Extroverts: Victims of Manipulation/Abuse

Extroverts: Victims of Manipulation/Abuse

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This is a discussion on Extroverts: Victims of Manipulation/Abuse within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Hi! New here, but love this site and it's insight :) I am writing a book and working on a ...

  1. #1
    INFP

    Extroverts: Victims of Manipulation/Abuse

    Hi! New here, but love this site and it's insight :)

    I am writing a book and working on a character that has been heavily manipulated and abused since childhood. Coming out of that abuse, I'm trying to figure out what a very broken person (ptsd, fear, nervous) would look like as they begin to heal and healthy aspects of their personality resurface. I'm wanting to make this person an extrovert, but understand that an extrovert in this scenario would not appear the same afterward. So my question is how do you think various extroverted personalities (primarily ESFP, ESTP, ENTP, ESFJ, ESTJ) would respond to such heavy manipulation and abuse? How would it change them? And do you see one of these types being more susceptible to manipulation?



  2. #2

    Quote Originally Posted by pilourey View Post
    Hi! New here, but love this site and it's insight :)

    I am writing a book and working on a character that has been heavily manipulated and abused since childhood. Coming out of that abuse, I'm trying to figure out what a very broken person (ptsd, fear, nervous) would look like as they begin to heal and healthy aspects of their personality resurface. I'm wanting to make this person an extrovert, but understand that an extrovert in this scenario would not appear the same afterward. So my question is how do you think various extroverted personalities (primarily ESFP, ESTP, ENTP, ESFJ, ESTJ) would respond to such heavy manipulation and abuse? How would it change them? And do you see one of these types being more susceptible to manipulation?
    Hello and welcome!

    Well, I'll try to tell you things from my perspective. I'm an ENTJ type 8... and contrary to expectations I wasn't the bully, but I was bullied and the bully was none other than my own older brother... and his group of friends. I won't go into the details, but what I can tell you is the fact that I pretty much withdrew after a while. When faced with abuse an extrovert may become more introverted as far as behaviour is concerned, as he/she might move lower down the stack due to stress. For me, I withdrew and stopped going out to play. I simply stayed in and watched TV. I liked watching history documentaries and pretty much each day was very boring. School was an exception and I could be myself, but never to the fullest extent of what a full extrovert is. Actually, when I take tests I score very close to the middle (55% extrovert - 45% introvert). Even as far as behaviour is concerned, I'm close to INTJs. I don't talk all that much, I'm not that sociable in real life and... and this is important... I have a certain degree of social anxiety, I am shy in certain situations (where I need to display warmer feelings, like romantic feelings or empathy)... Now this wasn't exclusively owed to the bullying, there was also a disease which limited my ability to socialise. But this is, in my personal experience, what happens. The extroversion gets diminished, even up to a point where behaviourally the person can be seen as an introvert.

    This is why it took me a lot of time to realise that I'm actually an extrovert. For a lot of time, I thought I was an introvert. Last, but not least, I think you should look into the "inferior grip" concept for a better view how an extrovert might react under extreme stress. Also, you could try also defining your character by Enneagram type and look into the lower average and unhealthy levels of health for the types.

  3. #3

    I went through being bullied by a grown woman (mother of one of the girls from my classes) in a very competitive field when I was in my early teens. I got quiet. I lost a lot of my expressiveness. Dance became more difficult because while I was physically on point in classes, my face got frozen. I'm usually purposefully very reliant on my face and body to express myself but I found I didn't want anyone to know what I was feeling. I felt like shit.

    Usually I'm very connected with people because of my expressiveness, but I started to feel isolated. People were still talking to me, but I didn't draw people to me anymore. It didn't mean I holed up in the house exactly, but I felt a disconnect. When working with people on stage, you need to move in sync with people, but I wasn't connecting and make some ill-advised moves.

    I was more impatient and short. I'm already prone to saying the first thing that comes into my head, but my filter got worse. I wasn't the likable person I usually am. Sick lady with a bunch of laundry moving at a snails pace blocking the entire sidewalk, I told her to hurry up and die already so the rest of us can get on with our lives. The more disconnected I got, the less I shits I gave about people, the less people engaged me, the bigger the chip on my shoulder got, the meaner I got.

    When someone finally did something about the woman, I didn't get better overnight. About a month later, when it sunk in that she was finally gone and not coming back, I had a good cry. I started feeling better about myself when I wasn't being picked on. I have a pretty resilient self-esteem normally. As I started to feel better about myself, expressing myself got easier. I had an easier time connecting with people. And I started being nicer to people again.

    It was like I'd been heaps of rope tied in a gargantuan knot and pulled taut, tied to a dock on one end and a ship on the other. When I got released from the dock, I got to loosen up and undo all the knots and free to be myself again.

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  5. #4

    I think ESxPs imo are likely to attract specific problems:

    From my experience it is just their Se & Fi or Ti- when it is around toxic & unhealthy shit can feed the beast
    Meaning pending on the where & what

    Se doms while very well can be goof balls and obnoxious as juveniles (Yes)
    Also can attract people who feed off of them.

    I think sometimes they can legitimately attract haters
    Sometimes it is as simple and basic as being seen as obnoxious

    But sometimes it is because an Se dom is likely to at some point be the kind of person who rocks the status quo

    The 3rd reason is because Se is so basic and if it can be likeone wanting to blow out a candle if they get off on it

    If it is an authority figure an Se dom is really likely to seek outlets
    Se doms can be susceptible to giving people leverage simply for not caring about keeping a tighter lid or wrap on their public displays
    So it can be easy if they are in a fucked up place for others to project them in whatever said light to others
    We will call this staging a scene. Which can make Se doms lash out more (being portrayed as hostile or obscene).

    When Se doms are victims of their own victim hood and self soothe they can do some shit which digs the hole deeper. In order to gain control and order of their lives they have to start to be able to identify if this is potentially a cycle they could be susceptible to.

    Both myself and my Se dom older sis I notice are susceptible to this. I think for whatever reason I have been more fortunate in identifying I must be mindful of this. It does not mean I do not still step in shit. I do and have recent. But it does mean I am fortunate enough to usually be able to bitch slap myself at some point or another. I have noticed with some Se doms specifically who are more prone to chemical dependency are extremely vulnerable to being both victims which then in turn can become more so acting as a culprit.

    So it depends if you want your character to have an epiphany and heal and become more well rounded
    Think of someone who is really not on board with a system but defends people
    I think that would look more like, chaotic good

    If you want to see your character turn as sinister as what initially victimized them I think it would be
    Chaotic Evil (Sociopath)

    If you would like to depict someone who is a lost soul- Often heavy addiction and no coping skills but victimless actions
    Chaotic Neutral

    Anyways that to me is just saying Se dom does attract predators and can become predators
    Also NFJs as well

    It has to do with Se & Fe In NFJ/STP cases
    The wonder lust of these types in stages of innocence
    And the Se is so prominent in SFP because they are so devoted to it with their Fi
    That is why I think these types can attract this


 

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