Intro! But I'm kind of uncertain about my type, what do you all think

Intro! But I'm kind of uncertain about my type, what do you all think

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  • 1 Post By LemonYeti

This is a discussion on Intro! But I'm kind of uncertain about my type, what do you all think within the Intro forums, part of the Personality Cafe category; Hey y'all, I've been into this personality analysis stuff for a long time now, and like the title says, I'm ...

  1. #1

    Intro! But I'm kind of uncertain about my type, what do you all think

    Hey y'all,

    I've been into this personality analysis stuff for a long time now, and like the title says, I'm uncertain of my type, but that's somewhat due to recent events. So, I'm stoked to learn from everyone on this site.

    I thought I was an ENFJ-T for the longest time, but after a break up with one of my closest friends 2 years ago, I started taking stock of my life, taking care of myself, and dealing with some old issues I'd just compartmentalize. Even started seeing a therapist and my life started improving a great deal. Now, think I could be an ISTP who has just been unhealthy for a long time.

    For the enneagram, I say I'm 8w9 since I had relate a lot to the descriptions I see, have tendencies to act like 2 when in a good place, and shut down and become secretive when in a bad one, like a 5. But I've read that 9w8's like to picture themselves as more 8, plus 8's just seem cool so I might just be projecting/seeing what I want to see, so maybe I'm that.

    Any other ENFJ's or ISTP's out there that can relate? I know mental/emotional health plays into how we see ourselves, but could a person be so unhealthy that they're operating with their function stacking reversed?

    Last edited by LemonYeti; 08-31-2019 at 02:44 AM.
    jamaix thanked this post.

  2. #2

    Welcome to PerC!

  3. #3

    Welcome and I hope you will find your answers. Maybe try to ask in the ISTP and ENFJ subforums ?
    About the unealthiness it can play I think, and do you know the mbti type of the most predominant figure (s) in your life ? I myself typed regularly as a Ni dom, and I think it had to do with my mother being INFJ.

    Cheers to you too !

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  5. #4

    Thanks for the welcome, everyone!

    Don't feel like you have to respond but I'm going to write more of my background out here. It's definitely too much info but I feel like it would be good insight, a convenient reference, and I'd like to get it off my chest. I'll try to boil it down to the most relevant parts.

    @VoicesOfSpring Thanks for the direction. I've been skimming both forums and got to say I think the ISTP applies more, which is still surprising to me.

    I'm pretty sure that I'm surrounded by mostly NF's in my family and close friends. My best friend I've known for 20 years took MBTI and got INFP. Two my exes did MBTI too and got INFJ and INFP. And my sister is totally either a domineering ENFJ or ENTJ bent on social justice though she hasn't taken it.

    Also, that friend I had a break up with, I believe she was ENFP. And this is where the TMI starts.

    TLDR: 500 Days of Summer but worse.

    Met in middle school, and had an immediate crush, we were both awkward geeky outcasts, our dads designed video games, and since the industry was just getting big, both our families moved a lot. She was super bubbly, fun, nerdy, and kind of rebellious, lot of goth/emo/punk friends and boyfriends throughout years. I was much more introverted and awkward. I came from a massive family and was always being pushed to do well in school, do sports, have a creative hobby, work (lifeguard), take care of my younger siblings etc. So I'm thinking now that even though I was really capable of caring for people, I maybe never really developed a good emotional side.

    Anyway, I asked my friend out a lot, apparently the first guy ever but nothing ever happened. We had cute, fun dates, but it was mainly just awkward and she had a lot of other guys interested. So we were close friends, but I fell deep into the role of her savior who she couldn't love back, e.g. we'd go to parties, she'd drink too much, so I'd take her home, put her in my bed, and sleep in a different room. Her family moved to France in high school, and that messed me up, but we kept in touch and she eventually moved back to the states as I left for college. Again, we had really special moments that never turned into something more so we both moved on to other relationships. She did really well, but all of mine failed pretty spectacularly and never lasted more than 6 months, mainly because of my feelings for her. She knew and didn't like it because it made her feel extremely guilty for all the rejections that messed me, and we kept having conversations where we talked about how things could have been. She criticized me a lot for idolizing her, which was pretty true.

    I visited her after graduating college with an Engineering degree, we reconnected and tried to make something work, but it turned really toxic. We each had other relationships, I was getting crushed at my new job, there was constant drama, and we were trying to sort it all out over calls/texting. Maybe most of all though, I had to have a surgery so I could maintain fertility in the future and had family issues (parents were overly involved, Dad was diagnosed with bipolar type II, lost his job, and my brothers both came out of the closet). She knew I was dealing with a lot but few specifics and to her credit, was really supportive but she was still depending on me for a lot of support: depression, gender identity, and one night she told me she was a lesbian, only dated pretty boys, and started reminiscing about her first kiss with an old mutual friend of ours (a guy, single child, rich, who I had a falling out with because of her). I never told her about the surgery, but it was a big reason I stopped being okay with just a friendship. Despite the mutual genuine caring, I was getting serious about having a family, health, and being as no-nonsense as possible. My therapist suggested yoga to me and I got really attached to a girl I knew in high school who was teaching me. It didn't go anywhere but it just added onto the drama.

    It all culminated in a lot of fights, her going back to France for a week for "closure", getting engaged, visiting one last time, and cutting all ties.


    This is where my own perception gets in the way; it's hard to tell if I managed it all well or badly, where I was healthy and playing to my strengths. I used Fe and Ni all the time, but looking back now and seeing how I could have done things, it's hard to say I used them well. I've kind of been the emotional rock for a lot people, really good at caring for and protecting people, but also surrounded by drama and at times a real cold-hearted bastard when I thought it was the right thing to do. And it's super easy to pick out times where I used Ti and Se well since I was always learning, loved all sorts of sports, functional projects, creative projects, adventures, exploring, but I think I was best in groups and motivated by Fe and Ni, since I was able to lead, write, and inspire pretty well.

    All in all, I'm leaning towards ISTP. I like it more. Thoughts?


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