How in the world do I......to an ISFP?

How in the world do I......to an ISFP?

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This is a discussion on How in the world do I......to an ISFP? within the ISFP Forum - The Artists forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Not even just ISFP's in particular, but ANYONE that notoriously takes things super personally in frequently incorrect ways. I don't ...

  1. #1
    INTP - The Thinkers

    How in the world do I......to an ISFP?

    Not even just ISFP's in particular, but ANYONE that notoriously takes things super personally in frequently incorrect ways.

    I don't take anything personally unless I am positive myself that it is correct, I do not just blindly react to things according to my own interpretations of them, because I'm completely aware that my interpretation is no one elses but my own, so it's probably incorrect.

    It just doesn't seem too healthy to me?

    So how do I explain something like this to something that takes shit personally? You know what I mean? Like how would someone react to "You take everything way too personally, and you do it all the time and you're not even correct about what you're interpreting." that in that situation? Would they feel attacked?

    Is there any way to present this problem and hopefully help solve it without it being interpreted so ridiculously personally?

    I'm just lost about it.
    Grey thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Perhaps you should approach the problem from another angle. Explain to him that you both have trouble communicating with and understanding one another and that he takes things in a way other than what you mean a lot of the time because of it.

    Basically, be as neutral about it as you can rather than saying 'you you you' the entire time. Express that the problems aren't caused by him alone.

  3. #3
    ISFP - The Artists

    In response to your quote ""You take everything way too personally, and you do it all the time and you're not even correct about what you're interpreting."

    I would definitely feel attacked if anyone talked to me in such a rude manner. Telling me if I am correct when you do not understand my motivations for what I am doing is silly. My interpretation of what I am doing is what matters, because how else can I look through the world if not through my own lens?

    It is irrelevant if what you are saying is correct or not to me, because it is correct to you. I must correct your mistake about me.

    I just see that quote as incredibly presumptuous, when no facts have been presented to prove your point.
    Grey and zayzay thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    In response to your quote ""You take everything way too personally, and you do it all the time and you're not even correct about what you're interpreting."

    I would definitely feel attacked if anyone talked to me in such a rude manner. Telling me if I am correct when you do not understand my motivations for what I am doing is silly. My interpretation of what I am doing is what matters, because how else can I look through the world if not through my own lens?

    It is irrelevant if what you are saying is correct or not to me, because it is correct to you. I must correct your mistake about me.

    I just see that quote as incredibly presumptuous, when no facts have been presented to prove your point.
    It's funny you called me presumptuous, when you just inferred that I was seriously about to sum up SIX YEARS of misinterpretations in one sentence. Because. No. I was just trying to get the point across to you guys >.<

    It's incredibly ironic the same thing just happened with another ISFP on this board that happens with him. Haha.

    See what I mean?

    And I CAN tell him he is incorrect. Because he IS inferring completely inaccurate things about me. What about that is correct? Am I suppose to verify that what he interpreted I said is correct, even though it's completely not what I was going for? That just seems incredibly silly, and I don't know why in the world I'd do that.
    Grey and zayzay thanked this post.

  5. #5
    ISFP - The Artists

    Quote Originally Posted by Kevinaswell View Post
    It's funny you called me presumptuous, when you just inferred that I was seriously about to sum up SIX YEARS of misinterpretations in one sentence. Because. No. I was just trying to get the point across to you guys >.<

    It's incredibly ironic the same thing just happened with another ISFP on this board that happens with him. Haha.

    See what I mean?

    And I CAN tell him he is incorrect. Because he IS inferring completely inaccurate things about me. What about that is correct? Am I suppose to verify that what he interpreted I said is correct, even though it's completely not what I was going for? That just seems incredibly silly, and I don't know why in the world I'd do that.
    No, I was not calling anyone presumptuous. I was calling the quote itself presumptuous in its wording if it was bluntly and unequivocally thrown at me. I fully understand that it was a sum-up of your experiences, and I am in no position to arm-chair psychologist any of this because I don't understand the nuances of this 6 year long relationship. I was simply expressing anger at that quote almost in a vacuum, without prior knowledge of what I have done to this person.
    Grey and zayzay thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    No, I was not calling anyone presumptuous. I was calling the quote itself presumptuous in its wording if it was bluntly and unequivocally thrown at me. I fully understand that it was a sum-up of your experiences, and I am in no position to arm-chair psychologist any of this because I don't understand the nuances of this 6 year long relationship. I was simply expressing anger at that quote almost in a vacuum, without prior knowledge of what I have done to this person.
    Gotchya :)

    Yea, that's not how I view it actually >.<

    It's just if I were to be completely thoroughly honest with everything I say, I'd be typing novels constantly and never shutting up.

    So I kinda just try to get to the point.
    Grey thanked this post.

  7. #7
    ISFP - The Artists

    Quote Originally Posted by Kevinaswell View Post
    Gotchya :)

    Yea, that's not how I view it actually >.<

    It's just if I were to be completely thoroughly honest with everything I say, I'd be typing novels constantly and never shutting up.

    So I kinda just try to get to the point.
    I wish I could get to the point and not care about people's feelings, but I just do. I want people to like me, and how else than to be nice to everyone. The idea of people disliking me, cursing me behind my back is too much for me, so I cover a ton of things in sugar. And when I see such harsh commentary when I see myself undeserving of the critique, I get pretty mad.
    Grey thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    Sometimes it can be hard to differentiate between a challenge to an idea and a challenge to a person because so much of what makes up myself is my view on things. I'm aware that my subjective view means little to other people, but it's hard to shake off and I know many people, mainly my isfp friends, who can't.

    Just he supportive to what they have to say and disagree respectfully. I agree with avoiding the word 'you' as much as possible and add in 'I think' or 'The way I see it.' Those small gestures can make all of the difference.
    Kevinaswell and Grey thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Psilo View Post
    Sometimes it can be hard to differentiate between a challenge to an idea and a challenge to a person because so much of what makes up myself is my view on things. I'm aware that my subjective view means little to other people, but it's hard to shake off and I know many people, mainly my isfp friends, who can't.

    Just he supportive to what they have to say and disagree respectfully. I agree with avoiding the word 'you' as much as possible and add in 'I think' or 'The way I see it.' Those small gestures can make all of the difference.
    I try to do that as much as I can already for sure, I don't like making people feel attacked when I'm trying to say something positive that I think the should hear. Or even if it's negative for that matter, because I don't mean it as an attack just as a chance to further happiness.

    A problem I run in to with that though is like...how do I phrase it...

    Well when I think/describe something, my interpretation of what other people think is just as important as anything else (as with anyone), so sometimes instead of saying "you" because I know it adds that personal little icky feeling to things... I may feel the strong need to say something like "It makes me think/feel as if YOU...." etc. but only for the simple reason it's a valid point, you know what I mean?

    I feel as if even things like that can be interpreted in unintended ways, and I am still looking for a good explanation/way around that kind of thing....

    It's not a problem in normal interaction whatsoever, but we tend to get REALLY deep into life and the intricacies of our opposing views (incredibly deep into it), and it's only in those conversations that things as minor as that start to be INCREDIBLY important. Cuz otherwise we're used to each other and comfortable with how we do, but when we start to get into the deep conversation about the delicacies of ourselves, accuracy is key, nah mean? Because this is where tiny little misconceptions about who each other are develop, and any misconception is a bad one.

    They happen with other people, too for sure. But it's just this particular relationship that I feel is very important to understand for the bettering of myself. As well as cuz I like that kid a shit ton, which is the largest reason :) Man.
    PeacePassion and Grey thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    Without know much of the specific situation, the best I could say is to just be reassuring that it wasn't meant personally and instead of saying 'you take things too personally' as in the opening post ask why do they take it personally if you haven't already. Extend a bit of understanding and then explain your side in that you try to remain objective to both of you and that you honestly have trouble knowing what is being interpreted from what you say.

    I would hope if you both are friends you can reach a middle ground.
    Grey thanked this post.


     
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