Female ISFP - Male ESTJ Relationship

Female ISFP - Male ESTJ Relationship

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  • 1 Post By Annette03
  • 1 Post By Ambiphrenia
  • 3 Post By JackJ
  • 6 Post By tattoolady

This is a discussion on Female ISFP - Male ESTJ Relationship within the ISFP Forum - The Artists forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Hello Everyone, I was wondering if some could share their experiences (if you have any) with how well these relationships ...

  1. #1
    ISFP - The Artists

    Female ISFP - Male ESTJ Relationship

    Hello Everyone,
    I was wondering if some could share their experiences (if you have any) with how well these relationships work. I have been in a four year relationship and have come to realize I think our personalities play a huge role in our problems, among other things. Any insight?
    Tassanee Golding thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ISFP - The Artists

    Quote Originally Posted by Annette03 View Post
    Hello Everyone,
    I was wondering if some could share their experiences (if you have any) with how well these relationships work. I have been in a four year relationship and have come to realize I think our personalities play a huge role in our problems, among other things. Any insight?

    Hi Annette,
    I'm searching for the same answer your looking for. What kind of problems are u facing with ur partner?
    I've been with an ESTJ for almost a month now. I can't really say exactly what's the problem, but I feel like something is missing between us. Everything is great though. We always have a great time together and we're always happy together. We complete each other on many levels. However, sometimes I feel like I need more than just a good time. I need a more passionate love, deeper feelings, something more meaningful. He is always in tune with my feelings and mood swings or whatever, but he can't seem to get through me. I can tell him what Im feeling if something's bothering me and he can listen to me, but ... I really don't know how to put it in words. All I can say is that there's something missing. I really like him and I don't want to lose him because we understand each other in a way that no one could, though it feels superficial to me sometimes.
    I'm sorry I couldn't help, but it's nice to know someone like us have been together for 4 years.

  3. #3
    ESTJ - The Guardians

    I have been with an ISFP for 2 years now. A lot of times she does get angry for no apparent reason. I have found that usually (later), I can figure out why she is unhappy. I think usually she is unhappy because I do or say something I see as insignificant, but she finds offensive. Our relationship is and has been fantastic.
    Ambiphrenia, Tassanee Golding and goodthankyou thanked this post.

  4. #4
    ISFP - The Artists

    Hello, Everyone. i dunno if this will Help or not.

    (ONLY because my Husband and I were 12 when we started dating. we basicly "grew up" together. :P )

    Im and ISFP and My Husband Of 7 years is an ESTJ
    in the beginning we had Problems. He Also left me Feeling Empty at times, and almost Constantly took advantage of my love for him....
    BUT. many years and Many fights later...
    We are PERFECT for eachother! I could NEVER be with anyone one else! he understands im "Emotionaly unstable" and I understand that He LIVES in his Head and not his Heart. but because of this, we make and AWESOME and UNSTOPPABLE team! He teaches me to think more and i teach him to Feel more. and we have NEVER been Happier. I can honestly say, that to this day, we STILL fall in Love with each other over and over again.

  5. #5
    ISFP - The Artists

    Quote Originally Posted by tattoolady View Post
    Hello, Everyone. i dunno if this will Help or not.

    (ONLY because my Husband and I were 12 when we started dating. we basicly "grew up" together. :P )

    Im and ISFP and My Husband Of 7 years is an ESTJ
    in the beginning we had Problems. He Also left me Feeling Empty at times, and almost Constantly took advantage of my love for him....
    BUT. many years and Many fights later...
    We are PERFECT for eachother! I could NEVER be with anyone one else! he understands im "Emotionaly unstable" and I understand that He LIVES in his Head and not his Heart. but because of this, we make and AWESOME and UNSTOPPABLE team! He teaches me to think more and i teach him to Feel more. and we have NEVER been Happier. I can honestly say, that to this day, we STILL fall in Love with each other over and over again.
    aaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww

  6. #6
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by tattoolady View Post
    Hello, Everyone. i dunno if this will Help or not.

    (ONLY because my Husband and I were 12 when we started dating. we basicly "grew up" together. :P )

    Im and ISFP and My Husband Of 7 years is an ESTJ
    in the beginning we had Problems. He Also left me Feeling Empty at times, and almost Constantly took advantage of my love for him....
    BUT. many years and Many fights later...
    We are PERFECT for eachother! I could NEVER be with anyone one else! he understands im "Emotionaly unstable" and I understand that He LIVES in his Head and not his Heart. but because of this, we make and AWESOME and UNSTOPPABLE team! He teaches me to think more and i teach him to Feel more. and we have NEVER been Happier. I can honestly say, that to this day, we STILL fall in Love with each other over and over again.
    This is so true! I am also married to an ESTJ. We've been married almost 12 years and together for 15 years total. You really need to acknowledge your differences and learn to make the most of them. It can be hard at times, but I really do think that ISFP/ESTJ makes a great team.

  7. #7
    ESTJ - The Guardians

    Isfp relationship problems that need your guidance

    Hi all, I'm new here. If you don't mind, I would like to seek some advice from you.

    I'm feeling terrible all over and I need some guidance/help.

    I am an estj make while my gf is a isfp.

    We have dated for 4.5 years so far.
    Some background info:

    We dated since high school. She wooed me as she was very interested in me. I was succeeding and was doing really well in academic and extra curricular activities.

    I went through the military while she went overseas to study. When I was done with military I joined her overseas for university education. She comes from a top tier family with parents and family friends being top lawyers doctors and her dad being a CEO. I joined university because I was convinced that it was the right path to achieving a better life and only way to provide financial stability for a future family.
    She was forced to study a subject she hated in university and was merely scrapping through while I was excelling because I loved the subjects I took and cherish the opportunity my parents had provided for me.

    Now she is working back in our home country and I'm left with another half a year to complete my degree. I try to communicate constantly with messages and keep asking her why she don't call or make an effort to communicate ? I always believed that we as a couple had to keep things going by showing affection. But it seems that she finds me totally a nuisance and like a small kid for the past 4.5 years, always clinging to her. She is tired after working every night and She says I pester her too much and she wants to rely on a grown man. Always, she says she wants to be in the top tier earning bracket and she is working hard at it while she says all I do is try to call her and kick up a fuss. We hardly communicate, not even a phone call once a week. Now she asks for a cooling period saying that she still loves me and hope that during this period I will grow up. She says she sees no future with me since a long period ago but still loves me. The cooling off period is for us to grow and for her to rebalance herself before coming back together. She said she did not want to break up.(Isn't growing up being responsible and earning a good income so that we provide support to the family? I'm in the midst of my education, so I can't see what she is driving at...?)

    I really do love her with all my heart. She is my significant other and I never knew we could come this far. I feel totally trashed.

    I try to communicate with her daily because in my family we communicate daily as a form of bonding (anything and everything). For her, she seldom communicate with her parents (she belongs to a family that only talks when there is a problem).

    I dont understand her feelings half the time. In fact i cant seem to get a grip of what she is doing. All i know is she was forced into a career she doesn't like, hate her current job and tries to reach for the top. She tells me that she wants to earn enough so she can be the top tier of the society. Her dad is a ceo. I complain about the dad because i personally believed that no point for someone to do a career that he/she hates. It will take a toll on the person. She feels that she is being forced into the career and i feel its unhealthy. She is okay at what she is doing now and going through the routine of her job but hates it.

    She don't feel happy and keeps blaming people around her and she keeps making statements like people are just so stupid. She always says she is tired and cannot seem to feel anymore and is retreating into her own world until she decides to face reality.

    An incident we faced was when i didn't feel the need to send an email to the housing development board because i was still studying and i only thought it was right to find out more information with her when i was back to home country. She said i did nothing and was all talk only. I didn't feel comfortable about finding too much yet because i haven't started a proper job and i didn't want her to have problems paying off any bills. I wanted to stabilize my career before we could settle down.

    She has done many sweet things for me. Loads and loads of it. She pays for my air ticket back to home country as a huge surprise, she teaches me how to seek the right career (she has the guidance from her family while i don't; i choose to learn from her rather than lead cos no point for her learning from someone who knows nothing about career), she has reminded me for my forgetfulness a lot of times etc.

    When we were both studying i paid for her meals more because she wasn't given much allowance by her parents. Now that she is working (when i fly back during holidays) she pays for my meals occasionally too.

    I don't know what to do. I am so sad i don't know how to react to her. I just feel that i got betrayed. I need guidance. She have been an amazing girlfriend but suddenly it came down to this. She said used to tell me grow up and now she said her last gamble was for me to grow up during the cooling period and I asked if I fail to do so will we move separate ways? All she said was "I didn't put an end date to it".
    Just six months ago she saw our future and a home together, suddenly she says she can't answer me. I'm puzzled.
    She asked me to go and do what I want for now. She has no friends and I'm worried what will she be doing. Although reading many of these forum's thread would leave me guessing that she would stay at home and ponder over and over again, probably replaying the situations in her head??

    Can someone tell me how to deal with this situation and from ISFP point of view what does it imply? (I tried to explain mbti to her but she just chucked it aside). I would be still meeting her when I return to home country in a week's time and we will still be meeting up, only that she insists that we shall not be too intimate (intimacy isn't welcome by her as she is rather conservative but she gave in to me because intimacy is more welcomed by my family as we believe love is made up of communication, sex and trust). I cannot understand how can we backtrack if we came so far? Is she rejecting me or is it she just needs space? Please no flaming, I'm having a hard time and would appreciate your objective opinions.

    Thank you and God Bless.
    Last edited by Disneywarrior; 06-09-2014 at 04:14 AM.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by tattoolady View Post
    Hello, Everyone. i dunno if this will Help or not.

    (ONLY because my Husband and I were 12 when we started dating. we basicly "grew up" together. :P )

    Im and ISFP and My Husband Of 7 years is an ESTJ
    in the beginning we had Problems. He Also left me Feeling Empty at times, and almost Constantly took advantage of my love for him....
    BUT. many years and Many fights later...
    We are PERFECT for eachother! I could NEVER be with anyone one else! he understands im "Emotionaly unstable" and I understand that He LIVES in his Head and not his Heart. but because of this, we make and AWESOME and UNSTOPPABLE team! He teaches me to think more and i teach him to Feel more. and we have NEVER been Happier. I can honestly say, that to this day, we STILL fall in Love with each other over and over again.
    This is beautiful. Just saying...this is beautiful. This is what marriage is about - sticking with it no matter what, and learning from each other. So glad I stopped by and saw this.

  9. #9
    Unknown

    what you can do is encourage her to do the things she loves to do, and not to worry about the approval of others. support her finding/creating herself.
    you can hug her instead of making her feel uncomfortable with words.
    tell her that she is right and she is not facing reality. until then both of you cant have a relationship that both of you want. she maybe under the pressure of her parents successes and approval. might still in the teen years phase, where she has to accept herself, with who she is. the way she was brought up is very different from yours; she doesn't want to be intimate. Her family doesn't give her freedom; not giving her enough allowance. commitment issues.


     

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