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Does she like me? Perhaps. But she has other obligations, so, yeah, probably best if I keep that romantic sap out of my head around her and just be cool and friendly to her. Maybe one of these days another door will open with someone else, or maybe it has and I don't even see it.Quote:
Originally Posted by alexande
:happy:
Any of you guys (or gals) done any cold approaches to meet women (or guys for you ladies) at like, say a bookstore? It feels to me like I am bugging someone if I want to go up and say "hi" to an attractive lady or something, or perhaps she may think I am a creep or something. But I guess if there is a "buying" signal, it may be a bit easier. What does a socially inept INTP look for before trying a cold approach?
I am sure after a few random, Hello's I may be able to squeak in something more eventually.
This sitting around and waiting for a lady to fall into my lap is not working and honestly, I am starting to feel like a loser. Like I am missing out on life because everyone else around me has a relationship or has kids, or what not. Never mind the fact that I don't drive (pathetic, I know, but I really was never too interested in driving) and live at home mostly because I don't want to be totally alone.
No, I haven't, but it might be good to know how an INTP lady might respond. We'd probably be more pro-active on that front if we weren't afraid we'd come off as a creeper. So, INTP ladies, how would you feel about a cold approach, and any tactics you'd recommend?Quote:
Originally Posted by lastman
Gosh.. does anyone want to know how to pick up a bloke?
blokes are generally so much easier... and generally more fun. Seriously, you throw a chick up against the wall, grab her crotch, look deeply in her eyes and say "woof" and she's likely to knee you in the groin, pepper spray ya and scream assault or rape. While in the right pub, most dudes will buy you a drink, ask for your number or give you a quickie behind the dumpsters out back.
the politics with chicks is just a mess from whether you should pick up the check or go dutch... and the truth of the matter is you're pretty much screwed either way.
Still, if you're just horny, it's the easier route to go, most dudes on the scene, you'll have time to discuss those kinds of things after you both get off and you're more clear headed, relaxed and have a real reason to get something to eat... besides swimming, there's some things that are better to do on an empty stomach or a couple of hours after you've last ate.
Sure, many lasses have heard all the lines and have been warned about the nice guys to the jerks, but if you're intentions are more than just saying hello or striking up a conversation for the slow path of getting to know someone.... then you mind as well just surrender to being one of those guys and use a pick up line.
'course if you see a woman you'd like to approach but anxiety is getting in the way, then stop in the nearest loo and take matters into your own hands... just watch out for the dude in the next stall and security. Finish up, wash your hands, and go on and introduce yourself without all that awkward tension in the way.
You really can't avoid being a creeper or a clown... again, too much politics and variables to the game, to the scene, to the sketches of the latest prowler lurking around town that's bound to look like you in some way... Yeah, sure, clowns can be pretty creepy, still, they've got an opportunity for a better opening than just standing there drooling, trying not to look at her tits and hyperventilating, making with all the heavy breathing before they even get a single syllable out...
so surrender to the cheesy... become a sales man, or the music man... find a way to link your interests to hers and have something you can talk about... if need be, study up if it will make you more confident, be one of the few men that know what brand of shoes she's wearing but are actually interested in sleeping with her too, or be honest with yourself and recognize you're lost without a paddle, you're a natural born jerk and you've got little choice but to pull out the most shameful lines you've ever heard just to get your foot in the door...
because if you're going to try to take the high road here with a dame you've just met on the street, on the bus, at the coffee house or the pub... it's going to look far more creepy than playing it cool, dorky and light.
I will strike up a conversation with a stranger if I think they're reading an interesting book, and ask them how they like it. But I'm also pretty clued into their signals if after the approach they do to wish to be bothered. But most of the time they will engage with you on it. And I have responded favorably to such advances in the past.Quote:
Originally Posted by lastman
And really, you're not LOSING anything by approaching someone. If she says no, you're no worse off than now, and at least you tried.
@Rift :said bloke and grab crotch. I also respond to these. :P
"Do you have a boyfriend?" If no: proceed with small talk. If yes: "Sorry, I had to ask!"
Hmm. I have heard, "Do you have any family?" is a polite way of asking about spouses. Not sure if that would work for boyfriends, and it wouldn't be a good opening line.Quote:
Originally Posted by nadjasix
No woman I can think of would be offended if you asked her "Do you have a boyfriend?" It's not a "line", you're telling her right off the bat that you're interested, and giving her an out if she's not. If she's old enough to be married, she'd be flattered that you thought she was still young enough to be casually dating.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyeddie
If you say "family" she's probably going to think you mean siblings/parents and think "why in the world is this guy asking about my family...?"
If someone ever asked me that I would stare off into space and very vacantly respond "not since the accident" just to mess with them.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyeddie
Seriously, I have never heard it put that way.
:tongue:
Eh, special case, and it *was* fictional. Two middle-aged people on a unexpected "wilderness hike." Guy was interested enough that a mere boyfriend probably wouldn't have mattered - he proposed a few days later. Of course, it wasn't that simple...Quote:
Originally Posted by nadjasix
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Originally Posted by RogueWave