@Hicks : My understanding of "very emotional" as relating to a person is someone who very easily breaks out in obvious manifestation of emotions. Which you promptly nixed with "not good at showing". I don't know anyone who would call a person that never showed emotions (for whatever reason) "emotional". That's why I asked. If I had understood your sentence, I would have engaged the content :bwink:
Rephrasing: Could you describe in which way you think we are emotional?
I don't think of emotional in that way. That definition in Myers Briggs terms sounded more like Fe. The way I see it ISTPs (the healthier ones) are emotional but not very expressive about it. INFP super shadow means that they use Fi subconsciously, I think.
Here's one example actually. I know an ISTP who had a friend who was a heroin addict. He tried to help him get off drugs for a long time. He eventually cut him out of his life entirely because he knew that he wasn't going to get clean. Now my perception of why he did that is because he knew that his friend was probably going to die from an overdose and he knew that he was too sensitive to be able to handle it if it did happen. This is why ISTPs are prone to emotional detachment I think. Because they are overly sensitive to bad results. Hope this helps.
@Hicks : You told me my definition of that word was not what you had in mind. Given that I have no other, I literally didn't understand what you were saying. I asked in the same way you would ask if I said "You are akwtzfget". That kind of "don't understand".
This post cleared it up, though. "Sensitive" makes sense, and the example did, too. I disagree with regards to both :)
I would cut out a friend as well, but not because of fearing the emotional end, but rather, because in the end, I prioritise my life over theirs on the one hand, and on the other, in this situation, it's also factually correct -- it's established that if anything can (and there is little chance anything will), setting clear boundaries and distancing yourself has a chance of working on addicts. To corroborate: My grandparents are old and could die anytime (not sick or anything -- just old). I don't fear the hurt -- for that matter, I know there will be no big hurt, even though I love them very much, simply because I don't do big emotions.
It's going to be a muted kind of sadness, a dull pain that stays with you always; and consequently, my response is not to distance myself to somehow lessen the pain -- not least, because I don't think about the future enough to plan it that way, my domain the the present --, but rather, in the last few years, I've taken to spending as much time with them as I can, because the shared moments is what I'll remember them by. What does make me concerned is all the other people's emotions I will have no clue how to deal with. Like I said: Out of my depth. I know family will turn towards me as well for emotional support, and I will have no idea what to do: I cannot provide what they need. That's an uncomfortable situation.
And as regards "sensitive", and fear of being taken advantage of by vicious people: By some accounts, we are those "vicious people". When bluntness tips over into cruelty, when instead through ignorance offence is caused deliberately, when the imbalance of our insensitivity regarding emotional hurt compared to other people's is exploited to hit where it hurts without having to fear retribution in kind -- then that is still us, and rather the opposite of what you describe.
I maintain what I said: Emotional detachment is not something we do. It's something in us that is.
Can I ask you a question though. A lot of what you described as what you see as your weaknesses were Fe and I agree that Fe is a potential trouble spot for ISTPs. But if you ever read up on socionics it says that ISTPs have and use Fi. So my question is how do you relate to Fi ?? I understand that ISTPs are not walking around all the time being emotional but is it something that randomly shows up in your life every now and then ?? Oh yeah, and before you say MBTI and socionics are different systems let me just say that yes, they are different systems but they're both trying to explain the same thing which is the cognitive functions.
Have you ever read the socionics explanation of how ISTPs relate to Fi ?? If you haven't you might wanna give it a go go. It might help you to better answer my question. https://www.sociotype.com/socionics/types/LSI-ISTj/
@Hicks : I'll try my best. I have to say, though, that I prefer MBTI in letters, and that I don't know and don't think much of Socionics -- I relate to the ISTp, there, which I understand is a problem for that theory. So in terms of you linking the ISTj: No, I don't relate to that and never have. It sounds, in many ways, like the opposite of what I am, really. (And for that matter, it is the opposite if you compare any random MBTI ISTP profile -- clearly, something is not working here.)
As far sometimes showing emotions go: As I mentioned, I never (or rarely, and I'm terrible at it ...) hide what I feel. What you see is what you get. Which includes e.g. (very -- like, once-in-a-decade) rare bursts of anger, but mostly minor stuff: annoyance, irritation (those are the main negative ones), happieness, and the default one, contentment. So the relevant thing is not that I don't show emotions but sometimes I do. But rather, that I always show emotions, and usually, it's a tiny blib on the radar, because that's all that's there.
There's also a very convenient imbalance between good and bad feelings. I regularly feel immensely happy. Ice-skating under the moonlight, just me, the clear, cold night, and the ice. Sitting on a hill I climbed, feel the wind, see the land, and watch the sundown. Those are magic moments that fill me with happiness until it's almost too much to contain and I think it'll overflow. Conversely, I can't remember any moment in my entire life that had the equivalent in terms of anger.
So, Fi ...? I really dunno. As far as I am aware, typically it's described as personal subjective values and judgement based on that. I hardly ever think about things in terms of moral "wrong" or "right". I think in terms of (subjective) facts -- "true" or "false". Makes sense, doesn't make sense. Those are my judgements. I struggle to assign values to things -- consequently, in terms of ethics, I work along the lines of Kant, constructing rational considerations for oughts and oughtn'ts as best I can. I suppose you can look at this and say it's a deficit in "Fi", and that's how "Fi shows itself" in me, as a weakness -- but then, I'd argue, this is just the same as defining Fi as "Not Ti", which, if you go by the usual function model, indeed is the case, as IxTPs lack "Fi", and IxFPs lack "Ti".