INFP here. For some reason, I just attract you people. I have no idea how or why. For friendship, and now relationships. I really admire you guys and can feel completely in tune with you. Well, at least the ones I've known. I've seen you guys stereotyped as robots, but I've actually never experienced an unkind INTP. You are deep but intentional thinkers. Your creativity is amazing and I love your willingness to go with the flow. If you're robots, then I like your roboticness.
I'm interested in this male INTP right now. I know he's interested in me, at least physically, which he has sort of verbalized. And he's a great guy. I don't know if there are other girls he's talking to, though. I just know he finds me attractive because he's told me. This is a good sign, because I was with another INTP who was so indecisive about whether or not he wanted a relationship that he never ever touched me when we were alone. He never even held my hand, hugged me or expressed interest to do so. Then, when I finally asked him, he verbalized that he didn't really want to be with me for a long list of very all-over-the-place reasons that he was too afraid to tell me up to that point. I haven't really heard from him since.
I don't attribute it to his personality, though, because even my platonic INTP relationships have been incredibly touchy feely. Hugs, foot-rubs, you name it. I give freely and will be here for you to cry on my shoulder and will rub your shoulders when you're tense, if I feel close enough to you.
In terms of dating experience, I fall under the category of "next to none." You know, that category that's literally just one step away from "none" and two steps away from "absolutely none." This is not the first one I've been sort of romantic with, and I want to make this work if it is meant to work. I just want to keep his interest and make him feel good. I want to build him up as a person in a genuine way.
As much as I love you guys, I have consequentially been hurt by INTPs in the past. They weren't instances to be taken lightly and at least one of them was a very deep hurt because of how much investment both of us had in said relationship. The hurt I'm talking about had to do, in both instances, with loyalty and indecisiveness. I might be a perceiver, but I am fiercely loyal and will open myself up to my most trusted allies without any concealment. I don't know everything I want in a relationship, as I'm young and still learning, but I do want someone who wants to be in a relationship with me, and to not die alone. (<INFP melodrama). Loyalty. In both instances, I was sort of blindsided by the rejection because INTP was lost in their thought cycle and unable to tell me what they were considering for a very long time, or that there was anything wrong. I could sense something was up from unspoken cues, but it was frustrating not to know how the other person felt until I got hurt. After much emotional investment, INFP had heart broken in the same places. Twice.
I need to know how to make this not happen. (<Excuse awkward/poor wording of my English, which was done purely for emphasis). This guy is really special, and I don't know exactly why, but I feel it. I just hope he feels the same way. I haven't heard from him in a while, and he only really texts me when I text him. When we talk, though, we talk for a very long time. Oh, wise INTPs! Give me your insight and tell me how to proceed!
Do you have any words of wisdom? And what should I say to him/do to keep his interest piqued and let him know I care without scaring him away? What do you most appreciate a potential mate saying to you or doing for you?