Rather be yourself or rather be successful???

Rather be yourself or rather be successful???

View Poll Results: Be yourself or successful?

Voters
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  • Remain true to myself

    13 65.00%
  • Mask myself for success

    7 35.00%
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This is a discussion on Rather be yourself or rather be successful??? within the Member Polls forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Let's assume that the society (that you despise) would not accept your personality and you could'nt get social contacts or ...

  1. #1

    Rather be yourself or rather be successful???

    Let's assume that the society (that you despise) would not accept your personality and you could'nt get social contacts or a job because of that. Would you be yourself or would you mask yourself to fit in that unpleasant society for your hole life??



  2. #2

    I'd rather have a job (and success is even better) even if it means hiding myself.

    I always feel as though I have to act a different way from I am at home/online whenever in a public place, anyway. This would just be taking that behavior to an extreme.

  3. #3

    I would try to become a better version of myself to achieve what I desire. If I still cannot get what I want, I would try to mask myself even though I'm pretty sure I won't be able to do it.

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  5. #4

    I would rather be successful rather. mgyrhhjyrhu... your welcome!

  6. #5

    I feel like the "right" answer to this is supposed to be "be myself", but I would be miserable without people to socialize with or a way to take part in my community.

    So if the answer is whether I would rather hole myself up and resign myself to being on welfare, or pretend to be someone I'm not, I'd probably rather just try to find a decent enough niche that I could at least get a little interaction and income and just work a little to sustain and entertain myself. I adapt all the time to meet others' needs and rules. My limit is hurting others - as long as I'm not explicitly causing harm to others, I can generally handle whatever nonsense I'm asked to do.

    If it were that bad - I would just look into moving. If I don't have enough resources to move, and I wanted to, I'd suck it up and work to make the money needed to move to another community.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sandpit Turtle View Post
    II always feel as though I have to act a different way from I am at home/online whenever in a public place, anyway. This would just be taking that behavior to an extreme.
    Yeah, that's essentially how I feel, as well.

  7. #6

    Be myself, I don't care about people, I would go to live in the jungle
    Skeletalz thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Bimbo View Post
    Let's assume that the society (that you despise) would not accept your personality...

    The assumption can be considered regardless if one despises one's society, prevalent mores and customs, and the zeitgeist. Simply put, "Consider that your personality isn't valued by most people in your society..."

    ... and you could'nt [sic] get social contacts or a job because of that.

    This isn't a hypothetical for me regarding getting a job, but perhaps it's more because of my values themselves that are more the reason.

    Regarding "getting social contacts", I'm hearing this as seeing other people as necessary tools for self advancement. I don't think of people that way, nor do I act in that fashion (such as amalgamating as large a network as possible on Linked In simply because using people in that way might give me in-roads). Using people lessens me as a person. It makes me a failure rather than a success.

    ...Would you be yourself or would you mask yourself to fit in that unpleasant society for your hole [sic] life??

    The sad, embarrassing truth is that I both attempt to be myself as much as possible, but I also wear masks so that I am not in complete isolation1. I don't ever try to "fit into" society. My expectation is that "society" will make room fit for me rather than my trying to fit into a hole made for someone else.

    So this INFP, Enneagram 4, [ANTIPHRASIS] surprisingly [/ANTIPHRASIS] replies: be oneself. Survival isn't the same as living. Death of self by becoming another is at best mere survival.

     



    1There is a part of me concerned with not making people needlessly uncomfortable within my presence. Yet I wonder how much of that is more fear of rejection, hence the way I worded things above. I don't know what is worse, though: my telling lies regarding "How are you?" and the diminishing of the little self-worth/self-respect that I have (that pain); or the potential of people simply avoiding me completely when I provide truthful responses (that pain).

  9. #8

    what makes you think ''successful people'' are not them selves
    not everyone is capable of success

  10. #9

    Be as much myself as possible because the alternative almost killed me, literally.

    Put another way, I almost put an end to my existence because that's what it had come down to--existing for someone else, i.e. hiding central truths about myself for fear of what it would do to someone dear to me.

    I survived the suicide attempt because I got the sequencing wrong, and more frightening than anything is how I wasn't conscious I was going to make the attempt until I was literally going through the steps, writing the suicide note, telling myself, "Don't waver," and I didn't waver, but sequencing has always been a problem for me, so here I am.

    My husband had to take a leave of absence from work to take care of me as after I was let out of I.C.U. and into his care--that was the stipulation, his care or a psych ward--and the social worker called in to I.C.U. knew and respected me, told my husband, "She won't do well in the psych ward, if I release her to your custody, can you take care of her?" and he said yes.

    He had to feed me like a baby and do all the things one thinks of doing for someone unable to raise a cup to her lips and more...

    Now?

    I'm working more and more to get passed the gate keeper, the one some part of my psyche put in place to keep me safe as an infant, toddler, adolescent... but is damaging my life now--and has been for many, many years.

    I'll take being myself over success, but I hope--that isn't completely dead yet--that if it's possible--if I keep striving the tortoise way, I can be successful, too.

    Success to me isn't what it means to most I know:

    Being creative; living this day for the work I'm doing to get strong enough to take what is enriching inside and sharing it with some people; working with faith--based not on blindness but on vision--that some want to read what I have to share about this struggle:

    A hero doesn't have to do anything comic book grand.

    And under the 1,000 faces Joseph Campbell wrote about, there is something familiar to every human being capable of tapping into the best inside our species when someone else hits the collective tap root that in chaos looks like a nightmarish Gordian knot, but ordered in an honest way its complexity is recognizable and nourishing.
    Last edited by BranchMonkey; 01-12-2018 at 06:17 PM. Reason: paragraph breaks. couple changes.

  11. #10

    This question is flawed from where I'm standing. People skills are a pretty big part of anyone's personality. If you're good at handling people, it doesn't matter if your inherent personality is unattractive because you're able to work around it. That's what you do, right? Work around the shitty parts of your personality to achieve bountiful results.
    blackpants thanked this post.


     
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