I have always thought of SJ women as prissy, judgmental, and not much fun--"Church Lady" being an extreme example. (I realize that's an unfair stereotype--I'm still learning.)
Now I'm dating a woman who appears to be a classic ISFJ. She's a nurse who deeply cares about people and family. She loves to cook and sew. She has an introvert side that needs some private time.
But what surprises me is that when we are together, this ISFJ woman can really bust loose! She loves to go to a local tavern to drink beer and listen to music and dance! She likes to smoke pot, and she can smoke a lot! She has a hot tub!
At first I thought I just mistyped her, but I have been a MB enthusiast for years and am pretty good at typing people, and other potential types (I had thought ISFP) don't match at all. She really does appear to be a nice ISFJ nurse who loves to cook, sew, and party!
If I'm not flattering myself, some of this behaviour emerges when she is with me because she really likes me and trusts me and feels safe with me and she knows I really like and admire her. (She doesn't have any substance issues as far as I can see.) And I enjoy going out and having a good time with her, although I must say, she can easily out-party me.
Also, she grew up in a small town where partying like this was pretty much the norm, as I understand it, if for no other reason than there wasn't much else to do.
(I should mention that we are both in our early 60s, but nothing like dead yet--we are both trim and athletic and comparatively youthful.)
Something else that was a pleasant surprise is that she is remarkably sensual and loves sex. I guess from the MBTI perspective, that must be her S and F manifesting. (And again, I flatter myself that some of that is because she loves me and trusts me.)
ISFJs (or anyone else): Any comments, cautions, suggestions for how to make her happy, things to avoid? She is great lady and a kind person, but also much more of a character (she can be impish) than I would have guessed by the "SJ" in her type description!
Thanks for your insight and assistance.