather ridiculously emotional for us folks, isn't it?
 
#76 · (Edited)
I speak about people at my college using their names so my parents will think that I talk to more than eight people.
They're either in my classes or my roommate, and never ask me to "hang out" outside of classes.

I haven't had to make friends in over ten years, and I don't know how to anymore. I have a conversation with someone, and then go home and tell my roommate about it. Apparently it's important to find out someone's name, a task I just can't remember to do.

I have mastered the art of being unattractive. I'm decent looking, albeit unconventionally. I'm pretty sure my endocrine system has managed to create a hormone that tells guys to not come within eight feet of me unless someone's life is in danger.

I hate knowing lots of things. Useless things. Because when someone gets it wrong, I correct them. Have I ever met them? Nope. Will I ever speak to them again? Surely not. Can I just stand there and watch while people spread incorrect facts, or fail to use a metaphor correctly? Never, and I have offended many people because of this.

All I really want is a social life. I want someone to want to hang out with me.

All events are unrelated.
 
#78 ·
I sometimes wish i could be more extroverted.
I get sad because i feel very misunderstood and isolated.
I want to not be by myself but at the same time it's the only then I feel completely comfortable.
I hate typing this because I feel like I'm not adding anything to conversation.
I wish I could stop thinking and JUST DO IT!
 
#81 ·
I am...so damn repressed I can't even confess anything.lol

I wish I could be seen as feminine, as much as smart.

I don't read as much as I should, which leaves me frustrated when I see others much dumber than me, in a spiritual sense, being treated like "refined" people, while I stand there, feeling like a peasant, because I have nothing to add to a literary discussion.

I don't like computers, despite being somewhat addicted to the Internet. :tongue:

When I was 8, I threw a heavy shellfish out of my 9 store window(I wanted to see what happens). It very nearly missed a guy's head.

I enjoy causing controversy through my social awkwardness.

I wish I could stop double-guessing myself all the time-it's shortened my life span by 10 years, at least(and I'm only 21)

I also wish I could understand people better, that way I wouldn't have to talk to them like I would to dogs, or toddlers.

I often times still ask myself if I'm deeply flawed, because I have a somewhat "unusual" personality.

I am always drawn to emotional men. In fact, lack of emotionalism is the surest turn-off for me.

I dream of someone I can have a deep emotional connection with, and great physical chemistry, while also having good understanding and mutual tolerance on a mental level.

I wish I could get rid of fear of failure and death.
 
#83 ·
Oh! And...

- Despite that I'd swear I am high or drunk right now... I'm generally embarrassed to admit to others that I've never actually been drunk/high before. I think I feel it's an experience I "should have" but haven't had yet. One day, I'll get the guts to lose control over my mind for a while...

Edit: one more thing

I wish I could get rid of fear of failure and death.
^ that was actually the original reason I saw this and wanted to respond. I have an irrational subconscious fear of dying... like when tired/worn out I may be driving and suddenly feel awkward, wondering what it would be like to jerk the wheel to one side... and wondering if I had some sort of "mental episode" if I would do such a thing.

Consciously, I have no fear of dying, just an upset (highly frustrating some times) "idea" that life will not be completely understood/known by me before I die in the future. But subconsciously I think I have some deep fear of dying or losing control over my own mind... or something. Bleh time to go to sleep.
 
#82 ·
My confessions, or as many as I "can" give:

- I like this thread, it makes me feel like I can relate to some others. I haven't read it all yet but am going to stay subscribed.
- I forced INTJ down my own throat since grade school--maybe for two decades now--and have only recently admitted to myself that my Ne and Ti are much stronger than my Ni and Te.
- Since 11 and up until 19 or 20, I believed masturbating was wrong, as I was thinking of women lustfully. So when I did, I hated myself, and I did a lot; now (I think) I am a strong sx/sp type with a lot of pent up sexual energy... lol. To this day I still conjure images/scenes of imaginary people I've never met or seen, and don't use pornography.
- I used to drive a sporty Lexus but always wanted to re-badge it as a Toyota so people wouldn't look at it as a status symbol.
- I've only ever kissed or been intimate with 2 women (excluding the expected family/etc.)
- I've entertained the idea of learning the rules of various sports so I could "hang out" with co-workers I thought were cool. (But that's way in the past, hah.)
- I have strong conflicting feelings, all the time, about being lonely but needing "alone time."
- Sometimes when cornered in any sort of "serious social interactive situation" I cannot respond well, even if I am completely innocent or had good intent. (I.e. in a relationship, questioning my intention/action, or at work, questioning the results or purpose behind direction I give, etc.) This frustrates me a lot when I stutter, say something stupid in response (sometimes inaccurate!), or even nervously laugh--consequently causing me to feel like they see me as guilty/wrong.
- Once I cried in front of my ISTJ boss when challenged at work, as it all seemed so clear as to why something happened (I don't remember what), but nobody understood. I've always looked up to him, but always wonder if he still remembers that and identifies it as some horrible weakness.
- On some level I feel like I care too much about what others, usually groups, think or feel. Sometimes I'll have urges to say something nice in a group setting to "ease the flow" of conversation or reduce tension. Most of the time I remain in the background and ignore any such feelings I get.
- Sometimes I feel like I need to spend more money on "fun" stuff. I usually spend money on myself (aside from fast food) about 3 or 4 times a year, and it's always something useful. I've bought computer games, but always at the request of others, who want me to play with them or experience the game with them.
- I'm a bit embarrassed but sharing shit like this makes me feel better at the moment.
- I'm hypoglycemic, and get overly emotional and/or single-minded during such spats. For example, right now I haven't eaten anything for... 8.5 hours as lunch in the middle of my 13 hour shift. I really need to eat every 4 hours or so to maintain an "even keel" chemically.
- I used to play a computer game called Counter Strike, but ended up playing it just to laugh--for some reason, shooting and killing a bunch of kids as Terrorists or Counter Terrorists was hilarious to me, and I'd often sit behind my computer giggling uncontrollably for 30 minutes at a time--until I got banned from XYZ server for being way better than everyone (they thought I was hacking), heheh.
- I generally work 4 days in a row right now between 13-16 hours, and by the end of day 4 I generally find myself laughing at anything/anyone no matter what, and try desperately to hide it from the people I'm supposed to be setting an example for.
- I love to laugh, but don't laugh enough. In fact I can usually watch an entire comedy movie without laughing at all, just snickering or chuckling here and there.
- I think I've had enough of today, and am going to go to sleep... lol (literally).
 
#92 ·
EDIT: never mind.


I fluctuate between this option and just not giving a shit what others think every time I visit PerC now. I'll be editing soon too if I don't get over myself lol.

Oh, a confession.

- I've been buying random fast food for weeks 'cause I'm too lazy to walk into my kitchen and make something. WTF? Isn't it less lazy to take 5 minutes and make something than go on a drive and buy something? Doesn't make any sense.
 
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