I know that everyone thinks differently, but perhaps some of you can relate to the experiences and thought processes of this mysterious friend, as you're the same type?
It was when we graduated in 8th grade. I wasn't one of her closest friends, and I didn't know who was. (Thinking about it now, I couldn't have possibly even typed her as Introverted, had she not told me she'd self-typed as ISFP. I had thought that she was ESTP.) Before we graduated, she told everyone she was going to the same high school as most of us. And when the 9th grade started, I myself was so busy with learning to organize and time-manage with pointless, repetitive and boring studies (difficult for an INTP), that I didn't hear about her until halfway through the year.
Some of our old friends (people closer to her) were asking if we had heard from her, confessing that they hadn't either. It was already the "tech age" we discuss today, and if one friend didn't respond to anyone's messages for two weeks, you could start to worry they're dead. I told them that, rationally speaking, it was more likely that she had just gone to a different school, but they had trouble believing their friend would leave without telling them or contacting them later.
We soon forgot, because life was life. But recently, one of my friends brought her up in a conversation: According to one of our old teachers, she had moved away and gone to a different high school. Some of her friends were very shocked at the confirmation of this.
It didn't matter to me then, but now I'm pondering the morality of this: She was absolutely fine at our school, there was no reason to cut contact. Those friends of hers were very worried, albeit irrationally so, and after this pondering, I've come to the conclusion that it had been neither a considerate nor characteristic decision on her part.
For the most part, I am just curious to know what may have caused her to make that uncharacteristic decision. I don't have much experience with ISFPs (or social interactions as a whole), so I am hoping that you ISFPs out there can offer some insight.
Here are some facts from my memory:
- The reason she didn't seem introverted at all was because she talked to everybody. She didn't have a fixed group of friends, just wandered around and talked with whomever.
- The only thing we could agree on about her was that she was extremely obsessed with football (soccer in Canada).
- There were at times random excited outbursts when she saw her favourite teams and players. (We used to call her Messi Jessie, haha.)
- Sometimes she was openly stressed/annoyed for reasons she didn't explain.
- She was skilled with small talk, and not bad with introspective philosophy, either.
- For a few weeks or so, she was suddenly very uncharacteristically discouraged and snappy. After that, she was fine.
- She remembered everybody's birthday. Football shirt numbers, too.
- Sometimes she was really "intense" or "into" obsessions of hers, such as football.
- She always presented a "different" perspective in discussions. May have just wanted for us to gain insight.
- During graduation, she was one of the only people who didn't cry.
- Honestly, she was better at academics than probably any of us. I recall the girls being extremely jealous of her grades.
- She was a good singer, they also talked enviously about her talent.
- The last time I spoke with her, she said she wasn't nervous for high school, and when I said that I hoped we had the same classes (so she could help me with my French), she said she hoped so too.
- Until this day, she hasn't contacted any one of us.
Now, I believe she is actually ISFP, because I think her talk-to-everybody philosophy was just an attempt to be nonconforming; we always moved in groups. She may have been a more interpersonally confident ISFP (as in introverted, but not shy), choosing to use small talk instead of sharing deep and personal thoughts with others.
Can you please think of some of your experiences and feelings, and perhaps relate that to what I've described here?
Thank you for reading or even just skimming that, I know that was a long piece. But I would rather the door be opened to some possibilities than the possibilities remaining absolutely unknown to my friends and I.
Again, thank you for any help at all you can offer, and have a great day
P.S. Have any of you also had a friend cut contact with everyone and disappear, or have any of you ever done something similar? Any of that would be very helpful, thanks.