[ISTP] Getting my bf's type down - ISTP or ISFP?

Getting my bf's type down - ISTP or ISFP?

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This is a discussion on Getting my bf's type down - ISTP or ISFP? within the ISTP Forum - The Mechanics forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Hi Curious to know my bf's personality type but I'm finding him hard to pin down. I know "who" he ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    Getting my bf's type down - ISTP or ISFP?

    Hi
    Curious to know my bf's personality type but I'm finding him hard to pin down. I know "who" he is but none of the descriptions seem to fit him.

    He is an ISTP in these ways:
    - loves driving fast
    - good with computers/technology
    - extremely intelligent but left school because the rules were stifling
    - Lives in the moment
    - Needs huge amounts of space, dislikes socialising
    - Not great with understanding my emotions unless I explain them to him thoroughly.
    - Can be insensitive if he picks the wrong words, but always has good intentions.
    - Very sharp wit (one liners especially)

    He is an ISFP in these ways:
    - Strong like for animals, nature and beauty.
    - Spends a lot of time taking photographs of nature - particularly the sky (in his word: "gay for rainbows")
    - Good artist and happy when engaging in art - except for when it does not meet his very high standards
    - Incredibly loyal and loving toward me - loves romantic surprises but they must be unique and in no way cliched
    - Musician and has practical obsession with music of all kinds.

    Although he cares deeply for others, he doesn't seem like an F because he doesn't have much insight into his emotions or the emotions of others and doesn't necessarily read people correctly. He prefers to ignore his emotions unless they are positive. He knows when I'm upset but does not know why (even if obvious!). Asks what's wrong but leaves it if I don't want to talk about it and waits until I'm ready.

    What do you think? I'm so confused!



  2. #2
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    He is an ISTP in these ways:
    - loves driving fast
    - good with computers/technology

    - extremely intelligent but left school because the rules were stifling
    - Lives in the moment
    - Needs huge amounts of space, dislikes socialising
    - Not great with understanding my emotions unless I explain them to him thoroughly.
    - Can be insensitive if he picks the wrong words, but always has good intentions.
    - Very sharp wit (one liners especially)


    He is an ISFP in these ways:
    - Strong like for animals, nature and beauty.
    - Spends a lot of time taking photographs of nature - particularly the sky (in his word: "gay for rainbows")
    - Good artist and happy when engaging in art - except for when it does not meet his very high standards
    - Incredibly loyal and loving toward me - loves romantic surprises but they must be unique and in no way cliched
    - Musician and has practical obsession with music of all kinds.
    The bolded parts are typical ISTP features. Hobbies (painting, instruments, photograph) alter from person to person despite their personality type.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by Erbse View Post
    The bolded parts are typical ISTP features. Hobbies (painting, instruments, photograph) alter from person to person despite their personality type.
    Ah...I think I'd got the wrong idea from the description of the ISTP as "mechanic", which doesn't seem to suit him. Cheers for explaining :-)

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  5. #4
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    You might want to read through this.

    It's highly accurate, many ISTPs will agree anyway. Though, it's quite a chunk to read through.

  6. #5
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by Erbse View Post
    You might want to read through this.

    It's highly accurate, many ISTPs will agree anyway. Though, it's quite a chunk to read through.
    There is a lot! I read most of it. So frustrating, though - I read a bit of it and think "yes, that's so true!" then another bit and think, no that's the opposite of him. Like the cool/geeky thing. I guess people sometimes think he's cool by default (I think he's cool) but I don't think he really wants anyone to think he's cool. He certainly makes no effort to come across that way. He is geeky and loves it. He has no sense of fashion or of charm. His mother buys all of his clothes (he's about to turn 30) because he would never buy anything himself, so she just gives him a lot on Christmas/birthdays so that he's not wearing really scruffy things (but he does anyway - he's constantly covered in grease from the workshop he works in). That's fine with me because I'm the same. He is also not brilliant at reading body language. I can't expect him to guess how I feel, I have to say something. The only thing he picks up on is if I go quiet - I talk all the time so this seems odd to him and he knows there's something wrong. But body language would be beyond him. Hm...he is childish when he's angry - he just makes a load of noise and stomps about - and then he's too stubborn to apologise (except to me - he won't apologise to others) even if it's going to make life hard and it's a bit unfair. So that sounds right. Definitely no conspiracy theories! Definitely no physical violence. He will speak back to people who cross his values though - racists etc - if he hears them speak. Even if it's a stranger in a queue. But he does this rarely. Oh and Eye for an Eye - definitely not. He's bigger than that (although I guess he does sometimes play dirty...) But he's got a very lefty, non violent, elitist point of view. He certainly wouldn't say those that kill should be killed for example, or those that fight she have violence done unto them.

    God I'm rambling. Altogether it seems like this is probably the right personality type because I don't fit all the INFJ stuff either. I have no intention of saving the world and I dislike being emotional, for example (although I definitely am emotional!) I'm mainly interested, I suppose, because me and bf are the same person almost. The differences between us are his difficulty (but strong desire) in understanding emotions or reading people and his quicker temper - he is not good with diplomacy but I won't have any conflict without diplomacy so usually he storms off, sits on his own for five minutes, then sheepishly wanders back in to apologise. In every other way we are the same. We share values, interests, the way we approach relationships, we have the same sense of humour, we are both obsessive over stupid things...I was interested, I guess, to see how two people who obviously have very different personality types can be so similar. We never argue because of this. We basically have nothing to argue about because we always agree. But all we share is introversion!

    Sorry for the long ramble - I do that. Thanks for the help!!!

    EDIT: One last word. I could have described my boyfriend so easily with the words I use for him, and everybody who meets him immediately describes him as well: "A loveable curmudgeon". That's basically it. Grumpy, silent and reserved but deeply caring.
    chinotto thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    sounds like an istp to me. While the page is really accurate in describing the functions and how they work for us but it has some discrepancies and you cant use it to evaluate someone based on it. It is too violent in my view and too "be cool" to be true. But it is accurate if you are one yourself.

    Almost everything you said could be applied to me more or less. There are a lot of similarities so i think he might be an istp aswell. A emotionally retarded one. However, reading body language for flirtation and anything towards us is a blind spot. Reading other people and their motivations however is not. Can he read other people who he isnt interacting with well?
    madhatter thanked this post.

  8. #7
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by Kadjunga View Post
    Can he read other people who he isnt interacting with well?
    I think you're right that he is an ISTP, but on this particular issue - I haven't noticed him read people at all well. He is not gullible, I wouldn't say, and I think he can tell when people are untrustworthy but he seems to get this from more obvious behaviours rather than body language. I tend to think he wrongly misinterprets people's actions and words and gets offended. When he tells me what happened I think - yeah, I see how you took that the wrong way but it seems really clear to me what they meant by that. He sees things on face value and can't really go deeper than that unless I tell him. I think he would love to be able to, though. He usually wants to know what's wrong with me. He recently said, after over a year of being together and most of that living together, that he has come to realise that I am not a happy person. I will admit I try to mask my unhappiness but I'm not very good at it! He has suffered from depression in the past and it has very recently occurred to him that I feel a similar way. Just seems to have taken him a long time to work that out! He normally works out what I might be thinking by trying to place himself in my situation - which is good - but what he fails to do is take into account that we are different people. He fails to foresee what my particular personality would do in certain situations - or usually anyway - and he worries that I will get upset about things I definitely won't so doesn't say them but then says things that will upset me without realising they will! He misreads but he tries his best!

  9. #8
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    Quote Originally Posted by ukinfj View Post
    I think you're right that he is an ISTP, but on this particular issue - I haven't noticed him read people at all well. He is not gullible, I wouldn't say, and I think he can tell when people are untrustworthy but he seems to get this from more obvious behaviours rather than body language. I tend to think he wrongly misinterprets people's actions and words and gets offended. When he tells me what happened I think - yeah, I see how you took that the wrong way but it seems really clear to me what they meant by that. He sees things on face value and can't really go deeper than that unless I tell him. I think he would love to be able to, though. He usually wants to know what's wrong with me. He recently said, after over a year of being together and most of that living together, that he has come to realise that I am not a happy person. I will admit I try to mask my unhappiness but I'm not very good at it! He has suffered from depression in the past and it has very recently occurred to him that I feel a similar way. Just seems to have taken him a long time to work that out! He normally works out what I might be thinking by trying to place himself in my situation - which is good - but what he fails to do is take into account that we are different people. He fails to foresee what my particular personality would do in certain situations - or usually anyway - and he worries that I will get upset about things I definitely won't so doesn't say them but then says things that will upset me without realising they will! He misreads but he tries his best!
    That sounds very istp to me. Thinking someone has wronged him when they haven't happens a lot.

  10. #9
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by ukinfj View Post
    Hi
    Curious to know my bf's personality type but I'm finding him hard to pin down. I know "who" he is but none of the descriptions seem to fit him.

    He is an ISTP in these ways:
    - loves driving fast
    - good with computers/technology
    - extremely intelligent but left school because the rules were stifling
    - Lives in the moment
    - Needs huge amounts of space, dislikes socialising
    - Not great with understanding my emotions unless I explain them to him thoroughly.
    - Can be insensitive if he picks the wrong words, but always has good intentions.
    - Very sharp wit (one liners especially)


    He is an ISFP in these ways:
    - Strong like for animals, nature and beauty.
    - Spends a lot of time taking photographs of nature - particularly the sky (in his word: "gay for rainbows")
    - Good artist and happy when engaging in art - except for when it does not meet his very high standards
    - Incredibly loyal and loving toward me - loves romantic surprises but they must be unique and in no way cliched
    - Musician and has practical obsession with music of all kinds.

    Although he cares deeply for others, he doesn't seem like an F because he doesn't have much insight into his emotions or the emotions of others and doesn't necessarily read people correctly. He prefers to ignore his emotions unless they are positive. He knows when I'm upset but does not know why (even if obvious!). Asks what's wrong but leaves it if I don't want to talk about it and waits until I'm ready.

    What do you think? I'm so confused!
    I've either done or can relate to everyone of those. The ways he's an ISFP seem to be more like personal quirks, nothing extremely odd about them. I mean I like people, I just think a good amount of them are fucking annoying and should leave me the hell alone 99.9% of the time. I usually try to just focus on my positive emotions, if I feel bad about something I just sit down and sort through it so I'm not feeling crappy all the time. I can tell when my friends, family or significant other is upset but I don't assume what's wrong, not ever. Period. I just wait for them to come to me, if they want to talk they can talk otherwise I'll assume they want space to work things out. Though, there is the rare off chance I go up to a obviously upset friend and ask if somethings bothering them and proceed to listen to a sad rant.
    ClarifiedMind thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I know a guy who sounds a lot like this. When I talked through functions and ISTP stuff he seemed rather close to an ISTP. However he also shares the features of...

    - Dorky / not cool / mom buys his clothes
    - Feelings hurt easily / takes stuff personally / misinterprets
    - Awkward at expressing feelings

    Maybe he's a little high-F.

    This one is not "gay for rainbows" though. : )


     

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