[INTP] Q&A about dating INTPs, and INTP dating: - Page 151

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This is a discussion on Q&A about dating INTPs, and INTP dating: within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Its hard to get into the INTP's head just off of those few lines it could be any number of ...

  1. #1501
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Its hard to get into the INTP's head just off of those few lines it could be any number of thing, maybe he is insecure and thinks your too attractive for him or maybe he feels hes holding you back from being super social or something. I know that when I first meet some girl that I really like, my inexperienced emotions are out of wack internally.

    Quote Originally Posted by nya2003 View Post
    "it's okay if you go and talk to him, I won't be upset."
    Or: I'm telling the INTP a story about something a dude said his response:
    "it's because you think he's more attractive than me".
    I think those statements are just kinda him being jealous but at at the same time not wanting to show his feelings because feelings are hard for us and they are extremely powerful in the beginning of relationships.

  2. #1502
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Iamtp View Post
    I wear this every day. What's wrong with that?



    Quote Originally Posted by that View Post
    Yes, how else are we supposed to know that our shirt is ugly?
    Hahaha. My point was that it is subjective, though.

    Although some shirts are objectively ugly...

  3. #1503
    Unknown Personality

    Is ignoring insecurities and weaknesses unhealthy?


    From my perspective, I find that I'd rather spend more time focusing on strengths and skills that I'm familiar with to better enhance / increase those rather than naught. i.e. the need to perfect such skills and strengths.

    Yet, as I'm reading more columns and articles, it's recommended / suggested to go against that logic/method and concentrate to make such unknowns of insecurities and weaknesses to better oneself with balance.


    A comment in an article column went "If they don’t have any hobbies. This is a serious red flag because these people tend to be really clingy and jealous." The problem with this advice is, typical INTP hobbies include book reading, internet, hanging out in libraries, cafes, bookstores, etc. Not many people would find those places fun, enjoyable, and/or entertaining. It's only us xNTP's who agree with each other that those places are 'acceptable' on our lists.

    There needs to be an xNTP list of insecurities and how to deal, because as I'm reading these columns, it's giving off an opposite vibe that other types are emitting, such that the xNTP's insecurity goes misunderstood and categorized incorrectly by such columns and articles.


    I'm finding that I as I attempt to re-invent myself but not as how the media churns out media-approved social drones, I fall short with meeting 'expectations' than having the person I'm speaking with 'accept' things the way they are. Consider following media driven articles, boost confidence level, exaggerate things done to make things seem 'interesting' to date, then continue to carry on convo. The thing is, most often, exaggeration tends to lead to misunderstandings of white lies if not told in ample detail.

    For example, say a person works as a clerk, rather than say he/she works as a clerk, he/she is a document handling specialist. WTF is a document handling specialist? Well, a document handling specialist is "kind of" like a clerk who files away exhibits, manages portfolios, and sorting of diagrams.

    Where that explanation is a twist of words to make things seem better than they are, no one wants to listen to a debbie downer of his/her mundane job... but having to not be honest and blunt about it just makes things seem fake.


    Considering there's a finite amount of time in a lifetime, how does one go or how should one proceed with allocating time, patience, and attention to follow through with this?

    Breaking out of comfort zones is one thing, but to blindly dive into unknowns to figure things out, sure... one can chameleon into it to discover uncharted territory, but is the end results worth the effort, do you think?
    eks and KittCatt thanked this post.

  4. #1504
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Easy going is a problem...?
    Last edited by KittCatt; 07-30-2013 at 12:06 AM. Reason: Sprlling

  5. #1505
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by TheOminousMuffin View Post
    Also, as we are giving dating advice, thought I'd reply to this as well. The lack of viability in a long distance relationship is a statistical myth. The chances of a LDR working out are actually extremely high, though I'm not accounting for how long the LDR is and the amount of means of communication available.

    So, if you end up in one, it's not reasonable to give up with this being the sole reason. Don't let people going "Ooooohh, sssss...long distance. Sorry, buddy" discourage you. I'm willing to cite my sources if I need to.
    Source me please!

  6. #1506
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Ok, I commented in here about an Intp boy I was crushing (I like to consider stalking) on a while back. This is fairly slow moving... Any way, he seems to be showing more signs of interest than before, his housemate has been asking if we are interested in each other, he send me lots AMAZING music, all these kinds of thing that to me seem cutesey etc. (Also we aren't in the same cities so its not that weird that things are slow moving)

    What is weird, is that I was talking to his before mentioned roomie, and this boyman has never had any form of interest in a lady besides sex ever before... Like no talking, no dating, no crushes, nothing. He's 28. Is this strange? I accidentally find myself in relationships, let alone the ones that are purposeful, constantly... Anyway Intps, could you see yourself doing this? Should I be weary of the fact that I'm potentially the first lady this kid has consistently talked to in over two decades? Is there potential for him to only talk to girls he will eventually kill and that's why no one knows about his relationships?

    This is the kind of advice I need. Thank you.

  7. #1507
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by KittCatt View Post
    Ok, I commented in here about an Intp boy I was crushing (I like to consider stalking) on a while back. This is fairly slow moving... Any way, he seems to be showing more signs of interest than before, his housemate has been asking if we are interested in each other, he send me lots AMAZING music, all these kinds of thing that to me seem cutesey etc. (Also we aren't in the same cities so its not that weird that things are slow moving)

    What is weird, is that I was talking to his before mentioned roomie, and this boyman has never had any form of interest in a lady besides sex ever before... Like no talking, no dating, no crushes, nothing. He's 28. Is this strange? I accidentally find myself in relationships, let alone the ones that are purposeful, constantly... Anyway Intps, could you see yourself doing this? Should I be weary of the fact that I'm potentially the first lady this kid has consistently talked to in over two decades? Is there potential for him to only talk to girls he will eventually kill and that's why no one knows about his relationships?

    This is the kind of advice I need. Thank you.
    Biggest concern I would have is unrelated to type: don't let him "fall madly in love" and propose within a year of knowing you. I'd guess one who hasn't had a relationship may be prone to that type of reaction, though everyone's different.

    I'd also caution you that the Ti Fi clash will be a rough (and frequent) one, and to prepare for those arguments before they occur. And last tip: always be honest, even if it hurts his feelings. INTPs detect BS quickly and the fact you are both Ne users will make it even easier to see. He will immediately stop trusting you if you manipulate him in any way (I.e. white lies).

    (Not saying you would do that though!)
    KittCatt thanked this post.

  8. #1508
    INFP - The Idealists

    I am here to ask a question of you wise INTP's

    What does it mean when you are happy, passionate and extremely affectionate in someone's company (romantic relationship) but can go for days without seeing them and don't even seem to really notice or miss them in this time?

    Is this normal for INTP's? This is relating to an early stage relationship (4 months)
    eks, EinyOddy, Goldfinch and 1 others thanked this post.

  9. #1509
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Boop! Love this advice! All good to think about.

    I appreciate your assuming I'm not a liar:) But lets be honest, I'm pretty sure all Enfps struggle with the occasional white lie as a short term solution to not hurting feelings. I am trying to and shall continue to work on this!

  10. #1510
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Revenant View Post
    Biggest concern I would have is unrelated to type: don't let him "fall madly in love" and propose within a year of knowing you. I'd guess one who hasn't had a relationship may be prone to that type of reaction, though everyone's different.

    I'd also caution you that the Ti Fi clash will be a rough (and frequent) one, and to prepare for those arguments before they occur. And last tip: always be honest, even if it hurts his feelings. INTPs detect BS quickly and the fact you are both Ne users will make it even easier to see. He will immediately stop trusting you if you manipulate him in any way (I.e. white lies).

    (Not saying you would do that though!)

    Also I'd love more, Ti Fi, advice if you have any. What ways do you think it will manifest itself? What can I do to soften the blows?


     

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