[ISFP] New relationship with ISFP male - have I messed it up already? How do I make it up - Page 2

New relationship with ISFP male - have I messed it up already? How do I make it up

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This is a discussion on New relationship with ISFP male - have I messed it up already? How do I make it up within the ISFP Forum - The Artists forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Originally Posted by ferroequinologist [/I][/I] My opinion is that you don't want to make yourself too self conscious worrying all ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by ferroequinologist View Post
    [/I][/I]
    My opinion is that you don't want to make yourself too self conscious worrying all the time about your Ne. Just keep it in mind more for areas of conflict... but don't let your worrying become a hindrance.
    Ah thanks for finding my post! Yeah I understand, I know I don't want to overthink things or worry. Thanks.

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by LittleOrange View Post
    Can I ask how old you guys are? You seem to really obsess over unimportant (irrational) things, imo. Also, you seem pretty impulsive (and this comes from an ISFP lol). I think maybe you should in the future, stop and think before you act. Think if that what you perceive as important is really important and how that would come across to the other person. You´re relationship has tendency to become unhealthy, as I can see, if you don´t control your impusiveness and irrationality. If you said something like that to me, I would probably think you´re crazy and give up on you.
    Mid twenties. He's a year older. Yes I know I have actually managed to calm a lot since then and force myself to not act out when I get in one of those weird moods (inferior Fe grip or whatever you call it as @ferroequinologist explained). I know I was the one who would lash out more and so the hardest and most upsetting thing for me was trying to forgive myself so I would shut down afterward and need time to fully forgive myself before I could go better to being myself back to normal. I know now the hard way that I need to just let these crazy feelings past and nog lash out and I do get over it after a little while as I have tried this a few times and it works although it can be painful it is worse than the regret of saying something stupid. I can imagine that I sound really immature. I am learning. After the 'fight' which I described in the original post, we both said that the way we acted wasn't us and that we didn't know where it came from and it was like we were possessed or something. Anyway I hope we have moved onfrom that now as it was really bad. But reading it back now and remembering it does make me worry that he hasn't completely got over it . And yes I'm sure he does think I'm crazy now (that's probably what I would think too) but oh well as long as he understands that's not really me. Like @Ricardo Migeal Malgas pointed out its because I didn't know what was going on. I just have to learn from my mistakes and reading about the functions ferroequinologist post has helped me a lot to understand most importantly about my inferior function and how to control it. Also of course I want us both to be ourselves but I'm trying to tone down my Ne sometimes so as not to make him uncomfortable. I wouldn't want him to tone down Se for me as it attractive anyway. But I think I was subconsciously holding back my Ne sometimes with him as I can tell sometimes he will appreciate and sometimes it could really annoy him. I am learning new things from being with him though and I don't have to express everything stupid thing that cones into my head just because I find it amusing so I don't mind filtering some of my Ne. I just have to be cautious to think before I speak but it's really just adapting to the person I'm with as I know more what they like and don't like which I try to do naturally anyway.
    Sorry for stream of consciousness I'm on my phone and can't be bothered to contruct a paragraph which isn't a syntactical mess. Sorry.

    Btw, if it's of any interest, I recently discovered that I'm probably an enneagram Type 9 which apparently could mean that as an INTP I could have higher Ne and lower Ti (I tested my function percentage before but can't remember) which might explain that maybe I am quite impulsive in general. Maybe an unhealthy Type 9 thing or maybe it's just when any INTP could suddenly become irrationally impulsive in same way if they were experiencing an inferior Fe frenzy I don't know

  3. #13

    Not that it really matters but actually just so you all know I think it's likely I'm a Type 4 or maybe 5 usually but in relationship I changed to more of a Type 9. I don't know yet.

    Sorry I would have added this to my previous comment but I can't seem to edit on my phone without deleting everything.


     
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