[ISFJ] ISFJ friendships with other types

ISFJ friendships with other types

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  • 15 Post By Shapaha
  • 1 Post By SimpleSauropod

This is a discussion on ISFJ friendships with other types within the ISFJ Forum - The Nurturers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Hello, I've posted some stupid things on this side of the forum before. A few things are kind of opening ...

  1. #1
    ENFJ - The Givers

    ISFJ friendships with other types

    Hello,

    I've posted some stupid things on this side of the forum before. A few things are kind of opening up to me as I go along. My type is over-emotional, a lot. So specifically this is for an ENFJ.

    So I started thinking about my best friend of the last 17 years.
    A lot of the time he and I make plans, recently we made plans to go see the new Movie World War Z.
    I've been wanting to see it with him for the longest time.
    We're both zombie fans, and we both love the idea of "survival" in a SHTF scenario.

    Unfortunately, despite inviting me to drive up to where he lives (he now lives over an hour and a half away) he went to see the movie by himself and told me he would not be able to watch it with me.
    Since I've known him so long, I just shrugged it off.

    I'm curious, is he telling me that I'm not really needed in his life anymore?
    He seems to have made a lot of other new friends while out there since his cousins are out there.
    I can handle the truth.

    I'm just certain it's always me contacting him, so I'm not sure.
    Infermiera, Infermiera, Infermiera and 12 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    17 years is a long time. If an ISFJs been a friend of yours for that long, I don't think you have much too worry about. I'd expect by then he trusts you and is very comfortable around you.

    The move might put a bit of a strain around your relationship, but that's normal I think. I do think it was kind of rude for him to invite you, then make plans to do something you guys seem to have been talking about doing by himself, but the ISFJ might not even be aware it was that big of a deal for you guys. Unfortunately, the closer someone is to us (from my experience), the more we take advantage of the relationship. We relax around them and are more selfish. It's a sort of sign of trust that we can take liberties with you guys that we're afraid of doing with almost everyone else.

    Now, that's not an excuse to do that sort of behavior often. That's not a healthy friendship. As long as you point it out to him when he crosses a line in that area, he should straighten out and make time for you and your needs as a friend. And it sounds like this was just a one time thing, so I don't think this a big deal or anything or has some sort of message that he doesn't want to be friends anymore. We're not that subtle. More friends = more distractions, but I'm assuming it's new friends. He's not going to trust them like he trusts you. You're a proven friend of 17 years, I would think even if you guys grow apart as a result of the distance, he's always going to remember the friendship (note that I'm not saying you guys will, just pointing out the value of a long friendship).

    As for the always you contacting him thing... yeah, that might be common for ISFJs. I know I do that. I almost never contact anyone to hang out, rather leave that to them, that way I know for sure I'm not bothering them or will be rejected. Again, selfish, but still a bad habit I partake in.

  3. #3
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Thanks a lot for your response,
    I honestly just needed confirmation :)

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  5. #4
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    Quote Originally Posted by Ringer View Post
    Hello,

    I've posted some stupid things on this side of the forum before. A few things are kind of opening up to me as I go along. My type is over-emotional, a lot. So specifically this is for an ENFJ.

    So I started thinking about my best friend of the last 17 years.
    A lot of the time he and I make plans, recently we made plans to go see the new Movie World War Z.
    I've been wanting to see it with him for the longest time.
    We're both zombie fans, and we both love the idea of "survival" in a SHTF scenario.

    Unfortunately, despite inviting me to drive up to where he lives (he now lives over an hour and a half away) he went to see the movie by himself and told me he would not be able to watch it with me.
    Since I've known him so long, I just shrugged it off.

    I'm curious, is he telling me that I'm not really needed in his life anymore?
    He seems to have made a lot of other new friends while out there since his cousins are out there.
    I can handle the truth.

    I'm just certain it's always me contacting him, so I'm not sure.

    I have an ENFJ friend and yeah she can be overly emotional.

    What your friend did was very uncharacteristic of an ISFJ. I mean if it were me, I'd still go to the movies with you. If he really is an ISFJ then his complete disregard for your feelings might mean something else. He might be going through something.

    I dont think he's telling you that. If he's been in your life for 17 years, I don't think he'll have to resort to this kind of behavior to get rid of you. If he's an ISFJ, he'd be honest with you. Awww, you really sound like my ENFJ friend. When I made new friends at the hospital, she thought I didn't want to hang out with her anymore. I had to reassure her that that will never happen. She's in another country now and we talk all the time to reassure her that we'll remain friends.

    ISFJ are very loyal people. If your friend is one then he'll be your friend forever.

    Yup my ENFJ friend also contacts me a lot. I think I just got used to her contacting me so I never though to text first. hehehe I think I should probably do that.


 

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