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This is a discussion on Who Am I? within the Intro forums, part of the Personality Cafe category; Originally Posted by thegatesofparadise Thank you :) This paragraph really touched me. I think religion has messed my head up ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by thegatesofparadise View Post
    Thank you :)

    This paragraph really touched me. I think religion has messed my head up quite a bit when it comes to this. I *believed* religion. I feel there must be a 'right' way to do things, accepting my thoughts, behaviors and everything without trying to change them is something I no longer know at all. Everything around me is schizophrenic. And I can see the truth in it all. But it gives me no truth to hold on to. Does any of this make sense?

    I like what you said about mindfulness. I will certainly try what you reccomend. The process makes sense to me quite a bit.

    Can I ask.. what in your opinion is it that we are afraid of when it comes to accepting ourselves as we are? Fundamentally, I mean. I know some people say we are afraid that the real us will be rejected, but I sense it must be more than that.
    (Sorry for making this so long )

    I hear ya.

    I sense it must be more than that too. I reckon our deepest desire is to live, so it may be that we fear realizing we don't deserve to live. We're afraid of discovering ourselves because we may find that we are monsters, that we are bad. The way we generally view the world in terms of morality is

    life = good
    death = bad

    In our eyes life should be good, it should strive to be good, it should have as much good and as less bad as it can. That could be why people who see themselves as 'bad' (without value or with little value) feel like they don't deserve to live.

    So,
    deepest desire -> life
    deepest fear -> to lose life
    we fear ourselves because -> we might find we deserve to lose life

    Being rejected may make us feel like we lose value, we become more bad and less good. It contributes to the "realizing we're bad" part, so I could see how some people feel like the reason we don't accept ourselves is because we fear rejection.

    However, what is bad? And what is good? Does morality exist? Etc... In my opinion, for example, there is no 'good' or 'bad', there is just existence/essence, so in my case I don't feel like I'm either bad nor good inside, rather, I just exist as I am. For example, I feel like when I am angry I'm not 'more bad' than when I am generous, rather, it's a different expression of the way I am – the 'ying' to the 'yang', as I mentioned the other day :) Beautiful in its own way. That's why exploring the nature of reality could make us realize that there is no good nor bad, everything just "is", so everything has value -> no reason to fear ourselves.

    In other words, we can't fear ourselves because we can't find a monster inside. We can't find a monster inside because the distinction between 'the monster' and 'the non-monster' part of ourselves and the world (distinction between bad/good) is just an illusion. If we explore ourselves keeping that in mind, we will see that we have value regardless of how we are, because we are only existence in its purest form – nothing to fear :)

    Some religious beliefs may create turmoil inside a person because most religions make clear distinctions between what is right and what is wrong. They segregate the person and make them neglect, vilify, be ashamed of, not accept (etc) some aspects of themselves. They may make them feel that a part of them is wrong, that it has to be changed, which makes self-acceptance much harder. So yeah, I feel you....

    How to overcome the fear, though? Well, what has worked for me is two things:

    –Realizing the truth
    –Letting go of desire

    With regard to this, buddhist teachings are very helpful.

    Buuuut... this is only my humble opinion Hopefully it can help you in some way.


     
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