This is a discussion on Q&A about dating INTPs, and INTP dating: within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by alexande Take it from me, stay away from that girl. I know her type all to well ...
Any of you guys (or gals) done any cold approaches to meet women (or guys for you ladies) at like, say a bookstore? It feels to me like I am bugging someone if I want to go up and say "hi" to an attractive lady or something, or perhaps she may think I am a creep or something. But I guess if there is a "buying" signal, it may be a bit easier. What does a socially inept INTP look for before trying a cold approach?
I am sure after a few random, Hello's I may be able to squeak in something more eventually.
This sitting around and waiting for a lady to fall into my lap is not working and honestly, I am starting to feel like a loser. Like I am missing out on life because everyone else around me has a relationship or has kids, or what not. Never mind the fact that I don't drive (pathetic, I know, but I really was never too interested in driving) and live at home mostly because I don't want to be totally alone.
Gosh.. does anyone want to know how to pick up a bloke?
blokes are generally so much easier... and generally more fun. Seriously, you throw a chick up against the wall, grab her crotch, look deeply in her eyes and say "woof" and she's likely to knee you in the groin, pepper spray ya and scream assault or rape. While in the right pub, most dudes will buy you a drink, ask for your number or give you a quickie behind the dumpsters out back.
the politics with chicks is just a mess from whether you should pick up the check or go dutch... and the truth of the matter is you're pretty much screwed either way.
Still, if you're just horny, it's the easier route to go, most dudes on the scene, you'll have time to discuss those kinds of things after you both get off and you're more clear headed, relaxed and have a real reason to get something to eat... besides swimming, there's some things that are better to do on an empty stomach or a couple of hours after you've last ate.
Sure, many lasses have heard all the lines and have been warned about the nice guys to the jerks, but if you're intentions are more than just saying hello or striking up a conversation for the slow path of getting to know someone.... then you mind as well just surrender to being one of those guys and use a pick up line.
'course if you see a woman you'd like to approach but anxiety is getting in the way, then stop in the nearest loo and take matters into your own hands... just watch out for the dude in the next stall and security. Finish up, wash your hands, and go on and introduce yourself without all that awkward tension in the way.
You really can't avoid being a creeper or a clown... again, too much politics and variables to the game, to the scene, to the sketches of the latest prowler lurking around town that's bound to look like you in some way... Yeah, sure, clowns can be pretty creepy, still, they've got an opportunity for a better opening than just standing there drooling, trying not to look at her tits and hyperventilating, making with all the heavy breathing before they even get a single syllable out...
so surrender to the cheesy... become a sales man, or the music man... find a way to link your interests to hers and have something you can talk about... if need be, study up if it will make you more confident, be one of the few men that know what brand of shoes she's wearing but are actually interested in sleeping with her too, or be honest with yourself and recognize you're lost without a paddle, you're a natural born jerk and you've got little choice but to pull out the most shameful lines you've ever heard just to get your foot in the door...
because if you're going to try to take the high road here with a dame you've just met on the street, on the bus, at the coffee house or the pub... it's going to look far more creepy than playing it cool, dorky and light.
And really, you're not LOSING anything by approaching someone. If she says no, you're no worse off than now, and at least you tried.
@Rift :said bloke and grab crotch. I also respond to these. :P
"Do you have a boyfriend?" If no: proceed with small talk. If yes: "Sorry, I had to ask!"
If you say "family" she's probably going to think you mean siblings/parents and think "why in the world is this guy asking about my family...?"