[INTP] Girly female INTP's?

Girly female INTP's?

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This is a discussion on Girly female INTP's? within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; So am I the only female INTP who feels really, really girly? I know a trait of ours is supposed ...

  1. #1
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Girly female INTP's?

    So am I the only female INTP who feels really, really girly? I know a trait of ours is supposed to be gender neutrality. It's not that I am girly because I respect gender roles, but it's just how I feel. Kind of like a gay man feels, I'd presume. And my rationality does get in the way of it sometimes (I don't need to waste money on more shoes; appearances are stupid & don't matter; I'm just a victim of marketing & our materialistic culture), but underneath it's still there (OMG SHOES!!!) ...and if I have to hang out with guys with no girly companionship for a while, I go crazy! However, making friends with girls is a whole other issue...for some reason it's never been easy for me, & lately I find myself making friends with guys much more easily. I also seem to usually connect with guys more on an intellectual level than with girls (no offense, ladies...), although obviously not on this "girly" level. Which is why I'm going crazy. Thoughts?
    Lucretius, ozu, coquetteminette and 6 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    I'm pretty girly too (sometimes) because I like aesthetics and embraced fashion at a young age. But I was raised that way so I didn't know any better, now it's just habit. I still enjoy making myself look good, but it's not as important to me as it used to be and I feel much more comfortable now than in the past. The only annoyance is that I am painfully self aware and self-conscious and I don't like being treated different or like a helpless female because sometimes I decide to embrace my femininity. Although on some occasions it can be worth it and it's definitely an outlet to express creativity which for me can be very fun.

  3. #3
    Unknown

    Are there any INTPs who have a secret desire to indulge in girly things like dresses and stuff...but somehow can't bring themselves to do it? In my room, I put my hair down and embrace the 'pretty' side of me, but I can't show that side to people (including my own family who have gotten used to me being my hobo-looking self at home.)
    biscuit20, Froody Blue Gem and Chyceria thanked this post.

  4. #4

    I'm a geekette. If I'm in the mood or I feel like annoying people, I can "prettify" myself enough to look pretty decent. You're not going to keep me away from my jeans-and-T-shirt standard, though, which seriously annoys my mom.
    Froody Blue Gem thanked this post.

  5. #5
    Unknown

    Well i have been interested in fashion only as of lately, really. i used to have no interest at all but im starting to like it since its kind of a quiet way to tell someone "who you are". (yeah, and im just realizing this as a 15 year old female.. pfft. I always used to wonder what the deal was with my younger esfj sister and clothing)

    Id say im "girly" in the sense i like dresses (i think they are more practical, too) and curled hair, and i really dont like the real "boyish girl" look. i have a definite sense of style for myself, but usually i look pretty plain. (jeans/tshirt kinda thing...)

    i really know what i want to look like but i feel that it releases too much of "myself" into the public.


    as far as personality goes, though, im anything but girly. im really nerdy in that sense


    Quote Originally Posted by Muser View Post
    Are there any INTPs who have a secret desire to indulge in girly things like dresses and stuff...but somehow can't bring themselves to do it? In my room, I put my hair down and embrace the 'pretty' side of me, but I can't show that side to people (including my own family who have gotten used to me being my hobo-looking self at home.)
    yes! i totally feel the same way... i tend to not even let my family know who i am in terms of fashion/style. i also look like a hobo at home.. hahaha :p i like the way you worded it, i can completely relate.
    Last edited by Monty; 07-20-2011 at 08:25 PM. Reason: added signature

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by DesolateIridescence View Post
    So am I the only female INTP who feels really, really girly?
    I'm actually very girly in person, in terms of how people scan me. (i.e., I don't get scanned as butch or andro or masculine, I'm scanned as very female).

    I know a trait of ours is supposed to be gender neutrality.
    I think it's common -- i.e., center of bell curve -- but there are still those of us on the fringes. The 16 types are in a sense just 16 distinct "pockets" within the full spectrum of humanity, and so if you can imagine, there are trailing edges to each of those "lumps" in the population where the categories mix together.

    It's not that I am girly because I respect gender roles, but it's just how I feel. Kind of like a gay man feels, I'd presume.
    I guess in the sense that gay men are gay, but still men in their self-concept, without having to think twice about it.

    I'm not girly either in order to conform, I just am who I am, and that's how I scan.

    And my rationality does get in the way of it sometimes (I don't need to waste money on more shoes; appearances are stupid & don't matter; I'm just a victim of marketing & our materialistic culture), but underneath it's still there (OMG SHOES!!!)
    Preaching to the choir... I love shoes. I also love eyeliner, dangly earrings, leggings/hose, purses, and charm bracelets. What can I say?

    Then again, I like all sorts of computer games, intellectual discussions, driving fast, blowing things up and/or hurling them long distances; and while I'm annoyed if I break a nail, it's not going to ruin my afternoon, and I don't mind sweat/getting dirty/scratching/bruising myself up if necessary to do something fun. I'm pragmatic in how I approach things. I tend to get more ISTPish in terms of interests as I get out of my head, I guess.

    ...and if I have to hang out with guys with no girly companionship for a while, I go crazy! However, making friends with girls is a whole other issue...for some reason it's never been easy for me, & lately I find myself making friends with guys much more easily. I also seem to usually connect with guys more on an intellectual level than with girls (no offense, ladies...), although obviously not on this "girly" level. Which is why I'm going crazy. Thoughts?
    Well, for me, I just have a hindrance in "making friends" in general, at least to the depth I require to call someone a "friend" rather than just "someone i know who I am positively inclined toward." I mean, a friend is someone I can say, "Hey, I'm hungry, want to walk to the snack bar with me?" and they'll drop everything and walk and we'll talk the whole way. (And it might sound weird, but my friends and I will go the bathroom together and keep talking while we're in there doing our thing, then loiter around the sinks and talk. Sometimes I am laughing at myself silently, while it is all happening, because it's like a bad movie. But why should I conform to one particular image over another? I just should do what I want to do at the time and be myself.) Anyway, what trouble I have in socializing isn't just with women but with men too, but I seem equally able to have close male and female friends... although guys typically don't like to go into some areas (like emotional/relational ones) whereas my female friends do easily. So I typically can engage them on more areas than I can the guys... although with guys usually it's nice to not have to worry about the relational aspects and/or how I'm perceived; it's typically just about whatever the current topic is, and it's usually something fun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Muser View Post
    Are there any INTPs who have a secret desire to indulge in girly things like dresses and stuff...but somehow can't bring themselves to do it? In my room, I put my hair down and embrace the 'pretty' side of me, but I can't show that side to people (including my own family who have gotten used to me being my hobo-looking self at home.)
    ha ha, that's hilarious!

    "Stanley, I caught our daughter in her room tonight. I was shocked. She was spinning around in a dress and had lipstick on. I think we need to take her to a shrink first thing in the morning, before the family shame destroys us."

    Quote Originally Posted by natalie1207 View Post
    I'm pretty girly too (sometimes) because I like aesthetics and embraced fashion at a young age.
    I have a good aesthetic sense too. I noticed it first with my art abilities, but then realized it translated into putting clothes together, dealing with makeup, etc.

    The only annoyance is that I am painfully self aware and self-conscious and I don't like being treated different or like a helpless female because sometimes I decide to embrace my femininity.
    Exactly.

    (Yes, I'm a girl, and can do everything girls can do, including expressing femininity; but don't you dare expect that I'm less somehow, or that I can't take care of myself, or that I'm not as tough or as competent as guys. Because you would be wrong.)

    I sometimes wonder how much femininity we end up suppressing just to avoid being put down or dismissed in some way. I think autonomy and competence is so prioritized by INTPs in general (both men and women) that INTP women likely distance ourselves from commonly accepted definitions of femininity just to properly broadcast we are such.
    darksoul, TiNeSi, DesolateIridescence and 1 others thanked this post.

  7. #7
    Unknown

    @purpledog61 Glad someone else can relate too!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennywocky View Post
    "Stanley, I caught our daughter in her room tonight. I was shocked. She was spinning around in a dress and had lipstick on. I think we need to take her to a shrink first thing in the morning, before the family shame destroys us."
    The way you put it actually makes me scared of myself. Twirling around in a dress and lipstick...they'd think I was possessed.

    I've tried to analyze the root of my problem and have come to the conclusion that I'm scared of people thinking about me in that way. And when I say 'that', I mean being associated with sex or hotness. It makes me feel dirty just thinking about it. As for why I feel that way? Further analysis is in order.
    Mum reckons I need a shrink. heh
    darksoul and biscuit20 thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Let's see... the only time I was extremely girly was for prom with hair, makeup, and dress. Even though I didn't like it, people were shocked. They thought I cleaned up good and looked really pretty.

    I don't wear make-up. I'm lazy and not a morning person. I have thick hair, and it takes to long to style. So, I throw it up in a pony tail or leave it down. But, sometimes play with different styles in the mirror.

    I'm starting to get more girly about clothes, except I will still sometimes wear the comfy boyish outfits...

    I'm working on the girly process slowly. Hopefully, there will be a point wear I do wear make-up, dress nice, and style my hair. For now, I'll start with clothes and work my way up. I'm just starting to embrace my feminine side.
    biscuit20 thanked this post.

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Dart07 View Post
    I have thick hair, and it takes to long to style. So, I throw it up in a pony tail or leave it down.
    Hair really can be a pain especially when it's thick. On the weekends, when I'm not going to work, I tend to just pony tail it if it's giving me issues. That tends to be the way of things, to some degree... efficiency overrides other concerns.
    Dart07 thanked this post.

  10. #10
    Unknown


    I'm a pretty, pretty Princess.
    MachinegunDojo, Fiddler, Valiums and 8 others thanked this post.


     
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