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This is a discussion on Ask an ISTP within the ISTP Forum - The Mechanics forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; May I know what it means when an ISTP 9w8 ignores a series of your text messages asking about his ...

  1. #371

    May I know what it means when an ISTP 9w8 ignores a series of your text messages asking about his day, and sharing some things he may like with him?

    My ISTP friend only replies me when I tell him it would help if he told me what was going on whenever he ignored my messages and calls... seemingly to fix the problem I have with him. Most recently, he attributed his lack of response to his busy and tiring work schedule. Yet, I often catch him seemingly talking to other people online. Each time he does this I feel like I'm not important to him at all, though he is, to me.

    He told me that I could still text him if I felt sad or anything, when I told him I would give him space for work, and in a way I feel like I can't approach him for anything other than if I needed something. :( He also doesn't seem to enjoy talking to me much anymore like he used to. I really wonder what's going on.

  2. #372

    By the way, is it possible for an ISTP 9w8 to look longingly at you, as if waiting for you to make some moves towards him, and on another occasion, come completely into your personal space, arm pressing against yours, though he has made it clear to you that he isn't really interested in anything more than a friendship with you? What exactly can be going on in an ISTP for him to be so conflicted in his actions and words?

  3. #373
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by popcornsoymatcha View Post
    May I know what it means when an ISTP 9w8 ignores a series of your text messages asking about his day, and sharing some things he may like with him?

    My ISTP friend only replies me when I tell him it would help if he told me what was going on whenever he ignored my messages and calls... seemingly to fix the problem I have with him. Most recently, he attributed his lack of response to his busy and tiring work schedule. Yet, I often catch him seemingly talking to other people online. Each time he does this I feel like I'm not important to him at all, though he is, to me.

    He told me that I could still text him if I felt sad or anything, when I told him I would give him space for work, and in a way I feel like I can't approach him for anything other than if I needed something. :( He also doesn't seem to enjoy talking to me much anymore like he used to. I really wonder what's going on.
    It seems like he's just busy and overwhelmed. It's clear he does care about you because he said he'd listen if you need him, when obviously he's got a fucking plateful of his own. I can't speak for ISTP males but if I don't care about someone I dismiss them completely. It doesn't seem like he's done that.

    He`s told you what`s going on, he`s tired. If there is really more to it, pestering him with your insecurities will not improve the situation. You really shouldn't be watching what he does online, because it's none of your business. Give him the space you said you would, show him you are capable of doing so. That might be all he needs.
    popcornsoymatcha thanked this post.

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  5. #374

    Not an ask but an answer. I want to give all of you ISTPs big hugs and watch your eyes get really large and see you cartwheel your arms in protest. : ( But we can't go father than that because it'll never work out. But you guys are so cute in your badassness! : D

  6. #375

    Quote Originally Posted by popcornsoymatcha View Post
    May I know what it means when an ISTP 9w8 ignores a series of your text messages asking about his day, and sharing some things he may like with him?

    My ISTP friend only replies me when I tell him it would help if he told me what was going on whenever he ignored my messages and calls... seemingly to fix the problem I have with him. Most recently, he attributed his lack of response to his busy and tiring work schedule. Yet, I often catch him seemingly talking to other people online. Each time he does this I feel like I'm not important to him at all, though he is, to me.

    He told me that I could still text him if I felt sad or anything, when I told him I would give him space for work, and in a way I feel like I can't approach him for anything other than if I needed something. :( He also doesn't seem to enjoy talking to me much anymore like he used to. I really wonder what's going on.
    Yeah, that'd kind of how we are - sorry! .. Not to sound insensitive but we are always open for the next thing. One moment we can be a lot into X and next moment we turn all our attention into Y. It doesn't mean we don't care about X anymore, it just means Y is likely more of a novelty and more interesting for the moment. By X and Y I mean everything, it can be projects, people or a tv-show.

    My advice to you is to not make much of big deal out of it, don't take it personally. What he choses to focus on at the moment is not really your responsibility or fault and as he mentioned, our energy-level plays a lot of importance on what we decide to focus on.

    His actions might not show that to you, but when he tells you that you can text him whenever you need him - he is actually being very honest and telling you that you have a special place for you in his heart. You should be happy with that, there isn't many people we reserve places in our hearts for.

    Also, if I was him I would really appreciate you telling me what you wrote here. Call him up say you are sad and need to talk and tell him what you wrote in person. But you may check that with other ISTP members here, I am a Enneagram type 6 and that makes me more sentimental and open than the average ISTP.
    mightynim and popcornsoymatcha thanked this post.

  7. #376

    Hello ISTPs, I'm in a bit of a confusing situation. There's a girl I've been talking to who's ISTP. It's long distance, so we never actually meet in person(although we will be seeing each other soon). We've been talking for a few months now, and for the past month-ish we've talked to each other every single night until we fell asleep. 90% of the time we just make fun of each other and joke around, but occasionally we talk about serious things as well. Things like what we think about each other, or even goals we may have. It seems to be headed towards a potential relationship. But I have reason to believe that she recently had sex with another guy, then went home and called me to talk to me all night again lol. I know we aren't committed to each other so she's not technically wrong by doing that. Still, it kind of sucks being on the other end of it. So what do you guys think about this? Is it wrong? Is it ok? What is the appropriate response to this scenario in your opinion?

  8. #377

    How do I find out how an ISTP is doing? I'm a teacher and I have an ISTP student that's just always quietly doing his thing. I've tried some things to get him to connect with me. Asking him directly, telling him I'm there if he has questions or even just letting him do his thing... In any case, he's never asked me anything or indicated in any way that he needs help. When I ask him how he's doing he says he's fine.

    So the question is: is there another approach I could try or is this just normal? I do want him to feel like I value his input but I'm at a loss for how to find out if he even wants to have an input. Do ISTP's have a good understanding of how they're doing or do they just go on until things go wrong and then try a different approach?

    Sorry for the large amount of questions but I'm really at a loss for how to approach the situation. Anything you could say can be a great help to me.

  9. #378
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Absentee View Post
    Hello ISTPs, I'm in a bit of a confusing situation. There's a girl I've been talking to who's ISTP. It's long distance, so we never actually meet in person(although we will be seeing each other soon). We've been talking for a few months now, and for the past month-ish we've talked to each other every single night until we fell asleep. 90% of the time we just make fun of each other and joke around, but occasionally we talk about serious things as well. Things like what we think about each other, or even goals we may have. It seems to be headed towards a potential relationship. But I have reason to believe that she recently had sex with another guy, then went home and called me to talk to me all night again lol. I know we aren't committed to each other so she's not technically wrong by doing that. Still, it kind of sucks being on the other end of it. So what do you guys think about this? Is it wrong? Is it ok? What is the appropriate response to this scenario in your opinion?
    If only there was some way to make another person know what you're thinking about... You know, like... communicating...
    flyincaveman thanked this post.

  10. #379

    Quote Originally Posted by Drecon View Post
    How do I find out how an ISTP is doing? I'm a teacher and I have an ISTP student that's just always quietly doing his thing. I've tried some things to get him to connect with me. Asking him directly, telling him I'm there if he has questions or even just letting him do his thing... In any case, he's never asked me anything or indicated in any way that he needs help. When I ask him how he's doing he says he's fine.

    So the question is: is there another approach I could try or is this just normal? I do want him to feel like I value his input but I'm at a loss for how to find out if he even wants to have an input. Do ISTP's have a good understanding of how they're doing or do they just go on until things go wrong and then try a different approach?

    Sorry for the large amount of questions but I'm really at a loss for how to approach the situation. Anything you could say can be a great help to me.
    As for "ISTP's have a good understanding of how they're doing or do they just go on until things go wrong and then try a different approach?"

    Yes.

    As for his input and how you get it... well... he probably doesn't want to give it. Depends on the subject you teach and his interest level. But considering that it's a class that requires participation, I'm guessing political science or literature based?

    You have to figure out something he DOES like and make a cross connection with the subject matter at hand. Getting our attention is easy. Holding it is slightly harder. It just has to be interesting for us.
    zynthaxx, mightynim and Drecon thanked this post.

  11. #380
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Drecon View Post
    How do I find out how an ISTP is doing? I'm a teacher and I have an ISTP student that's just always quietly doing his thing. I've tried some things to get him to connect with me. Asking him directly, telling him I'm there if he has questions or even just letting him do his thing... In any case, he's never asked me anything or indicated in any way that he needs help. When I ask him how he's doing he says he's fine.

    So the question is: is there another approach I could try or is this just normal? I do want him to feel like I value his input but I'm at a loss for how to find out if he even wants to have an input. Do ISTP's have a good understanding of how they're doing or do they just go on until things go wrong and then try a different approach?

    Sorry for the large amount of questions but I'm really at a loss for how to approach the situation. Anything you could say can be a great help to me.
    I'm a pretty literal person. If someone told me to see them if I had any questions, my natural reaction would be to not see them until I had questions I couldn't think of any other way of answering than by asking them.
    If your student is "doing his thing" and not underperforming (in amount of work performed or results achieved), then I'd say he probably doesn't have any questions directed at you.

    If you specifically want input from him based on premises in your curriculum, present that fact to him: "To be able to grade you correctly I need to see how you interact with me and with other students, so you need to [comment your work/ask smart questions/whatever]."
    flyincaveman and Drecon thanked this post.


     
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