I fell in love. Or maybe it's a crush. Just a fling. But. I have no idea what to do.
I think way too much about possible scenario's and how this or that might go.
The story(as short as possible):
Summerjob, 3rd year I worked there, sometimes work in the weekends.
Great team, knew most people, just 3 newbies.
One of them is 15 year old Polly.
It's her first job ever.
When we went out she came along. We talked pretty open about sex and whatnot thanks to one of the girls and her head got filled with dreams.
She just wanted to make out with someone and liked me the most I guess.
At the end of the summer the boss pays dinner for everyone, we all go out and party together.
Obviously everybody is fucked up drunk.
I'm talking with Polly and she's like: why are you so old and bla bla
We end up making out in the club/bar.
What the fuck am I doing? - But drunk me didn't really care that I'm 21 and she's 15.
So we went out to the beach and fooled around a little bit.
I didn't go too far, although I feel like I did.
The day after was really awkward at work, but I'm mistah cool, still a little drunk and so simple from being tired; so no worries.
She texted me and wanted to see me again, and after work we went walking, went to the beach again, made out, fooled around, talked.
The day after that was her last day. Saying goodbye is pretty easy for me, as I never had the most stable life and wouldn't enjoy it either.
She left, we texted a little, talked, she said she'd miss working there so bad, and didn't wanted to go back to school - highschool.
She plays the piano and sings and had this song on her facebook. I listened to it and it's so beautiful.
I told her and she recorded the full song for me.
I went for a drink with a friend and suddenly she sent me this text: Sorry if I'm interrupting, but I'm a little stuck with this. What are we doing? I mean, just like some clarity.
I replied that I have absolutely no idea and will come to see her soon, and that we should talk about it then.
Now I've thought about some scenarios:
1) Say I'm sorry, but she's too young. At some point we'll go too far and it will feel worse breaking it off in 2 months. So maybe we shouldn't like see eachother. I feel like this would be easiest; short pain. Deep pain, but she'll get over it and so will I?
2) Give it a shot? Say I want to commit to a relationship. This goes entirely against who I am. I'm bad boyfriend material. But that might change? Hell, I wouldn't even know what's expected of a 'serious' relationship. Go to her singing recitals? Hang out with her friends?
Take away the fact that I have no idea how a 'serious' relationship works, it would be really fucked up being in one with a 15 year old.
3) Just see what happens? This is me. Just go with the flow. Although it seems that every relationship has this point where it needs to be defined - usually my biggest turnoff. Why can't we just hang out whenever we can? Do some stuff together. Fool around. Want to go on a holiday(wont really be possible with this girl), sure? Where? Marrakech? Okay. You prefer Paris? Sure thing.
But now this 15 year old -that's making me totally crazy - wants me to define what we have. I can't even define who I am.
Help me? anyone?
Edit: Did I mention she's as cute as a girl can be? Like seriously.