ISTP Stare

ISTP Stare

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This is a discussion on ISTP Stare within the ISTP Forum - The Mechanics forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Hello, I recently joined the site and have been really impressed with the level of insight shared on this forum. ...

  1. #1

    ISTP Stare

    Hello,

    I recently joined the site and have been really impressed with the level of insight shared on this forum. I was hoping someone could help me with a ISTP I just met.

    My employer recently hired a new college graduate (25 years old) to fill a vacancy and subsequently my boss asked me to train. I am a 32 year old male INFJ and after getting to know him over the past month of training I am confident he is a ISTP.

    We share similar hobbies and interests and just two days ago he invited me along to one of his hiking expiditions. I was really on the fence about how well he liked me as he is hard to read. Since the invite, he and I both have begun to share a lot more detail about our daily lives - something he for any other person gives a typical ISTP generic answer if asked.

    What brings me here looking for an answer revolves around how this particular ISTP stares at me. For the past week, as I pass by him, I catch him out of the corner of my eye staring at me. Only me. He does not do this towards others and has little interest in how others in the room are behaving. Yet, it is like he watches my every move with his head tilted just enough to see me so he could turn quickly if needed.

    He is a bit immature still and thinks he is being slick when he does this. When I naturally turn in his direction, he quickly adjusts his head like he had no idea I was there. And his facial expression is really weird when he does this with his mouth slightly open. Interestingly as of late, he has started to not pull away and we lock eyes face to face.

    Admittedly, I too stare at times at people I am trying to size up. However, how this ISTP stares is unlike anything I have ever encountered as my Feeling trait tells me his overall body language does not correlate like he is trying to "read me".

    Then today, I again noticed through a reflection on a piece of glass he was staring at me. A few moments later he mumbled and asked me over to his work station for some help. We work in a lab and he needed to transfer some acid. He asked if I would do it.

    Mind you, he has far more academic experience at this than I do. The task at hand did not at all need two people but I happily obliged. In fact, he had done a similiar task earlier today without me. While I was in the pouring process, he then proceeded to place his hand on the glass container to pour the solution with me.

    I don't like to be "touchy" at all with someone unless I know them and this really made me uncomfortable as it just simply caught me off guard. If this had been any other coworker I would not even thought twice about it. I felt like he artificially created the task just to get near me.

    I have read about how a ISTP can gaze but I was hoping someone could shed some light on why an ISTP stares secretly when they are not upset. I hate to talk myself up but I am usually good at reading body language but he leaves me so perplexed as to his motives.

    Am I overthinking this and was he just trying to study me? Was this a poor social attempt using his physical instinct to create a situation to try to bond? Or perhaps he has a sexual attraction towards me? If so, I read my INFJ personality is not one they typically like. I am curious to understand why an ISTP would secretly stare.



  2. #2
    ISTP

    Cute, say "Hi".

  3. #3

    From what I understand about ISTPs, it would seem he is exhibiting some level of interest in you. Whether that is romantic or platonic, I cannot say. Usually with ISTPs, I've found you just have to go with the flow and see how things play out. They're pretty chill.

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  5. #4
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    He's is interested. He is a sensor and we like physical beauty. So we look when we like someone. However that interest is most of the time not enough to initiate.

    Most of the time I have forgotten the person as soon as she is out of my senses. The only time I don't is when I was infatuated. But then initiating wasn't a big success either. I fucked it up pretty quickly.

    I fixed that, now just become infatuated to see if the fix worked. It is supposed to be love, but I remain an ISTP...

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Spell66 View Post
    He's is interested. He is a sensor and we like physical beauty. So we look when we like someone. However that interest is most of the time not enough to initiate.

    Most of the time I have forgotten the person as soon as she is out of my senses. The only time I don't is when I was infatuated. But then initiating wasn't a big success either. I fucked it up pretty quickly.

    I fixed that, now just become infatuated to see if the fix worked. It is supposed to be love, but I remain an ISTP...
    Thank you for your input. He does seem to forget or not even notice things that happened a few days prior so that makes sense. To me, it is just odd he continues to stare. It would seem like that would get old or if there was an interest, why not just take the risk and speak up.

  7. #6
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by Slim8692 View Post
    Thank you for your input. He does seem to forget or not even notice things that happened a few days prior so that makes sense. To me, it is just odd he continues to stare. It would seem like that would get old or if there was an interest, why not just take the risk and speak up.
    I don't know. I forget visuals details very quickly, since I am not a strong image thinker. So basically it does not really bore that easily.

    I have no idea, but it is not about risk or anything for me. I have no trouble being rejected. I have a sound self worth and self esteem, yet I don't do it. I also cannot compare it to other men, since I have no idea what drives them and how that feels. Sex is not a drive for me either so I don't know that feeling either.

    I also don't feel bad for not talking to a girl. I don't think in terms as "what could have happened if...". I lost that Disney dream stuff a long time ago.

    Maybe someone else here can elaborate better.

  8. #7

    Don't trust the romance eyes. Don't do it. Run.

  9. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by marbledinks View Post
    Don't trust the romance eyes. Don't do it. Run.
    That's exactly my concern.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Spell66 View Post
    He's is interested. He is a sensor and we like physical beauty. So we look when we like someone. However that interest is most of the time not enough to initiate.

    Most of the time I have forgotten the person as soon as she is out of my senses. The only time I don't is when I was infatuated. But then initiating wasn't a big success either. I fucked it up pretty quickly.

    I fixed that, now just become infatuated to see if the fix worked. It is supposed to be love, but I remain an ISTP...
    So in a broader context, what do you "get" out of a relationship then for the hassle? Like, do you desire a warm body to go home to after your alone time (not necessarily for sex)? Someone to just socialize with for a bit? Perhaps do it for social appearances?

  11. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by marbledinks View Post
    Don't trust the romance eyes. Don't do it. Run.
    Haha I love this.

    And I know the ISTP stare all too well. :3 For awhile I was super uncomfortable and then I just started staring back once I knew him better. Lol
    Scoobyscoob thanked this post.


     
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