ISFJ crush dilemma

ISFJ crush dilemma

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  • 1 Post By tabahi
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This is a discussion on ISFJ crush dilemma within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; I like this ISFJ girl. I actually started noticing her when I noticed her noticing me. She is a typical ...

  1. #1

    ISFJ crush dilemma

    I like this ISFJ girl. I actually started noticing her when I noticed her noticing me. She is a typical ISFJ, shy, reserved, doesn't talk much, very good at remembering things, good kid habits and all that. I am an INFJ, not so different. So, she started saying hi to me in class within first few weeks after term classes started. I responded with general hi and good mornings. And gradually these simple hellos led to small talks. Most of the time initiated by her. That led me to believe she is interested in me. Then while she was under my observational radar, I found her to be very interesting and I developed crush on her. Now we have been friends (but not really close) for few months. Problem is, she has a boyfriend but I still get those romantic vibes from her as if she wants me to initiate something romantic with her.

    Dilemma is, I know that for ISFJ it's very hard to breakup from old relationship and be single then wait for my move. Because she is uncertain that I will make a move. But I can't really make my move until she is single.

    How can I get her to make that risky move?

    Note: I know you might be thinking I am such an idiot to think that this ISFJ has crush on me or that she would want to be with me instead of her current boyfriend. In this case, please assume my case as a hypothetical one. In my defense, I would just say: believe me, I know what she thinks, how she thinks.
    shazam thanked this post.

  2. #2

    What evidence do you have to suggest she wants you to make a move? And how serious are she and her boyfriend? How long have they been together?

    If they're very serious, I would treat carefully and not do anything for a while. If they're pretty casual, though, or they haven't been together long, and you're certain she likes you, I would honestly just tell her how you feel and let her decide what she'll do.

  3. #3

    Ask her if she wants to 9o for coffee or study or somethin9. Then when you're there she'll probably mention it to you while you're chattin9. You'll be able to make your next move from there. It just takes a little "discomfort" which is 9ood for you. It builds confidence.

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  5. #4

    This will sound clichéd - but if it was meant to be, it was meant to be.
    I would say that there is one thing you can't do: actively try to encourage her to break up with her current boyfriend.
    If she likes you back, she will consider you if things end with her current boyfriend on their own.
    It will take patience.
    And who knows - maybe once you get to know her better, you'll realize that she isn't who you idealized and you'll move on yourself.
    shazam thanked this post.

  6. #5

    It's entirely possible that she's a friend with no interest. I think it's best to not flirt or pursue a relationship at all out of respect for both her and her SO. I really hope everything works out for everyone involved but it's really best not to get involved in someone else's relationship or assume that you know what she's thinking.

    Plus, if she's the kind of person who would cheat on or break up with her boyfriend to be with you, it's entirely possible she'd do the same thing to you in the future.

    I say wait and see, but don't do or try to push anything.
    tabahi thanked this post.


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