[INTP] Self-Improvement: Where do you want to start? - Page 2

Self-Improvement: Where do you want to start?

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This is a discussion on Self-Improvement: Where do you want to start? within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I've found that impatiences intensifies as we get older at least for me anyway. I'm not really sure why this ...

  1. #11
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I've found that impatiences intensifies as we get older at least for me anyway. I'm not really sure why this happiens but I see it in myself and I don't like it but it's very hard to control. There does seem to be a direct relation with impatiences and dealing with idiots but it's still something I need to work on.

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by grayjay103 View Post
    My biggest thing: impatience. If there's one thing that's really holding me back from my truest potential, it's my inability to wait on people to grow, give them the benefit of the doubt. I know that reasonably it would be the best thing for me in the long run (the Tit-for-Tat method), but I still struggle.

    Well, there's my vent. How about you others?
    Oddly enough, my flaw with people and their problems is being too patient, not enough patient. Because I see big-picture and possibilities, and because I don't like to interfere with natural processes, I tend to wait far too long and give people too many chances to change, and then sometimes have to carry a lot of grief on my shoulders waiting around for them to work through their crap. I've had to learn to draw lines in the sand earlier, so that I don't have to put up with more than I really ought to.

    But we're all different, obviously.

    I would to say my biggest flaw at this time is still being undisciplined in some ways. It's difficult for me to get out of the 'go with the flow' mode and instead impose myself on the process in order to take charge of my life. I have definitely improved in this area and have made some very large, very scary commitments and changes in my life, but in the day to day, whether it comes down to eating healthy, or saving money for the future, or dealing with people, or completing projects, what I really need to keep working on is just setting goals for myself and then making them the focus rather than being tempted to distraction by new information/possibilities.

  3. #13
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Self-improvement....hmmm.....hard to keep the list short.

    1. I've been working on not interrupting people while in a conversation. I could stand some improvement there.

    2. Not skipping my daily meditation.

    3. Making more frequent phone calls to my family on the west coast.

    4. Stop procrastinating over making all the medical appointments I should make. Even thinking about them causes instant fatigue.

    5. Read more books.
    Jennywocky thanked this post.

  4. #14
    Unknown Personality


    Honestly my biggest problem is selective ADHD.... it's a lot like selective hearing. I've found the sound of the word "work" really brings it out in full force.
    Beyond_B thanked this post.

  5. #15
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennywocky View Post
    Oddly enough, my flaw with people and their problems is being too patient, not enough patient. Because I see big-picture and possibilities, and because I don't like to interfere with natural processes, I tend to wait far too long and give people too many chances to change, and then sometimes have to carry a lot of grief on my shoulders waiting around for them to work through their crap. I've had to learn to draw lines in the sand earlier, so that I don't have to put up with more than I really ought to.

    But we're all different, obviously.
    Being a nice and forgiving person can really fuck you up. I think I may have the same tendencies, but the people usually screw me over in a way I would not have expected, the human ego disgusts me sometimes.
    Jennywocky thanked this post.

  6. #16

    Quote Originally Posted by sly View Post
    Being a nice and forgiving person can really fuck you up. I think I may have the same tendencies, but the people usually screw me over in a way I would not have expected, the human ego disgusts me sometimes.
    I don't really find that i get screwed over directly, as much as just put my own needs and interests on hold to unreasonable degrees because I happen to be more aware of where things need to go. I tend to shoulder burdens because I'm aware of them earlier and it takes others longer to see them and thus pony up on their end. I think I only get really mad/upset when I suspect someone does see what needs to be done, finally, but makes a choice on some level to not invest/take responsibility for their part; then I feel dissed because I was willing and they weren't.

    still, it puts me on an unfair disadvantage, and I've had to start learning to stand up for myself more, not shouldering the load, and not over-investing. I'm human, and I need to be fair about my own needs. I've also decided I'm sometimes not doing those people any favors by picking up the slack for them.

  7. #17
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennywocky View Post
    I don't really find that i get screwed over directly, as much as just put my own needs and interests on hold to unreasonable degrees because I happen to be more aware of where things need to go. I tend to shoulder burdens because I'm aware of them earlier and it takes others longer to see them and thus pony up on their end. I think I only get really mad/upset when I suspect someone does see what needs to be done, finally, but makes a choice on some level to not invest/take responsibility for their part; then I feel dissed because I was willing and they weren't.

    still, it puts me on an unfair disadvantage, and I've had to start learning to stand up for myself more, not shouldering the load, and not over-investing. I'm human, and I need to be fair about my own needs. I've also decided I'm sometimes not doing those people any favors by picking up the slack for them.
    Being overly sensitive and having a higher level of awareness is why I would feel this way. Shouldering burdens and realize that people negatively deviate from the amount of responsibility you decide to invest in things, especially if things are supposed to work out in their favor and not yours. It really upsets me

  8. #18
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I've actually tested as an INTJ. It's INTP most of the time though. I do feel like I have a well developed J and when I'm in the habit of work, I kinda want to keep on going and actually enjoy being busy. Though I wouldn't mind hearing your tips. I'd say I'm driven enough to act on them.

  9. #19

    Quote Originally Posted by Serial Hero View Post
    Ah, the first one is exactly what I'd post. Any solutions to this? Perhaps we should take this to those NF forums lol
    What? the acceptance of emotions and the resulting low self-esteem from doubt, etc?

    Strangely enough, I reasoned my way through it. Once I accepted that I wasn't a machine but human, that emotions were part of who I was and not just something inflicted on me from the outside, that having my rationality and my emotions in balance with each other was part of being well-rounded and healthy and happy, that it was okay to not always be perfectly rational and reasonable, that sometimes life doesn't make sense, that I won't be able to perceive or comprehend everything and that it's okay, that experience is a valuable teacher rather than superfluous, that detachment is not always a virtue and that engagement of life and living in the flow of the moment is something that actually helps me feel alive (and thus provides me with yet another dimension of what it means to be alive)....

    .... all those things, once i embraced them rather than fought them, helped me get over a lot of fear of my emotions and of constantly second-guessing myself. So much time is spent trying to predict situations and never make any mistakes or take any risks, but a lot of life is simply about living, not about preplanning or avoiding. The truth is that taking my rationality to an extreme left me very unhappy and unsatisfied, I felt like I was missing part of what it meant to be alive; but i no longer really feel that way, I think I've worked out a good balance ... my rationality still steers me and I avoid a lot of pitfalls and in the end things still have to make "sense to me" but at the same time I let myself drink a lot more deeply in the moment and experience sensation and emotion, as part of myself.

  10. #20

    Quote Originally Posted by sly View Post
    Being overly sensitive and having a higher level of awareness is why I would feel this way. Shouldering burdens and realize that people negatively deviate from the amount of responsibility you decide to invest in things, especially if things are supposed to work out in their favor and not yours. It really upsets me
    lol....

    well, honestly, sometimes I really get pissed and feel let down by people I thought were invested in me. I didn't want to accept they could hurt me like that, but the reality is that I was really disappointed in them. it helped to realize it was there in me, and to admit it as a fact, and then I could let it go. Kind of like an "American Beauty" moment.... some people are so caught up in their little lives and pettiness and unable to see the big picture, but there's a lot of beauty left in the world anyway, even if they screw me over sometimes, and I'm not going to miss it because of them. It just is what it is. :)
    sly thanked this post.


     
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