INTP, physical touch and receiving gifts.
This is a discussion on MBTI type and Love Language within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; INTP, physical touch and receiving gifts....
INTP, physical touch and receiving gifts.
INTJ: Quality time, then Acts of Service.
1. Quality Time
Acts of service.
1. touch - I need and give this a lot, it's far beyond all the others for me. I live for cuddling!
2. quality time - but this is a bit of an odd one. I really don't require spending a lot of time with anyone actually, but I really value putting aside one's own agenda or distractions to give someone full attention when they want it, and I especially like having 'deep' conversations. I will still feel loved if I just have touch, but it's those conversations where you really connect that make a relationship feel full and exciting. So for me, what I mean by quality time is more conversation than doing things with others. But it also means waiting for them, allowing them to interrupt what you're doing, going out of your way to make time to be with them, looking at them when they want to talk and really listening, not sort of doing other things while they talk at you or making them follow you around while you keep doing your own stuff, not always expecting them to conform to your agenda and time-frame - Giving your Time and Attention. For me this is a sacrifice I consciously make because I feel a person is more important than my little world in my head - and that is saying a lot because that is my world. I don't make time to spend with someone, and I don't give my attention, Unless that person is important to me.
3. words of affirmation - I think probably comes in third, although....maybe it might be seccond, I'm not sure. I naturally give a lot of compliments to people. I don't necessarily need a lot of compliments myself in the same way I need touch, but I do notice that I tend to take negative words really hard, and tend to read a lack of positive words as negative, soo...in a round-about way I think this one is important. Hmm.... I wouldn't like someone writing poems to me because it feels sort of cheesy to me and I'm not really into poetry. I tend to feel awkward when people compliment me, not because I think they're wrong but because I think they are right and most of the time it's my own oppinion and standards I'm concerned about meeting so...from other people it's just sort of superfluous, even if it's nice to hear they agree with me. And yet...I know I need to have acceptance/approval clearly communicated, though it can just be through tone of voice or body language, not necessarily words. I know some people who seem to show disapproval a lot more easily and have trouble expressing approval, but I know they love me in spite of that, yet I have to say I can't really be content with that. And I know I need to hear the actual words "I love you" a lot. I tend to say it a lot, even more so when someone doesn't say it to me because I'm fishing for that phrase to be returned because I really need to hear it actually said.
4. acts of service - I'm not all that aware of what to do for people, or that they are doing things for me, but when favors are specifically asked I'm likely to go out of my way to take care of it for someone even if it's something I wouldn't normally do for myself, and I definitely appreciate people doing things for me that I either hate doing, or don't feel able to at the time. My mom's top one is acts of service, so I think I learned a lot from her, even if it doesn't come as natural to me.
5. gifts - I tend to resort to this with people I don't know well enough to touch or spend time with, but my enjoyment of recieving presents is pretty much purely for the items themselves, not so much the sentimental aspect of a specific person giving to me. I don't feel terribly hurt if I don't recieve gifts from people so long as they give me affection or otherwise show their approval or that they enjoy my company. I tend to give gifts only when I happen to think of something someone would really like, but I don't often go out of my way to figure out gifts for people, even those I care about most.
It's a tie: words of affirmation and quality time.
Followed by a three way tie, between: Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation.
Although, I'm not really for touch unless it's with my really tight circle of close friends.