I recently joined the site and have been really impressed with the level of insight shared on this forum. I was hoping someone could help me with a ISTP I just met.
My employer recently hired a new college graduate (25 years old) to fill a vacancy and subsequently my boss asked me to train. I am a 32 year old male INFJ and after getting to know him over the past month of training I am confident he is a ISTP.
We share similar hobbies and interests and just two days ago he invited me along to one of his hiking expiditions. I was really on the fence about how well he liked me as he is hard to read. Since the invite, he and I both have begun to share a lot more detail about our daily lives - something he for any other person gives a typical ISTP generic answer if asked.
What brings me here looking for an answer revolves around how this particular ISTP stares at me. For the past week, as I pass by him, I catch him out of the corner of my eye staring at me. Only me. He does not do this towards others and has little interest in how others in the room are behaving. Yet, it is like he watches my every move with his head tilted just enough to see me so he could turn quickly if needed.
He is a bit immature still and thinks he is being slick when he does this. When I naturally turn in his direction, he quickly adjusts his head like he had no idea I was there. And his facial expression is really weird when he does this with his mouth slightly open. Interestingly as of late, he has started to not pull away and we lock eyes face to face.
Admittedly, I too stare at times at people I am trying to size up. However, how this ISTP stares is unlike anything I have ever encountered as my Feeling trait tells me his overall body language does not correlate like he is trying to "read me".
Then today, I again noticed through a reflection on a piece of glass he was staring at me. A few moments later he mumbled and asked me over to his work station for some help. We work in a lab and he needed to transfer some acid. He asked if I would do it.
Mind you, he has far more academic experience at this than I do. The task at hand did not at all need two people but I happily obliged. In fact, he had done a similiar task earlier today without me. While I was in the pouring process, he then proceeded to place his hand on the glass container to pour the solution with me.
I don't like to be "touchy" at all with someone unless I know them and this really made me uncomfortable as it just simply caught me off guard. If this had been any other coworker I would not even thought twice about it. I felt like he artificially created the task just to get near me.
I have read about how a ISTP can gaze but I was hoping someone could shed some light on why an ISTP stares secretly when they are not upset. I hate to talk myself up but I am usually good at reading body language but he leaves me so perplexed as to his motives.
Am I overthinking this and was he just trying to study me? Was this a poor social attempt using his physical instinct to create a situation to try to bond? Or perhaps he has a sexual attraction towards me? If so, I read my INFJ personality is not one they typically like. I am curious to understand why an ISTP would secretly stare.