I am an INFP female and my husband is an ESTJ. I know now there were somethings that I failed to see before we married. I am no stranger to messed up relationships. I told myself this one would be different. I would like to believe i was also played along by an ESTJ whose true colors were made clear once the honey moon phase was over.
Regardless i was wrapped into the fairy tale of him being my high school sweet heart coming back around after both our seven year relationships failed. So here we are and i feel as though the longer i spend with him the more i am struggling inside.
I have spent time getting to know him more then he ever has with me. I feel i poor on acceptance and credit because he works while i stay home. Thats made me more insecure and with more emotional needs being piled high from non forfillment. I try to talk to him and he gives me a list of practical things he does and asks what i do. Of course i feel like shit and not enough. I ask for time and love and he gives it in order to get sex. He texts me the same three words everyday. i love you. I feel guilty for not being happy but not once has he asked me how my day was or the kids. I get more attention ignoring him then i do telling how i feel. I never fill understood and i am told i should be happy about the roof over my head. He sees my emotional needs to be crap and i am starting to with drawl. I don't care to see his text right away. I am tired of doing all the work and watching him not care about me melting away.
It hurts to sleep with someone you cant even get off with cause you are so distant. Then when explain they dismiss you and ask what you have done for them lately. His favorite quote is how he gets nothing and i get taken care of. I feel so damn bad but not bad enough to sleep with a monster. I take care of two kids all day but his the only one whose able to give me love and conversation and does neither without some form of coldness or time restriction. How do i get it in his head without the fear of losing him to his flirting ways that this behavior needs to change. I see now its his personality but either way i am asked to do far more emotionally then him. He gets to hurt me with words and cry about sex. While i just look like a stay at home mom.