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This is a discussion on Ask an ISTP within the ISTP Forum - The Mechanics forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Originally Posted by HyperRoyalty If an ISTP hurts someone's feelings with the honest truth/a statement not meant to but does ...

  1. #881
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by HyperRoyalty View Post
    If an ISTP hurts someone's feelings with the honest truth/a statement not meant to but does cause someone to slink away, what about that person would prompt the ISTP to reach out/reconnect?

    What about an extrovert would an ISTP put up with to enjoy socializing with them if they happen to be *too* talkative?



    What about an introvert would an ISTP put up with to enjoy socializing with them if they happen to be *too* quiet?
    I am accustomed to people slinking away due to my honesty. I'd try to talk to them again if I find their discussions interesting.

    I don't think in terms of too talkative or too quiet. If I find someone smart and interesting I enjoy socializing with them.
    I have never once met someone and thought they were 'too quiet'. If someone is quiet I assume they are smart and likely interesting.

  2. #882
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by HyperRoyalty View Post
    If an ISTP hurts someone's feelings with the honest truth/a statement not meant to but does cause someone to slink away, what about that person would prompt the ISTP to reach out/reconnect?

    What about an extrovert would an ISTP put up with to enjoy socializing with them if they happen to be *too* talkative?
    What about an introvert would an ISTP put up with to enjoy socializing with them if they happen to be *too* quiet?
    Personally, I'm pretty bad at maintaining friendships. I typically do the tit-for-tat thing so if the other party withdraws, I do so to. If they engage, then I engage.

    The extroversion / introversion slider isn't so important compared to having the a balanced amount of engagement / listening. One party talking all the time isn't a conversation; other party just nodding and not injecting any new information is equally one-sided. Small talk is pain but a necessary evil to doorway into interesting stuff.

  3. #883

    Hey you guys and girls :D. So I don't know if this is an overall trait of ISTP's but in most profiles it says they are calm in stressful situations. So firstly is this true and if yes how to you deal with stress? Do you notice it and cope with it or do you simply don't give a damn about stress? If you have any tips for me that would be amazing because it can be very counterproductive to be stressed at least for me.

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  5. #884
    ISTP

    Quote Originally Posted by SasK63 View Post
    Hey you guys and girls :D. So I don't know if this is an overall trait of ISTP's but in most profiles it says they are calm in stressful situations. So firstly is this true and if yes how to you deal with stress? Do you notice it and cope with it or do you simply don't give a damn about stress? If you have any tips for me that would be amazing because it can be very counterproductive to be stressed at least for me.
    I think there may be a misconception about ISTPs and stress.

    Situations that stress most people may not stress an ISTP. Emergencies, such as a fire, a terrorist incident, or a medical urgency are typically addressed in a matter of fact manner. ISTPs are less likely to “lose it” when things start to pop, and tend to keep a clear head in a crisis. For me personally, time seems to slow down and I get busy dealing with things.

    But there is another side to stress and the ISTP. When we do find something that stresses us, whatever that may be, we can be about as stressed as anyone else. An example might be a job interview where the new position could be life changing in a very favorable way. Another might be taking your last final exam before graduation and you’re weak in that subject. Pass and you graduate, fail and you are on the hook for another semester. ISTP or not, some things just get your attention.
    Northern Lights, SasK63 and Lord Thanksalot thanked this post.

  6. #885
    ISTP

    Quote Originally Posted by Rascal01 View Post
    I think there may be a misconception about ISTPs and stress.

    Situations that stress most people may not stress an ISTP. Emergencies, such as a fire, a terrorist incident, or a medical urgency are typically addressed in a matter of fact manner. ISTPs are less likely to “lose it” when things start to pop, and tend to keep a clear head in a crisis. For me personally, time seems to slow down and I get busy dealing with things.

    But there is another side to stress and the ISTP. When we do find something that stresses us, whatever that may be, we can be about as stressed as anyone else. An example might be a job interview where the new position could be life changing in a very favorable way. Another might be taking your last final exam before graduation and you’re weak in that subject. Pass and you graduate, fail and you are on the hook for another semester. ISTP or not, some things just get your attention.

    Yes. One thing to add is I tend to stress out a lot before a crisis with a real chance of happening, and panicking over thousands of possible catastrophes but not during the crisis when you know as a matter of fact which scenario is being played out I can only accept it and deal with it minute by minute.
    Rascal01 and SasK63 thanked this post.

  7. #886

    That moment when you want to answer, read other answers, and know you are in the right place, because they already said everything you possibly could have said.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rascal01 View Post
    Situations that stress most people may not stress an ISTP.
    So: What he said.


    Of course, to answer the second question, that also means it's quite unhelpful as advice. "How do I deal with stress?" "Oh, don't let things stress you." Well, duh. (It doesn't get better if you talk about the underlying processes either -- "time slows down" is another way of saying "focus on the present moment and task exclusively", which translates to "stop being an N(F)".)

    What I would do is ask other INFPs/NFs if they have a way of dealing with stress, that is probably going to be more productive.
    SasK63 thanked this post.

  8. #887
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by SasK63 View Post
    Hey you guys and girls :D. So I don't know if this is an overall trait of ISTP's but in most profiles it says they are calm in stressful situations. So firstly is this true and if yes how to you deal with stress? Do you notice it and cope with it or do you simply don't give a damn about stress? If you have any tips for me that would be amazing because it can be very counterproductive to be stressed at least for me.
    I am calm when called upon to use my skills. I am stressed when called upon to do something I am not skilled at.

    "Hey we have 4 injured people here in this burning building, you need to handle this" -I'm calm and ready
    "Please introduce yourself to the class and tell us a bit about yourself" -utter fucking panic

    It's not that we don't experience stress, it's just triggered by different things than for others.
    Rascal01 and SasK63 thanked this post.

  9. #888
    ISTP

    Quote Originally Posted by SasK63 View Post
    Hey you guys and girls :D. So I don't know if this is an overall trait of ISTP's but in most profiles it says they are calm in stressful situations. So firstly is this true and if yes how to you deal with stress? Do you notice it and cope with it or do you simply don't give a damn about stress? If you have any tips for me that would be amazing because it can be very counterproductive to be stressed at least for me.
    I repress my stress. With 20/20-hindsight I was stressed all the time over everything but didn't listen in on it. It came out 15 years later in the form of a mental breakdown.

    What stresses others out doesn't stress me, tbh I have no clear idea what stresses me.

    I'm basically healed after the life-changing breakdown now. I've learned a lot about what isn't normal, what shouldn't be acceptable mentally. Now I'm the ISTP-stress stereotype. Not even presenting myself to room full of strangers bothers me, like noted above. When I feel I'm stressed I basically stop and ask myself "why am I doing this? what am I doing? who is demanding it? Is it worth it to be worked up about this?", 101% of the time the answer is "NO!".

    I've surprised myself of the coolness and calmness I carry around on multiple occasions. I've found slowing down in extreme situations do more good than harm.
    Last edited by pwowq; 12-01-2019 at 12:08 PM.
    Battlelina and SasK63 thanked this post.


     
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