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This is a discussion on Ask an ISFJ a Question within the ISFJ Forum - The Nurturers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Angel Cat, You seem like a truly lovely person... incredibly thoughtful and caring. These are qualities as valuable as gemstones, ...

  1. #1311

    Angel Cat,

    You seem like a truly lovely person... incredibly thoughtful and caring. These are qualities as valuable as gemstones, particularly in this era.

    I understand not wanting to get in his way, but if things don't work out between him and whoever-she-is, would you consider approaching him then? I don't want to tell you what to do or suggest you act against your values, but I would hate for you to look back years later and have regrets that you didn't try.

  2. #1312

    Quote Originally Posted by Angel Cat View Post
    Thanks for this response. I saw my crush just last night at a sort of conference event. I didn't think he would go to that event in person. I can't get over him just yet seeing as how nice he was to me, still laughing with me at something funny, still making jokes around me.(sigh)

    I guess there's nothing blatantly embarrassing that I did although... We have a lot of mutual friends and when he was not around, I may have openly said how much I like him to our friends--this was before I knew about him liking someone else. I think that would be pretty embarrassing if he found out, especially since, apparently, the girl he likes is (according to someone I've confided to before) is someone I know personally yet no one would tell me who it is not that I ever insisted to know. So yeah, friends have warned me not to get my hopes up, but then again, no one knew I liked him until about 6-8 months since having feelings for him.

    But since finding out he has strong feelings for someone else, I didn't want to get in the way of anything like that. I value his right to love and happiness with the person he deserves to be with, and also treasure the friendship he's extended.

    Yeah, he's very ISFJ like that like I've seen how caring he is with family--his mom and sisters, and even colleagues. When he would go for coffee for himself, he never failed to ask around if anyone else wanted coffee, and he'd bring back the coffees--but like he doesn't need to do that but it's in those simple ways I slowly developed feelings. His actions made me realize my own. He doesn't know it but he made me a better person by just being himself. That, and, having quite a few several mutual interests.

    Again, thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I'm never going to confront him about my feelings, at least until it does wane; but at least I can know that if he does avoid me for a while, it's not for the wrong reasons. Hope you have a lovely day!
    You need to know that in rare cases, the feelings never do "wane". In extreme cases, such as mine, the feelings of infatuation become so strong that they actually evolve into something even stronger: "Limerance". Like an infatuation, limerance mimics a near-obsessive form of romantic love. It becomes so strong that it affects you on a subconscious level and the feelings of reciprocation (which can only be satisfied by said reciprocation) start manifesting in your dreams. What you dream depends entirely on your subconscious and your feelings. To this day, even the scent of my crush in a crowded gymnasium (in my dreams) triggers a PHYSICAL reaction.

    There's a reason why I chose my screen name to be tripwire_desire. Like you... I have wandered into a field of tripwires of desire. Fortunately, I've been experiencing limerance for so long (the last 20 years to be exact), that I've just accepted it as them being a part of who I am; an extension of who I really am. Unfortunately, the girl I fell in love with rejected my advances from the very start. Really... it was a text book unrequited love. So not only did I experience rejection, I experienced feelings of teen angst from my bullies who caught wind of my advances from the girl.

    I don't mean to hijack this thread, but you need to know that matters of the heart are EXTREMELY serious. Don't downplay your feelings and think that they will just miraculously disappear.

  3. #1313

    Quote Originally Posted by Tripwire_Desire View Post
    Don't downplay your feelings and think that they will just miraculously disappear.
    Perfect timing, thanks.

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  5. #1314

    What do you like to read ?? Also, why do you read ?? Pleasure or to improve your understanding of something ??

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