tl;dr Any advice on how to handle my sensitive ISFP-side with his sometimes direct and (in my view) offensive ISTP comments when he's unable to comfort me and I don't want to come across as immature?
So I'm ISFP and am dating someone who I analyzed to be ISTP. We're very similar in most things but there's a strong F-T difference, I think.
I tend to dwell on things that he says for sometime and if I bring it up later, he will always be surprised and say "you're still thinking about that?!".
For example, 2 days ago he said "My ex was a great kisser." That's a perfectly fine statement I suppose (and also a stupid and inconsiderate one) but I took it as "you're a bad kisser and I miss my ex" and still have it in the back of my mind every time we kiss now as if I'm being compared and need to prove that I'm a good kisser. (BTW I'm not a bad kisser at all, but it's just one of several examples where he says something I find offensive and then keep dwelling on it.)
Any advice on this? He's quite bad with talking and I basically have to drag a somewhat comforting response out of him, like by asking "So what things do you like about me more than your ex?". I don't know, I'm a very sensitive person but I don't think he is in that regard. It happened several times now and I'm not sure how to handle that. I don't want to come across as immature (which he sorta implied by saying I'm not "mature enough"), but I do feel quite bad for a long time after comments like that. And then I feel bad for feeling bad. If that makes sense.
I honestly don't think it's a matter of maturity, though. I'm just sensitive by nature and if someone I care about says something I find offensive that thought will slowly spiral out of control in my mind if I'm not comforted, making it much bigger and worse in my head than the comment really was.
Aside from that we get along perfectly. We have the exact same interests, we like each other greatly and love spending quiet time together just hugging and kissing. It's just this issue where he seems to be a bit direct sometimes and then doesn't know how to fix it (and nor do I). And I feel bad for being so sensitive. I want to make him happy, but I can't help feeling this way about certain comments. ^^;