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Turning 30 in less than three weeks

[INTP] 
3K views 51 replies 27 participants last post by  HAL 
#1 ·
How do you guys all feel about turning 30? I didn't have a great first three decades. 25-30 was pretty good I guess, but everything before that was something I will never reflect back on or include in a linear chain of memories. It was just a confusing blur. I just left it behind and started over. Narcissistic parent on one end, emotionally clueless/inept one on the other. Although financial support was never an issue. But my point isn't to talk about my childhood. Just about the feeling of missed opportunities and experiences, and of hitting the first line of "old." When I turned 20 I had 10 years to 30. Now I have 10 years until middle age. And everyone says 30-40 goes a lot faster than 20-30! At the same time I'm trying to reboot my life and maybe even completely change careers... and even feel like an adult or get into a really healthy relationship for the first time.

How frightening and sad! But perhaps my idea that everyone else "has it all together" by 30 is not exactly correct.
 
#6 ·
There really isn't much point...

you change, the world changes,

if you've completed your life goals by the time you're 24, then what then? hookers and blow? settling down and starting a family? freezing your perc account so you can safely join a religious cult dedicated to hello kitty without judgement?

financial security has its perks, but millions aren't even millions anymore...

struggle gives way to hope, even if we're a faithless lot, in humanity, physicality, as invisible strings... completion is an intp's self defeat, no?

could you really imagine ever being truly content?

procrastinating is our zen
 
#7 ·
How would 30-40 go faster than 20-30?! It's 10 years in both cases. I don't care about age - stuff happens and I do my thing, whatever it is. Since I never planned to be a professional athlete of any sorts how would aging matters? At least when you talk to people above 30 you stand a chance finding someone who isn't an immature idiot.
 
#12 ·
Turning 30 isn't a big thing. Life continues to go forward. You realize that you know so little and that the world is your oyster. That adults which are 25 are no smarter than the ones that are 35, just more experienced. You get a little more stuck in your ways, you are often maturing even more than you were in you were in your 20s.

It's just a date defined by society, don't worry about it too much. Just be a little better than you were yesterday.
 
#18 ·
yeah I'm close to 30 now too. I get that "holy shit, holy shit, gotta do something, what am I going to do?!" freak out feeling momentarily. But then it just passes, and I don't know what it wants from me. I mean, I don't know what the fuck is going on either. I've never truly been in a state of regret, I've never been jealous of others (unless through some form of disenfranchisement, but even this hardly), and any time someone tries to motivate me this way or ignore me this way I just roll over my eyes and nothing is to be done.

I would much prefer to be distracted with something that makes me completely forget about such trivial social gradients. I mean what other point is there. Play the game and become lord of the pretentious? nah. Make my life worth living to the point I can make others' lives worth living, that is the point. Who cares about age, that's all I want.
 
#19 ·
30 was strange for me too. I'm not much into fashion and such, but I noticed all my wardrobe was some weird grunge/lumberjack/surfer hybrid vibe, and I said to myself "Is this how a 30 year old man dresses? I have no fucking clue how to dress now..."
 
#31 ·
The perception of how quickly time passes is a function of how much changes in that time span.

The older you are, the more of the world you've seen, and the less change you experience. On average.
 
#43 ·
I don't mind it. I hated being young. One of my favorite moments was when I was no longer a teenager.

It's not like aging is something that's a surprise. The only thing that scares me about aging are the health issues.
 
#46 ·
I think it largely depends on where you're at in life now. Say, in my teens I was extremely overprotected so I couldn't wait to grow up, get out of my parents' house, start a great career and change the world. Obviously changing the world hasn't happened, and being INTP has caused me to switch between so many careers and jobs, so I'm STILL stuck in life albeit with a different set of problems - a serious lack of direction and a yearning for financial freedom.

I can only say there is a "potential" of it getting better in your 30s, since hopefully you are more self-aware now and have given yourself a fair few experiences. From the outside though, I don't see many added perks to being in your 20s so it really is up to you to step up, make better decisions and grab life by the balls!
 
#49 ·
I'm over 40 and still don't 'have it together'. In fact, I know what I want to achieve less now than at any other point in my life. But do you know what? At my age I have accepted that and that's fine :) I am who I am and I really don't give a shit any more that I don't have a huge circle of friends like 'normal' people; I don't have to put up with their pathetic drama and games and I'm actually pretty happy where I am now. I am so not grown up but again that's fine. I don't meet anyone's expectations and that, frankly, is awesome - I am who I am and the rest of the world can deal with me on my terms now.
 
#52 ·
Fascinating thread.

I'm very very close to turning 27. I don't fear the approach of my 30th year either.

I'm actually quite enjoying growing up. It might be just that I feel I haven't wasted my previous years? Ok actually I did, big style, from roughly 18-23 years old, but I still had a life and did stuff, and now I have ten times more of a life, and I don't even know how. I'm not richer, just I've progressed intellectually and experientially (<--- what a fucking ugly word). Mainly I just feel like every day I become wiser and more experienced. And yes, I get older (this year I've especially felt it - Chinese air pollution and poor diet has noticeably knocked me down a few pegs), but I feel increasingly comfortable in my own skin. Social pressures are easing, I feel less desire to conform. etc etc. I'm definitely happier day by day.

There is one thing, though, which fills me with precisely equal measures of excitement and utter dread.

5 years ago I could have never, ever, EVER predicted where my life was about to take me. Not that it's anything special. I just know for certain that nothing at all has played out in a way I would have ever guessed. And so I now know that 5 years from now could also be astronomically different, in ways I am yet to even dream of.

One's own life and future is a fucking fascinating and terrifying thought.

Go with it, good sir!
 
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