ENFJ - INTJ Communications

ENFJ - INTJ Communications

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This is a discussion on ENFJ - INTJ Communications within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Question, I'm an INTJ living with a healthy INFJ-a (we get along great) and an unhealthy ENFJ-t, possible ESFJ. My ...

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    ENFJ - INTJ Communications

    Question, I'm an INTJ living with a healthy INFJ-a (we get along great) and an unhealthy ENFJ-t, possible ESFJ. My ENFJ roommate is usually emotionally distant, overly talkative (in my mind anyway) and gives off a kind of 'fake' persona of cheerfulness. She always wants to give advice on what she doesn't understand or she doesn't take her own advice. She uses extremely vague and non-specific language to communicate, and when I ask her to clarify she tells me "i'm not good at that kind of stuff" then tries to turn it back on me. Personal thoughts are that she has been hurt so much that she bottles everything up. Her way of working through hurt is to be completely alone, however the hurt always comes back up later so she isn't actually dealing with anything permanently. She thinks she wants me to share my frustrations and feelings, I have shared very small bits of frustration with her and asked her to fix them, but any time I want to revisit and say 'lets keep working on it' she feels attacked. I'm at the point where I believe she is emotionally manipulating the conversations and truly believing her own lies. It's hard for me to make any progress in these conversations because the more emotional she gets the more classic INTJ I get with facts and direct questions & data demands. My INTJ roommate thinks I could be nicer/softer because my motivation is to help her but I refuse to get down in her emotional pit of despair and drama. How do I address this without crushing her or just ignoring it? I need to put my foot down on a few things, how should I communicate? Help!?


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