I am not a normal ISFJ. Am I?

I am not a normal ISFJ. Am I?

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  • 1 Post By Drecon

This is a discussion on I am not a normal ISFJ. Am I? within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Everything I've read about the ISFJ just doesn't match up to me, however that is always what my results are ...

  1. #1

    I am not a normal ISFJ. Am I?

    Everything I've read about the ISFJ just doesn't match up to me, however that is always what my results are (minus a few times I get ISTJ depending on the test I take). I definitely am an Introvert, definitely Sensing, in the middle with F/T I think, and I'm more of a J. Every letter by itself makes sense to me, however the whole package just does not seem to describe me.

    What fits:
    I am motherly in the sense I like to help people (training new employees at my job etc)
    I do fit in with the instructor and somewhat to guardian description
    Love animals (many people do though lol)
    Somewhat traditional, like with birthdays
    Not very good at expressing myself, it takes me a while to figure out what I'm feeling
    Love hosting
    Big on the details, great memory
    I keep feelings to myself most of the time unless it is relevant to the situation/conversation
    I dislike harsh words and confrontation, however I will face the challenge (it does take a lot of energy though)


    What doesn't fit:
    Hate religion.
    Very open minded to new ideas, very tolerant of differences
    I like open communication.
    I've been told I'm too logical at times
    I enjoy unconventional, non-ISFJ things (like tattoos, video games, non-traditionl pets like reptiles, etc)
    Dislike reading, would prefer an adventure RPG
    I enjoy new things and new experiences (as long as I get my "house" time.)
    I don't want kids or a big family
    Very selfish, stingy with money
    I need new things to spice up my life. I can't do the same routine for too long.
    I will have abstract and theoretical conversations as long as it's a topic I'm interested in.
    Very ambitious and money driven. Can't sit stagnant in my job.
    I could definitely not be a nurse...
    I've been told I have natural leadership skills, not afraid to take control of a situation.
    I do not sit back in the sidelines, my hard work needs to be recognized or I don't work as hard.


    I know this happens to a lot of people, not fitting your type's description. However, I can't seem to find any other ISFJs that are similar to me! These are just a few things I can think of on the fly, not in any particular order. What do you think? Thanks for your responses :)



  2. #2
    Unknown


    I am motherly in the sense I like to help people (training new employees at my job etc)
    I do fit in with the instructor and somewhat to guardian description
    Love animals (many people do though lol)
    Somewhat traditional, like with birthdays
    Not very good at expressing myself, it takes me a while to figure out what I'm feeling
    Love hosting
    Big on the details, great memory
    I keep feelings to myself most of the time unless it is relevant to the situation/conversation
    I dislike harsh words and confrontation, however I will face the challenge (it does take a lot of energy though)


    What doesn't fit:
    Hate religion.
    Very open minded to new ideas, very tolerant of differences
    I like open communication.
    I've been told I'm too logical at times
    I enjoy unconventional, non-ISFJ things (like tattoos, video games, non-traditionl pets like reptiles, etc)
    Dislike reading, would prefer an adventure RPG
    I enjoy new things and new experiences (as long as I get my "house" time.)
    I don't want kids or a big family
    Very selfish, stingy with money
    I need new things to spice up my life. I can't do the same routine for too long.
    I will have abstract and theoretical conversations as long as it's a topic I'm interested in.
    Very ambitious and money driven. Can't sit stagnant in my job.
    I could definitely not be a nurse...
    I've been told I have natural leadership skills, not afraid to take control of a situation.
    I do not sit back in the sidelines, my hard work needs to be recognized or I don't work as hard.

    Don't relate
    Semi-relate
    Relate

    You're looking too deep into the descriptions. You ought to stud the functions. Descriptions can tick off a few types but from there on deeper investigation is required.

    I'm a Si-Fe btw.

    Also, nobody is normal. People just pretend they are.
    Last edited by Mammon; 10-09-2018 at 03:58 AM.

  3. #3

    Why do you relate to Fe?

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by SillySnek View Post
    Everything I've read about the ISFJ just doesn't match up to me, however that is always what my results are (minus a few times I get ISTJ depending on the test I take). I definitely am an Introvert, definitely Sensing, in the middle with F/T I think, and I'm more of a J. Every letter by itself makes sense to me, however the whole package just does not seem to describe me.
    I'll go point by point for this one.

    What fits:
    I am motherly in the sense I like to help people (training new employees at my job etc)
    That's a stereotype, but is definitely very common for ISFJs (I know some that defy this though)

    I do fit in with the instructor and somewhat to guardian description
    Not sure I like those descriptions, but sure.

    Love animals (many people do though lol)
    Indeed, people of all types love animals.

    Somewhat traditional, like with birthdays
    Fits very well with Si + Fe, although this can take many forms. There's lots of ISFJs that don't relate to this at all.

    Not very good at expressing myself, it takes me a while to figure out what I'm feeling
    Fits well with Aux Fe.

    Love hosting
    Common for ISFJs

    Big on the details, great memory
    Fits very well with Si.

    I keep feelings to myself most of the time unless it is relevant to the situation/conversation
    Very common for ISFJ.

    I dislike harsh words and confrontation, however I will face the challenge (it does take a lot of energy though)
    That sounds perfectly like my ISFJ wife. From all this I see reasons that ISFJ would be the type to come up in tests so I'm not surprised.

    What doesn't fit:
    Hate religion.
    More common than you'd think for ISFJs. Yes, it's common for ISFJs to be active within their local communities and yes, those are often religious communities but correlation is not causation. This point has nothing to do with the question what your type is.

    Very open minded to new ideas, very tolerant of differences
    Again, that sounds like my wife. Tolerance fits more with Fe than Si and open minded is inferior Ne. Intelligent ISFJs will often have these qualities (the descriptions are sadly tainted by the 'lowest common denominator' for ISFJs, which gives a bad impression for some other ISFJs.
    So again, this isn't as rare as you'd think.

    I like open communication.
    How is that not ISFJ?

    I've been told I'm too logical at times
    ISFJs also have Ti and intelligent ISFJs will be able to use that, together with strong Si to be very logical. There's a point to be made that Si lends itself better to logic than Ni/Te, or some other functions. Si mainly deals with processing of information and repetition of actions and processes. In fact, I'd say that ISTJs would be the perfect scientists, because they're so logical.

    There's nothing stopping an ISFJ from being logical so I don't see a problem.

    I enjoy unconventional, non-ISFJ things (like tattoos, video games, non-traditionl pets like reptiles, etc)
    Unconventional by what standards? Society? Your group of friends? Family? Unconventional is a term that is often abused to tell us "what society wants us to think". It's however not out of the ordinary for ISFJs to take on the conventions of their group of friends, political parties, communities, etc and those might not fit with the norms of society.

    I've also seen ISFJs that meld the conventions of different groups to find their own. No problem with that.

    Dislike reading, would prefer an adventure RPG
    Reading is just one activity out of many. My ISFJ wife is into the fantasy and horror genres. She was watching slasher movies at 12. That's still ISFJ behaviour.

    I enjoy new things and new experiences (as long as I get my "house" time.)
    That's your Ne. ISFJs like 'adventure' as long as they can control the circumstances somewhat. My wife often goes and takes an unfamiliar route somewhere just to shake things up. She also doesn't like to eat the same things every day, wants variety in her entertainment... But, she also wants it to be predictable. It's a weird combination and it looks like it fits well with you.

    I don't want kids or a big family
    That's not really a type thing, just a human thing. I'm sure you have your reasons and they work well for you, this is something that happens for every type.

    Very selfish, stingy with money
    Selfish? Like the way you love hosting, love animals and are a motherly figure? You might actually be wrong about that ;)
    Being stingy is often something that is born out of childhood and upbringing. Type could play a role, but I can't see any influence here?

    I need new things to spice up my life. I can't do the same routine for too long.
    Again, it's a weird thing that seems to happen more often with ISFJs.

    I will have abstract and theoretical conversations as long as it's a topic I'm interested in.
    That's very uncommon for ISFJs. I can have these conversations with my wife, and we both enjoy them, but she would never seek these conversations out if it wasn't for me. Maybe it's something your group of friends does? ISFJs tend to enjoy things that others around them enjoy, so that might be an answer.

    Very ambitious and money driven. Can't sit stagnant in my job.
    That's rare, but not impossible. Were you raised with these values or did you pick them up along the way?

    I could definitely not be a nurse...
    My wife is a doctor and I have heard her say the same.

    I've been told I have natural leadership skills, not afraid to take control of a situation.
    ISFJs that feel comfortable in the situation have no problems putting themselves out there. Reasons that ISFJs might not do this can be due to a belief that others might be able to do it better, not enough practice, etc.

    I know other ISFJs with leadership skills too. It's rare, but possible.

    I do not sit back in the sidelines, my hard work needs to be recognized or I don't work as hard.
    That's classic Fe actually. People with high Fe need others to see their hard work to stay motivated. Fits well again.

    I know this happens to a lot of people, not fitting your type's description. However, I can't seem to find any other ISFJs that are similar to me! These are just a few things I can think of on the fly, not in any particular order. What do you think? Thanks for your responses :)
    Overall, I see lots of reasons that you could fit the ISFJ type. I see behaviour that would fit better with ENTJ here and there, but behaviour and personality are two different things.

    So I think you might very well be ISFJ.
    Sensational thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Actually you remind me a lot of one of the ISFJs that come to my mind
    Tehe I call her the ‘good’ one

    The evil one is passive aggressive and superficially linked to the stereotype but is probably one of the most likely people I know to commit murder & get away with it. (Many would not suspect her). She ACTs like she loves all things baby, animal, and nurturing. She is probably one of the most calculated people I know though to be honest. Just so unsuspected because of her bake someone an apple pie act crap she pulls. And yes of course apart of her rouse in seeming like a sweet citizen is going to church with her mother every Sunday.

    Anyways you fit the description very very well of the other ISFJ I think of.

    From my experience ISFJs have a few different tropes not one
    You’re probably more of a teen angst counter culture emo ISFJ insteada full blown Stepford Wife cliche

    eh yeah btw the ‘good’ ISFJ also thinks she is always reasonable (her principles often are with tert Ti) but her execution and delivery can be hit or miss on credibility.

  7. #6
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by SillySnek View Post
    Hate religion.
    Very open minded to new ideas, very tolerant of differences
    I like open communication.
    I've been told I'm too logical at times
    I enjoy unconventional, non-ISFJ things (like tattoos, video games, non-traditionl pets like reptiles, etc)
    Dislike reading, would prefer an adventure RPG
    I enjoy new things and new experiences (as long as I get my "house" time.)
    I don't want kids or a big family
    Very selfish, stingy with money
    I need new things to spice up my life. I can't do the same routine for too long.
    I will have abstract and theoretical conversations as long as it's a topic I'm interested in.
    Very ambitious and money driven. Can't sit stagnant in my job.
    I could definitely not be a nurse...
    I've been told I have natural leadership skills, not afraid to take control of a situation.
    I do not sit back in the sidelines, my hard work needs to be recognized or I don't work as hard.
    I think a lot of those things could fit an ISFJ very well. ISFJs aren't necessarily religious, they may be turned off by the scandals of the churches, or just take a cynical view on religion in general. ISFJs' Fe can make them tolerant of differences as they are open to communicating with others, including those who are different.

    ISFJs have tertiary Ti, which can make them very logical and indeed even INTP-like sometimes when it comes to ruminating about theory and such.

    SJ types in general tend to be frugal with money, and are more likely to be materialistic.

    Needing your hard work recognized and feeling resentment when it isn't is one of the key definitive aspects of xSFJ lol.

    I think you sound like an ISFJ. Not all ISFJs are submissive Evangelical housewife types, they make up something like 1 in 5 women and girls according to some estimates. There's a huge range in what they look like on the individual level.

  8. #7

    My immediate thought was xSTJ. You seem to have higher Ne than ISxJ's usually do and some enneagram 3 or Te traits (taking control, money orientated - reminds me a lot of my ESTJ type 3 ex). You need to look into whether you fit Fi or Fe and Te or Ti to figure it out, not by looking at the individual letters. Best way for me to figure my type out (I went between ISFJ and ESFJ) was to check out the inferior function.

    FWIW let me go through your list:

    > I am motherly in the sense I like to nurse people and take care of them. You seem to move more towards enjoying showing them the process. This seems more Te-Si to me.
    > Instructor? Again I'd see that as an ESTJ thing?
    > I could care less about animals and pets in all honesty but I have an ISTJ friend with 5 cats..
    > I'm not as traditional with birthdays as the STJs I know. In fact I like to try think of new things (with lots of stress!!) to keep that person interested and happy. My ESTJ ex had his traditions though with everything.
    > I'm good at self-expressing in a dead-pan way. I feel absolutely everything and I know why I feel the way I feel. Cliché but I would think T's would find it more difficult to figure out what they're feeling.
    > I dislike hosting tbh, it's too stressful for me and I don't like to plan a whole event. I would see that more an ESFJ thing.
    > What sort of details and memory? The SJs are typically good at this yes but I would imagine they focus on different things. For me I remember the atmosphere, the body languages, whereas ESTJs in particular often don't really care about this. The ISTJ women I know however do care about everyone enjoying themselves and so on so it's a bit difficult to tell.
    > The keeping feelings to self until relevant, I think can be applied to all different functions but I can relate that to my ISTJ female friends too who want to get to the "facts" even though they feel bad or whatever. I think it can be harder for an ISFJ to come away from their feelings. The harsh words and confrontation I'd think of as an introvert thing in general. Maybe ISTJ?


    > I don't hate religion but I'm not religious and most ISFJs I know aren't. Isn't that mostly a cultural thing nowadays anyway?
    > I find that SFJs are very open-minded and tolerant of differences in comparison to STJs so I'm confused why this wouldn't fit ISFJ?
    > As an ISFJ there's nothing more I love than open communication!!! It is VITAL for me.
    > Eh the logical thing. I mean, it's too vague. In what way are you too logical? In terms of emotions?
    > I love video games. Can't comment on tattoos or non-traditional pets though.
    > Adventure RPG is generally my favourite video game genre. I like interactive things where I can "see" things happening - don't get that quite as much on paper (though I do have favourite books). My ISTJ female friends on the other hand love reading and are much better at it than me.
    > Can't comment on the new things and new experiences but I know ESxJ's who can get bored and want to explore and try something new. I really enjoy my comforts and don't have much moments where I want to try something new - cause tbf I've always got too much going on to be able to get bored and when it comes to free time I need it to relax from the mayhem.
    > I'm really family focused (despite not having had a great upbringing or familial relationships) and I really want kids. Again, my ISTJ female friends not so much.
    > The STJs I know are very, very frugal and careful with money. The SFJs I know (myself included) will splash out a bit more, especially when it comes to treating other people.
    > Again the boredom with routine - I know ESxJs who get bored quicker than ISxJs.
    > Similar, can have abstract and theoretical conversations as long as I'm interested in. That's probably a tert/inf Ne.
    > Job/money/ambition focused seems more TJ than just SJ. Same with leadership skills and wanting recognition.


    So, have you considered STJ? I would say it's obvious you're an SJ but you need to check which F and which T you fit. Or maybe from these replies I'm not an ISFJ... I'm also enneagram 2 so I might be a bit more on the feeler side than other ISFJs who may be more focused on their Si (traditions, efficiency, frugality etc) so we might just be 2 different breeds of ISFJs.

  9. #8

    Gut says ISFJ. Maaaaybe ISTJ, but I do see more FJ than TJ *shrug* Others have explained better.

    The main differentiation for me is that you seem a lot more people focused than object focused.

    ESFJ may be a possibility with the restlessness and some of the impulsivity coming from tertiary Ne


     

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