[INTP] Q&A about dating INTPs, and INTP dating: - Page 62

Q&A about dating INTPs, and INTP dating:

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This is a discussion on Q&A about dating INTPs, and INTP dating: within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Thank you. Yeah, it sucks and I was really angry every time, I don't know what it is to break ...

  1. #611
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Thank you. Yeah, it sucks and I was really angry every time, I don't know what it is to break up in real life.
    I've thought about telling what I expect from a relationship or explaining the way I see things from the start. I'll probably do it when the chance comes.
    Marimeli thanked this post.

  2. #612
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Neuroticon View Post
    Thank you. Yeah, it sucks and I was really angry every time, I don't know what it is to break up in real life.
    I've thought about telling what I expect from a relationship or explaining the way I see things from the start. I'll probably do it when the chance comes.
    Well, don't get all excited. Breakups irl are no fun either. But at least it shows enough courtesy and respect for you that they are willing to hear your side of it and tell you to your face. One time, a guy had his dad call me and leave me a breakup voicemail. He was 26. *snicker* so I def. feel ye olde payne.

  3. #613
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I'm not. I'd be excited if I can get a relationship that lasts more than 2 months :P And at least if I am dumping someone, I will know how bad it is to do it on the Internet.
    Marimeli thanked this post.

  4. #614
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Marimeli View Post
    Yep, that's probably why my romantic past is strewn with the love-corpses of many an INTP. I feel exactly the same way about them, and that intriguing unreadability can drive you crazy when you later have no idea how they feel about you or what went wrong when/if it all blows up in your face. Which is why I developed romantic bluntness as a defense mechanism. I wonder if INFPs are intriguing to INTPs in a similar way?
    Yes. The INFP that I was chasing for a little while, for example. Totally adorable person, but totally baffled me.
    Marimeli thanked this post.

  5. #615
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Boowells View Post
    Yes. The INFP that I was chasing for a little while, for example. Totally adorable person, but totally baffled me.
    I always wish that if I am baffling someone, they would just say, "I'm totally not understanding you right now" and I would explain it if I could. That virtually never happens; I always find out about their confusion way after the fact.

    Of course, when I tell people that hoping they will help me to understand them, they clam up, freak out or get offended, typically. Is it so weird to want to understand?

  6. #616
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Marimeli View Post
    I always wish that if I am baffling someone, they would just say, "I'm totally not understanding you right now" and I would explain it if I could. That virtually never happens; I always find out about their confusion way after the fact.

    Of course, when I tell people that hoping they will help me to understand them, they clam up, freak out or get offended, typically. Is it so weird to want to understand?
    Are you sure they didn't already tell you of their confusion? I definitely showed the INFP a bit of my confusion. It...didn't really help all that much. I don't remember the exact conversation, but she essentially said to not worry. And then started causing me even more confusion! If someone asked why I was confused, I would respond honestly. To be honest, I just boil it down to Fi versus Ti. Two different ways of processing the world internally. And...err... I don't think I will ever understand INFPs.
    Marimeli thanked this post.

  7. #617
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Boowells View Post
    And...err... I don't think I will ever understand INFPs.
    Well thank GOD for that!! How else would we keep you brilliant enigmatic INTPs interested?

    Heh, I always live in fear of the moment when an INTP will look at me hard and go, "Huh, is that all?"

    ;)
    Daevor thanked this post.

  8. #618
    INFP - The Idealists

    Well thank GOD for that!! How else would we keep you brilliant enigmatic INTPs interested?
    Heh, I always live in fear of the moment when an INTP will look at me hard and go, "Huh, is that all?"
    ;)
    Me too! I'm all whimsical and feeling deeply and so in awe of the INTP's seemingly unfathomable depths and breadths of fascinating information that I often wonder what they see in me...I have no idea. I mean, I am very caring and imaginative and smart, but because the INTPs I know value the factual/unemotional so highly, I wonder what it is they are valuing about me, and why I am not terrifying them with my feelings, lol. Not that I want to be, of course, but I try to imagine what it would be like to be an INTP and I think I would bring a lot of emotional chaos into that person's life. I guess I think maybe we balance eachother out that way...I certainly appreciate the INTP's way of looking at issues more objectively and try to apply this more in my own life.

    So I'm interested to know...specifically, what baffles INTPs about INFPs? Is it the same thing that you value about us, or does it just cause stress?
    Marimeli thanked this post.

  9. #619
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by idealjane View Post
    Me too! I'm all whimsical and feeling deeply and so in awe of the INTP's seemingly unfathomable depths and breadths of fascinating information that I often wonder what they see in me...I have no idea. I mean, I am very caring and imaginative and smart, but because the INTPs I know value the factual/unemotional so highly, I wonder what it is they are valuing about me, and why I am not terrifying them with my feelings, lol. Not that I want to be, of course, but I try to imagine what it would be like to be an INTP and I think I would bring a lot of emotional chaos into that person's life. I guess I think maybe we balance eachother out that way...I certainly appreciate the INTP's way of looking at issues more objectively and try to apply this more in my own life.

    So I'm interested to know...specifically, what baffles INTPs about INFPs? Is it the same thing that you value about us, or does it just cause stress?
    Well, for one, you can instantly grasp a person's essence, or aura, as I've heard it described, without going through all the logical hoops that an INTP has to use. In my opinion, this is like having a shortcut to knowledge somehow that I can't understand, while you still maintain enough creativity, spontaneity, and humor to be worthwhile to talk to, while being completely unjudgmental and not trying to change us in any way like some of the other personalities.

    For the INFP I was talking about, she's depressed often, apparently, making her extremely fickle. I don't quite know how to describe it. While I'm sure her actions make perfect sense to her, they come across as extremely illogical. While I understand that depression is hardly a feeling worth enjoying, all her actions pointed to her wanting to maintain that depression. Unless this was somehow a selfless act determined to spare others (Probably Fe, not Fi) or a sad attempt to hide herself from even her friends. In any case, it stresses me out, because she claims to be my friend, so I worry a bit.

    But, eh, I don't have the patience of an INFJ, so eventually I just stop worrying.
    Marimeli and idealjane thanked this post.

  10. #620
    INTJ - The Scientists

    @idealjane good question. To see someone make emotional decisions in logical ways sort of baffles me. It's like huh?! And like a riddle, I can't stop thinking about until I've figured it out. I can see some order in all the chaos, but why can't I figure it out?? Need more info.

    I'm driven to understand. If I realize I can't understand, I just enjoy your mystery.

    You're passionate, and all I want to know is why? And if I can't figure out why, I'll join in your fun. By observing with empathy/sympathy.
    Marimeli and idealjane thanked this post.


     
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